Chapter 194 - From Now On, Only What She Wants Matter.

Fae screamed uncontrollably and rushed towards Ren. When she saw her husband covered in blood, instantly, her mind became crystal clear.

She was outraged and deeply hurt .. but she didn't want to kill Ren. She loved her husband, especially now that she could see that Ren was suffering just as much as she when they lost their children.

Fae became aware that when she was grieving, Ren was grieving too. He was so sad that he had lost the will to live and let Fae shoot him.

"Ren ... oh, Ren ..." Fae called the staff, whoever was in the villa to help get medical help for Ren. "Anyone, please helppp!!"

"Fae ... there's no need ... to help me," whispered Ren as he continued stroking Fae's hand. "I don't need to be helped ..."

"Don't talk rubbish. Ren, why did you give me the gun? You know I am not mentally sound after what happened ..." Fae sobbed. "Why do you want to die?"

Ren felt that he had no more reason to live. All this time, what made him try to live well were all his plans for revenge. He wanted to rule the Moravia, take revenge, and many other things.

But things went awry when he was no longer able to get his revenge. How could he hurt the mother of his children?

Then ... finally, came the final straw, when he lost the two babies in Fae's womb ...

What else was there in this world for him? He lived for revenge, but now he couldn't even carry out his plan to seek vengeance.

His life had no more purpose. If Fae killed him, Ren didn't mind.

If his death made Fae feel better ... then, at least he would be of use.

He closed his eyes, and as he thought about his messed up life, he realized how everything was now meaningless.

If he was lucky, and there was life after death ... maybe he would be able to meet his father and mother ... and maybe his two children.

He never knew his father. Everything he knew about the man, he got from other people. His father died too young. Much younger than he was now.

Ah ... I'm sorry, Father. Your bloodline stops here, he thought sadly.

Fae's voice faded slowly. Then, Ren couldn't hear anything.

***

Fae was really stressed and didn't know what to do. Ren was taken to a nearby hospital by their villa staff. Doctors immediately removed a bullet from his chest. During the surgery, Fae paced back and forth in front of the operating room.

She had to call Doctor Lehmann to ask about Ren's medical records because the doctors in Bali did not dare to operate on him without knowing whether he had any drug allergy or if his medical condition in the past would affect certain medication.

Fae felt awful when she called Doctor Lehmann and realized it was still 4 am in Moravia. However, she had absolutely no choice.

Fae wept in the lounge and buried her face in her hands.

Oh .. why was her luck so bad?

She just lost her two children ... She couldn't afford to lose her husband too. Fae would be alone again. She had no one but Ren in this world.

The doctors and nurses who saw the beautiful woman sobbing could only sigh in pity.

***

"Madame ..." The surgeon who had been leading Ren's life-saving operation touched Fae's shoulder lightly. "The surgery is finished."

Fae, who fell asleep because she was tired of crying, suddenly woke up. She immediately stood up and held the doctor's hands with a worried face.

"How's he doing, Doctor?"

Doctor Rama smiled reassuringly. "Your husband will survive. He lost a lot of blood, but now his condition is stable. We will move him to the ward immediately. Madame can see him soon."

"Oh ... thank God ..." Fae breathed a sigh of relief. She wiped her tears and tried to calm herself down.

She was in a foreign land to her. If Ren died, she wouldn't know what to do.

Maybe .. she would have no choice but to contact Mischa.

Ah no. Hopefully, she didn't have to bother her former boss. Mischa had been too kind to her all this time. Fae did not want to pile up more and more debt to Mischa.

"Madame, you look exhausted. How about you rest in the room first? Later, we will take you to the patient ward," said Doctor Rama. "If you fall ill, your husband will be worried."

Fae nodded. She knew the doctor was right. Fae had to take care of her health so that she didn't need to be admitted to the hospital too.

***

Ren woke up after the anesthesia effect wore out. It was already 11 pm. He opened his eyes slowly and then looked around him.

Ah ... suddenly his forehead creased, and his head ached. Why isn't he dead?

He really wanted to die when he placed the gun in Fae's hand.

But apparently, death did not want to accept him.

Ren paid no attention to the pain in his chest due to the surgery to remove the bullet lodged in his lung. He had seen Fae sitting by the bed's edge. She was burying her head between her hands.

"Fae ... Honey ..." Ren stroked Fae's hair and called her name slowly.

Fae, who slept restlessly, instantly jolted awake. She raised her head and looked at Ren, who was staring at her with sad eyes.

The two pairs of eyes filled with grief stared at each other, and both of them froze, unable to say anything.

"Honey ..." Finally, Ren broke the silence and called Fae's name once again. "Please forgive me. I'm sorry for all that happened ..."

His voice sounded hoarse, he whispered.

He had wronged this woman so many times, while she always did good to him. She had loved him with all her heart during their 1.5 years together.

When he saw Fae's sorrowful face, Ren only wanted to hug her and calm her down, comfort her, and told her that everything would be all right. 

Fae closed her eyes and tried to shake off the image of the shooting incident that took her two children. Before, she could bury the trauma inside her heart because she thought her children were safe ... but now, she knew it was a lie. Her children didn't make it.

Now she had to repeat the mourning process from the beginning and it hurt her so badly.

Yesterday, she was so angry and hated Ren ... She accused Ren responsible for everything ...

However, when she realized that Ren would gladly die to make up for his mistakes, Fae realized that she didn't want to lose the only family she had in this world.

She must learn to forgive Ren ... and learn to let go of everything that had happened.

Her tears began to stream again when she raised her hand and wiped the tears that had also rolled down her husband's cheeks.

"Ren ..." whispered Fae sadly. "I don't want to lose you too. Never do that again, please ... I don't want you to die ..."

Ren nodded slowly. "I will do whatever you want. If you want me to die ... I will die. If you want me to live, I will live ..."

He wanted to atone for his sins to his wife. He would make Fae happy.. For him now, the only thing that mattered was what she wanted.