Chapter 145 - Lee Donghwa: A Place Of Memories (3)

Hearing my words, Yunhee was silent for a long time on the phone. There was only the sound of the vehicles filling the atmosphere so neither of us really fell into silence.

Meanwhile, I also didn't want to ask about why he was silent — because I knew that right now, Yunhee would be shocked after hearing what I just said.

Until a moment later, he said, "It's good to hear you say that. But, are you really okay with that? You don't mind Chunghee being taken away by someone else?"

Smiling, I replied, "No. For what? Chunghee has made it clear to me, so everything is obvious to me now. After all, nothing else can change that decision from him." Paused for a moment, I continued, "As long as he can take good care of Chunghee, I'll be okay. I can only wish Chunghee the best."

"Wow." Yunhee still couldn't believe what he had just heard, so he confirmed once again, "That's very surprising. But, did you really mean what you said? I didn't mishear you, right?"

"Yes, I really did."

"Unbelievable. You're starting to scare me, you know. That sounds like ... it's not you who was talking right now." Paused, he continued, "But if you really mean what you just said, it's good to hear. I think that's exactly what you should do, though."

I didn't give any response and just kept smiling but it didn't reach the depth of my heart. After all, if it was the decision of them, what could I do? In fact, by persuading Chunghee directly at that time, I didn't even get a chance no matter how hard I begged him.

I had lost hope from then on. So for now, cursing the irreversible situation was pointless. I just needed to learn to let him go.

In the silence of both of us, Yunhee finally spoke up by asking, "Um, so where are you now?"

"On my car," I replied curtly.

"Huh? Where are you going? I was just about to take you out to dinner."

"I can't. I'm on my way to Gwangju right now."

"Oh, apparently you still remember to go back to your hometown, huh?" Yunhee replied. He chuckled at the end of the sentence.

However, not wanting to talk about any unimportant on the phone, I ignored Yunhee's words and said, "If that's all you want to say, I'll hang up."

"Wait," Yunhee asked, "You go to Gwangju by driving your own car? Ah, I don't think you're okay now. Why don't you turn your car around and head back to Seoul? We can have fun tonight."

"Yunhee, I don't have time for this."

"Ah, that sucks. But, well, then that's it."

After his words, I immediately hung up.

I tried again to focus on driving the car, but no matter how much I tried to clear my mind, I still couldn't help but think about Yunhee's words just now while massaging my forehead to relax the nerves in my head that felt stiff.

Along the way, my phone rang several times. The calls were from Hoonsik and some of my colleagues. However, since I didn't want to be bothered right now, I quickly turned off my cell phone and stowed it beside the driver's seat.

After all, I went to Gwangju just to find some peace. Because lately I had been in too much trouble, so maybe escaping for a few days from that city would allow me to find peace in another place.

An hour and a half later, since Seoul and Gwangju were quite far, I stopped at a bridge. I got out of the car and walked towards the guardrail.

By now, it was noon. The sun was shining, but the temperature of the air made my heart shiver as if there was no warmth left in it, which I could feel when the cold air almost made me freeze.

I looked far ahead and saw the endless sky at the end of my vision. I wondered, 'Why isn't our relationship like the sky that has no end?'

I smiled weakly as the question popped into my mind. No matter how many times I asked myself, still, this stupid me would never be able to change everything to the way it was after I made this ending by myself.

After feeling like I had been standing here blankly for a long time, I immediately got back into the car and continued on my way.

I had no reason to be on this bridge long enough. The longer I was there, it would only make me feel like jumping down to end my suffering.

I didn't know what to do other than run away for a while.

I could only hope, after visiting the places I wanted to visit, I could come to terms with this pain and turn this bitterness into something sweet.

I wish I could ....

After driving for about two and a half hours, I arrived in Gwangju.

At this time, it was late afternoon, the sky that was blue had started to turn golden. I kept driving my car, and as soon as I arrived at a small town, I immediately parked my vehicle on the side of the road a bit away from the crowd.

Getting out of the car, I walked towards a house and saw two kids playing snow-throwing in the front yard. Not daring to approach, I could only look at them from a distance with a smile.

this was the house where my parents and I had lived together in the past. However, now, it seemed that someone else had occupied the house.

I didn't know when my parents sold this house because after ten years I left them, I never came to this place again even just to see how they were.

It was the first time for me to set foot in this area. Right now, even though I had a business visit here, I would rather ask Hoonsik to take my place than I had to reminisce about the past in this place.

However, now, I never expected that I would come to this place and see the house again on purpose.

I felt so guilty and unforgivable. After all, I had bad memories that I couldn't regret in that house with my parents.

When I was with Chunghee, I never felt sorry for what I had chosen at all. But, now, I started regretting my choice.

I didn't regret being in a relationship with Chunghee, but I only regretted why I had to leave my parents. I should have thought of another way at that time, but out of my selfishness, I was reluctant to even think of a solution to the problem.

Heh, never mind ....

Even I thought about it would be useless.

Unknowingly, a little girl who was playing had been watching me. So, perhaps because she was curious, she approached me and asked, "Uncle, are you looking for someone?"

Before I could answer, another kid came after. He warned the girl who asked, "You must not approach a stranger. Did you forget what mom said? Let's go."

However, the girl seemed reluctant to go and said to him, "But, this uncle seems to be looking for someone."

The boy pursed his lips. He looked up at me, then asked, "Are you looking for someone, sir?"

I stared at them for a few seconds before saying with a smile to the little girl, "He's right. Next time, if you see a stranger, don't ever approach him like this, okay? It's quite dangerous."

Both of them glanced at each other, looked confused, before the girl finally asked again, "So, are you a dangerous person, uncle?"

"Heh, I think so. I did hurt someone, though."

Even though I was smiling, I said my words coldly which made the two little kids slightly surprised.

Taking a deep breath, I asked to change the subject, "Do you guys live in that house?"

They seemed reluctant to answer — maybe because of the statement I just made. Until a boy answered, "Yes. What's the matter, sir? Do you need something?"

I paused before asking once more, "Have you two lived in that house for a long time?"

The same kid replied, "Um, it's been a while. Before my little sister was born, we have lived there. Hmm, maybe about . . . six years ago."

"Oh, I see," I said, "All right then. Go inside your house."

As soon as I finished my sentence, I immediately went to the car without saying anything else. 

At least, I had been to this place even if only for a moment. I guessed, that's enough to make me be a person who didn't forget his hometown.

I stayed in the car like a statue was frozen by the cold air out there while thinking about what the little boy had said.

About six years, huh ....

I guessed it wasn't that long. I thought, after breaking the ties of kinship with my parents, they immediately left the place. But apparently, no, they didn't ....

I should have had four years to go to them and apologize, but I never did that. And, even worse, I had never even thought about apologizing to them.

Until now, I regretted not apologizing to them, and then left on good terms.