29 Chapter 19

I don't know what to do.

Riel and Arabella went to train with the fighters.

I tried to join them but after a while the many emotions from those training had become too much.

It seems that I'll have to make do with the skills taught to me by Lord Auron.

I think about going to find Adrian, but he left to join those learning to administer first aid.

No doubt it would end the same way as fighting training had - with me retreating to my room to escape from the oppressive emotions of others.

As for Larcen, if the way he stormed out is any indication, he wants to be alone.

Not that I make a habit of seeking Larcen out.

More than his impressive stature, his imposing aura is what makes him such a fearsome leader.

It's like he's constantly surrounded by swirling black clouds of negative emotion.

I don't want to imagine what that would feel like up close.

And Kent…

Kent is still with Helena.

She needs him more than I do, right now.

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With everything riding on her shoulders she needs a clear head.

I understand that, but…

I can't help but feel useless and alone.

What am I supposed to do?

What is my role in all of this?

Will I do what my father did?

I suppress a shudder at the thought of drawing the telepaths attention to me alone.

Having that kind of target painted on my back and still having to fight my way through so I can kill her in a single attack is not something I can do.

It was barely something my father could and he was a mid-level mage with one of the greatest tactical minds I've ever known.

Even if you removed his magical abilities, it still left his many years of battle experience.

I could never hope to match up to his abilities.

And even if I could…

The empath in me rebels at the very thought of feeling someone die by my hand.

To feel their life fade away and be replaced by a clawing emptiness...

Still, that's exactly what I'm asking Helena to do.

How can I expect her to do something that I'm not willing to do?

But then she's always seemed so much stronger than me.

She, Kent, my father…

No.

I shake my head to dispel those thoughts.

Perhaps not in the same ways, but I can do this.

There's too much at stake for me not to.

For everyone I want to protect.

For everyone who is fighting this battle.