Chapter 134 - It's Really Over!

I shifted my gaze to the scarf that was hanging in the corner of the room, then replied indifferently, "What's wrong? Daehyun gave it to me yesterday, of course, I will wear it."

After finishing my words, he suddenly fell silent as if something had just locked his lips. However, even so, I could feel his hands embracing me tighter and tighter as if our bodies were about to become one in agony and misery.

I asked again in surprise, "What's wrong?"

Donghwa leaned his head on my back and replied very calmly, "Nothing. I just feel happy — go to sleep."

Happy?

I could even hear his voice that didn't reveal any pleasant from inside of his heart. Then, he said that 'he felt happy'?

He indeed wasn't good at hiding something like his affair.

Actually, Donghwa's attitude that became very calm all of a sudden made me feel that he was weird now. He was a person who wouldn't hesitate to throw a tantrum if things were beyond his plans, but today he showed himself to be a gentle and strict man.

I wondered if he wanted me to sleep on purpose so I wouldn't see him leave ... or what?

However, the more I wanted to find out the answer, the more I felt that the questions were starting to appear one by one and becoming more and more. Due to the many questions in my head right now, I was afraid that asking him any question would change my decision.

The longer he had been here, I didn't feel like letting him go. At least, that's how I felt even though my lips often denied many things from within my own heart.

I was silent, trying hard to sleep so that Donghwa would leave as he promised. However, how persistently I tried to sleep, made my head even stronger to remember the memories that were engraved on the history of our relationship. It gave rise to blooming sparks that spread a powder of mourning.

I felt that I was going insane when my mind began to open the memories that I had closed tightly in my heart.

A while later, Donghwa probably thought that I was sleeping. So, he got up secretly, and I knew that he was looking at me right now before he finally embraced me tightly.

Currently, he was on top of me. I could feel his weight and I was sure that he had lost weight lately. After all, I had been pleasing him under his body for years, so I knew that he got thinner than before.

His physic changed significantly during our separation. Not only his body that was getting thinner but also his face. Ever since he came, I had noticed how the wrinkles under his eyes made him look older than his real age. He was far from being a good-looking man, whom many men and women alike were fond of, and I knew that he was no longer taking care of himself.

I was sad to see the changes in him but also wanted to laugh at him. All this time, he had been nothing without me, but who knew what made him even more stupid to do all this without thinking, would he be able to take care of everything alone? All the reasons he gave were just like the boasting of a child who didn't want to be blamed for too long.

However, I didn't want to comment on anything and keep pretending to sleep in quietness so that he would quickly leave this place.

This had already been decided and couldn't be changed as if heaven and the earth were witnesses of our separation. And if that promise was broken, the two witnesses would get wrath.

Besides, I didn't have to worry about him any longer either. A man like him, who was good at flirting with someone, would find someone else easier to replace me. So, he would be fine after this.

He was heard sighing softly, tingling my neck. Shortly thereafter, he began to say something deeply, "Chunghee, I'm leaving ... I'm leaving ..." There was a sob sounding through his words, "Actually, I don't want to leave but I have to — you asked me. If only I obeyed my ego, then I have kidnapped you. I just don't want you to be tortured when you are with me, so I have to give up on you."

"Chunghee, leave Kim and continue your treatment. I will never forgive myself if anything happens to you. So, please, this time, don't think stupid to die this way. I will go and I promise you will never see me again, so don't use me as an excuse to not continue your treatment."

I gasped in my heart at his words. He even knew that. No matter how deep I hid something, he could even know everything.

He said again, "You know, after this, I don't know if I'll fall in love again or not — but I don't think I will. It's very hard to find someone like you or maybe there's no more. Maybe, if I find someone, he won't be the same as you, and that will make our relationship not last long. You're the only one in this world, so I decide that I will never fall in love again."

"And about Sunyeon, everything I have told you is true. I wasn't lying. It's just that I'm stupid about romance, so I never use my brain. But, of all my stupidity in this matter of love, there are things that I believe aren't a stupid thing that I did, where I know for sure that I love you so much to the point of time, even when I die. That's the only truth that I will never regret in my life. Maybe, if you heard these words, you would think that this just bullshit from a jerk like me. But, I can feel it ... right here ... in my heart, that it really is."

He was silent for a while before I finally felt Donghwa gently kiss my forehead.

"Chunghee ... goodbye."

As soon as I heard that farewell, at once my heart was burning. I slowly felt my chest start to tighten due to the intense pain that appeared like a hard blow inside of me.

I kind of wanted to open my eyes and shout as loud as I could, "Don't say that!". However, what could this stupid me do? I couldn't even open my lips or move my body as if my whole body went numb.

After his words, he immediately got up. Then, he was heard calling someone.

"Hey, Kim, I want to talk to you. Where are you now?"

I wanted to hear their conversation on the phone a little longer, but my ears were buzzing out of the sobs I had been holding up. It also made my whole body unable to function normally as usual, made me feel completely broken but I was the only one who broke myself. It felt even heavier than I thought.

After he spoke on the phone, Donghwa's footsteps began to drift away, then disappeared as the door closed. As soon as I was sure that he wasn't in this room anymore, my body, which couldn't be moved, suddenly moved. I got out of bed, pushed back the blanket, then ran as hard as I could to the old window in this bedroom.

Beyond the window, I looked at Donghwa who walked towards the car that was parked in front of the house with tears in my eyes. I squeezed my chest as if to crush my heart. If only I could break my heart with my own hands, I wanted to break it now so that I could die as soon as possible without having to go through the day after day, where I knew it would be days full of suffering.

I kept staring at Donghwa while shouting inside, "You idiot! You said you would break my leg if I dared to leave you?! Then, what?! Why didn't you do that?!"

Donghwa's words kept ringing in my head. He said he would never let me go and threatened to break my legs if only I left him. But, apparently, that was simply a bluff of him. It was just a threat to make me stay with him.

Still sobbing, my heart kept screaming incessantly, "Donghwa, turn around! I want to see your face one last time! Turn around and look at me!"

However, in the end, he didn't even do it. I thought the same as when I left for the first time, where if he turned around and persuaded me one more time, then I would go home with him. But, since he didn't, then this relationship was really over.

I felt that I was really pathetic.

I didn't know what my heart wanted. Everything was confusing inside of me.

Now, the car sped up and disappeared down the hill, leaving a trace of the pain I knew would be permanent in my heart.

As soon as Donghwa's figure disappears from my sight, I hoped that all the memories about him would also disappear as our relationship no longer continued.

However, what I hoped for never happened. By crying, the shadows of him seemed to fill my head. Nothing was fine in all of this but destruction as the end of everything.