Chapter 425

Gradually, the strength returned to the body, the cold limbs felt the temperature again, the prickly touch came like the tide, but it was gradually warm up; But the stomach is cold, as if throwing a few ice hockey into the general, heavy constantly falling.

He reluctantly stood up, only to find that his legs and knees were shaking slightly. He opened the door of the compartment and walked to the sink. Then he could see himself in the mirror, sweating, messy and pale, as if he had just walked out of hell, The corners of his mouth could not help but outline a wry smile of sarcasm.

Even when he was filming "buried alive", even when he was in the coffin for eight hours, even when he was fighting van diesel, he was not so embarrassed. Today, however, he is in a complete mess. He feels that all the defense lines of the whole person have been completely defeated. He is simply defeated, and even has no fighting power.

But it's not unusual, is it?

Because it's too real for him, it's not a movie, it's life.

He understood the depression of sinking slowly but unable to call for help, the predicament of longing for survival but helpless, the numbness of death approaching but indifferent. He was Chu Jiashu, and he was also Adam. It doesn't take much effort at all. It's easy to be trapped in that chaotic space again.

The eyes in the mirror were so ugly that people couldn't look directly at them. He couldn't help but raise his right hand and crossed over the mirror, trying to delete the image, but only left a series of finger watermark, which made the projection blurred. His face changed into six or seven broken pictures, just like the moon in the mirror.

Turn on the faucet, pour cold water on the cheek, wash away the sweat completely, rub the cheek hard, try to wake up, but then realize that he is very awake, always very awake, because those memories are too real, it seems that never a moment is false.

It's cold, the temperature of the skin still can't recover, almost can't feel the existence of blood vessels; It is close to the touch of a vampire, and the desolation and desolation of the immortal body surge in.

Looking at the trembling hands, Lan Li suddenly understood. All that was a side effect of chemotherapy.

But... Side effects of chemotherapy? How ridiculous.

First, he has no cancer; Second, he did not receive chemotherapy; Third, he didn't even have much physical problems. But he's suffering from the side effects of chemotherapy? This is simply the fallacy of desolation! Ridiculous! groundless statement!

The smile on the corner of the mouth gently pulled up, self mocking up, but up to half, looking at himself in the mirror, but suddenly stopped: This is not impossible.

It's like a pregnant couple. When the wife is pregnant, in order to show consideration and care, the husband begins to adjust his living habits to the same pattern as his wife, such as getting up to work and rest, fitness style, and even eating habits.

In some specific cases of psychological resonance, the husband may also have the symptoms of "pregnancy", including general conditions such as pregnancy, vomiting, nausea, and even conscious fetal movement and abdominal distension, which completely simulates the pregnancy of the wife.

This phenomenon has been confirmed by medicine, and there have been many cases in real life.

Everything is too real, too close, so that the body felt the psychological hint, began to make the corresponding response, completely blurred the boundaries between reality and hypothesis, let the hypothetical situation evolve into reality. So, is that how he is now?

He really felt the erosion of cancer, he really felt the invasion of chemotherapy, all this is like the last life, the kind of slowly sinking suffocation, like death's right hand, grabbed the neck, slowly closed, and then stifled all life, hope.

So, is he really crazy now? Illusion and reality have been completely integrated, just like in Truman's world, the illusion in TV has become the reality of one's life.

He exists, but he doesn't exist. He is a real person fabricated by human beings. He has flesh and blood, personality and edges. It's hard to distinguish the true from the false. But everything he had was in the hands of God. So, can he go out to this absurd reality show like Truman?

Again raised his head, looking at himself in the mirror, cheek hanging beads, pale still can not see too much blood, that pair of quiet eyes lost all the glory. He pulled the corners of his mouth and showed a big smile, but there was no movement at the bottom of his eyes. The unfathomable light could not reflect the vitality.

He knew that in the depths of his eyes, in the bottomless abyss of his eyes, a pair of invisible giant hands were dragging his legs to sink, gradually away from the water surface, and the vitality was dissipating in the dark lake until it disappeared completely.

