Chapter 147 - Full Responsibility

"Xiao Luan!" Li Feng held onto the hand that only kept on getting bigger, its grip tighter. He then looked at the eyes of the shadow baby. "I… I'm sorry. You must understand… Mommy… Mommy is scared to lose Daddy. I don't know how you came to be, but… I'm very sure Mommy didn't want to leave you. She just… the memory of losing you is haunting her.

"The more she remembered about you, the more she couldn't accept that she lost you. She never remembered how excited she was when she found out about you, her fantasies of dressing up and decorating her daughter, the amount of love… she was willing to give..." Li Feng drowned at the suffocation of the hand's hold, but he still flailed at the feeling of being underwater.

"How is that supposed to make me feel happy?! You're her child, too… but she never ignored you! She never ran away from the image of you! She… she spoke about you!" The baby continued to cry in a very low voice. "Everything I ever wanted was for Mommy to look at me the same way she looked at you! But these people… they all took her away from me!"

Li Feng scratched at his throat, and yet he couldn't find anything to help himself breathe. His eyes lidded in fading consciousness. He had words in his mouth as he tried to reach out in the void, but there was no more image of the child before him. 'Xiao Luan… it's not too late, sis...'

Plok! Plok! Sounds of popping balloons entered Li Feng's ears. He started to breathe again, but the sounds he was hearing were actually Xiao Luan's body parts exploding. Li Feng shuddered as he saw sharp wooden vines rushing around and blasting bits by bits of the shadow baby. Soon, a tree surfaced from behind Li Feng and caught him with one of its branches. The shadow baby was also trapped in a wooden vine.

"Let me go! You don't know how much I just wanted Mommy to look at me!" The shadow baby howled, but its cries were useless against the tightening grip of the wooden vine. Then, she slowed down and stared at the pareidolic face on the bark. "...please don't kill me..."

"Guangru..." Li Feng whispered, getting a familiar feel from the tree.

"Not all souls are born in a world they dream to exist, but human souls always have the choice to move on and wait for their time to be reborn." The low howling sound of the ancient demon echoed, inevitably making Li Feng and Xiao Luan shudder. "Go on ahead, little one. This lifetime… is not yours to claim. Even a strange creature like me had found a gentle soul to revere as my father after searching for years. You will find a better mother next time."

Xiao Luan shook her head and cried, but she knew that there was nothing to be done. It was either she left now or she'd be eradicated in the hands of the shamans. The baby continued to cry, and Li Feng was slowly let down on solid ground. Before he knew it, the light faded into his sight, and he was back in the viewing hall where everyone else was.

Unlike earlier, the black miasma was only circulating the air before the shadow baby. Moreover, the shadow baby was reduced to howling in defeat as it shrunk slowly. Its power was also receding, Xiao Luan releasing Mian Bingbing from her control. The mother landed on all fours on the floor, panting in exhaustion.

"It's losing power. It's time to end this." Mian Tianni waved her two talismans and was about to strike when Li Feng suddenly got up from his knees and stood in front of Xiao Luan as if protecting her. 

"Wait! Master, please wait!" Li Feng then turned to his mother. "Mommy, Xiao Luan can't cross into the light without your help. We need to help her find a new life… especially when she can't live with us. Please… tell me… why didn't you let anyone know about her? What made you keep her a secret? Is it because… Auntie was right? That she's…"—he glanced at Wang Yusheng—"a fruit of infidelity?"

Mian Tianni lowered her arms. There was no need to be aggressive when the spirit was asking for mercy and safe passage to the next life. As shamans, that was part of their job. She only bent down to tend to her brother.

The mother, however, was shocked. She eyed Li Feng and then the shadow baby that was curling up while howling very softly. Wang Yusheng then held Mian Bingbing's shoulder. "Bingbing, you said you want to be the one telling Heilong. I think it's time for you to do this."

"…but… he will…" Mian Bingbing's eyes quivered. However, she could only stare at what she had done to her unborn child. She then lowered her head before looking up at Li Heilong again. It was easy to tell that his expression was a mix of anger and distrust… with understanding and assurance. "Heilong, do you remember that time when I went to Country G with Dr. Wang to help him with something? But I came back a year later?

"That was when… when I found out that I'm pregnant with Xiao Luan." She clawed at the floor. "Maybe it would have been easier if she's someone else's; you wouldn't care about her, I'm sure. But… I never slept with someone else. I was already three months pregnant when I went with Dr. Wang…"

Li Heilong was stunned. At first, he really thought that his Bingbing had chosen such a trashy doctor to replace him with. It didn't seem to be the case. He then glared at Wang Yusheng as if blaming this guy for keeping him ignorant. Nonetheless, Mian Bingbing had a story to tell…

"I was scared that, if you find out, you will drag me back to the country. I have seen the infestation in the village so I didn't want to leave them alone." Mian Bingbing looked away. "After that, I… I had a miscarriage. However, Xiao Luan was safe so Dr. Wang forced me to stay in the hospital until I'm due. My pregnancy seemed to be more s.e.n.s.i.t.i.v.e at that time. He said he'd take full responsibility in case you got mad that I stayed for too long…

"But… three months later… a ghost king attacked the hospital. I got careless when I took it down. I thought that it was dead when… I turned my back on it. But it was still alive… it took Xiao Luan down with it..." Mian Bingbing started to cry. "I can't face the fact that I lost her because of my carelessness. You had always objected to my side job, and I was sure that you'd blame me for her death.

"Every day and every night, I can only think of what I can say to not have you leave me..." 

She then chuckled bitterly even if tears flooded her eyes. "In the end, I was too proud to take responsibility. I never told anyone about her… and with Li Xin's problem attitude, I thought I could just make things look like I was the unhappy one… when in reality, I felt so happy when I found out we're having a girl that time..."