It's the tumor talking.

So he told himself, this is not his real idea, this is not his real situation, all this is just a tumor talking, that tumor called Adam.

It's all true. He's lanli. He's making a movie called "cancer fighting me."; He used to be Chu Jiashu, lying in a hospital bed paralyzed for ten years; He plays Adam, suffering from cancer and undergoing chemotherapy; His real prototype is will, the screenwriter of the film, who successfully got rid of cancer.

It's all true. His thoughts are very clear.

However, the boundary between reality and illusion could not be found. He was not sure whether it was on the set of "anti cancer me". He remembered a scene in which Adam vomited in the bathroom; He is not sure whether it is back to the memory of the last life. He remembers that the chilling feeling of dying is not from the body, but from the soul; He's not sure if it's his own reality. He's been weakened by a recent period of low fever and stomach trouble.

He tried to find his true self in the mirror. But I can't tell which is the real self. Lenley? Adam? Chu Jiashu? Which "self" should he seek to regain his foothold in real life?

It's not normal. It's as if he just experienced the side effects of chemotherapy. So, it must be the tumor talking. When a tumor opens its mouth, it's like a Harry Potter story, where trees talk and hats talk. It's all illusory, but it's all real.

It must be. He's calm. He's not flustered at all. There is no "buried alive" period of infatuation, even the dream and the set are not clear. Now he is very sober, he needs to keep sober.

Opening his eyes again, looking at the familiar face in the mirror, he said, "it's February 20, 2011. In the afternoon, I'm shooting cancer fighting me in Seattle. I'm an actor. I'm filming. It's all filming."

After that, he stopped for a moment and repeated all the words again. Then he stopped again and looked at himself in the mirror. The sentence "I'm lanli" was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say it anyway. Finally, he simply gave up, took out two pieces of paper, wiped all the water on his cheek, and let out a long breath, The whole person finally recovered a little bit.

Step out of the bathroom again and see Seth and will standing at the door.

Both of them had a strong worry on their faces, and there was no cover up for their nervous look. They wanted to be authoritative, but they didn't know where to get in. As a result, they were embarrassed to stay where they were. It's like a friend just told them that he had cancer. Apart from his "sorry" expression, he didn't know what to do.

Lanli thought it was really interesting, and the smile on the corner of his mouth rose. "You go first, I'll sit down and have a rest, and then I'll follow you." Now the limbs still don't feel too much strength, the whole person has a kind of off force feeling, he needs to breathe.

"Are you all right?" Seth still did not hold back, carefully asked, as if Lan Li is a fragile porcelain doll.

Will, who was standing beside him, also had a heavy face, but he didn't open his mouth. Instead, he looked at Lan Li firmly, and the faint light revealed a trace of firmness and hope. The strength of that belief awakened the resonance of Lan Li, but there was a tacit understanding between the eyes of the same people.

"I'm fine." Langley nodded to Seth with a smile. "Just now, I just felt sick in my stomach. I've dealt with it a little bit. Now, what I need most is to sit down and have a rest and be alone. " Without waiting for Seth's request, Langley took the initiative to emphasize the "alone" thing, "I'm serious, you hurry to the past."

Looking at the two big guys who didn't want to move, Lan Li couldn't help smiling, "this is a hospital. Medical staff are coming and going all the time. This should be the place where you don't need to worry about me. Don't worry, I'm not going to risk my life. "

Seth had a strange feeling. For a moment, he felt that it was Langley who was talking; But the next moment, he felt that Adam was talking. That kind of vague feeling, even people can't tell whether it's a reality or a movie - he has the most opposite scenes with Adam in the movie. He always feels that the scene just now seems to have really happened in the script.

Seth scratched his head, hesitated for a moment, then cast an inquiring look at will. After they both nodded, they stepped forward reluctantly. But after all, it's hard to avoid worry. Looking back, he saw that Lan Li went to the bench next to him, sat down and relaxed.

Seth was a little relieved. Will took his arm and whispered, "come on, he'll be OK."