Chapter 5 - Pride

How can something so perfect, something so impeccable, something so immaculate, so flawless be a sin? [Music] Pride, so easy to see in others yet so difficult to truly recognize in oneself. Although some may think that I am exceptionally guilty of this sin, when it comes to pride, I'm really just a beginner. Yes, pride has been the downfall of many men. Napoleon, with his ill-fated march on Russia. Custer, with his doomed charge on Little Bighorn. And of course, the most prideful ruler, Julius Caesar, who believed himself to be so loved and so adored that he couldn't fathom that his best friend would stab him in the back. But hey, what's a little death as long as you look good dying? Well it's true, pride has impeded the success of so many. For others, they still believe it's their biggest ȧsset. [Music] I am a 36-O. I act in pȯrn. In the big bust world I am considered a legend. Elizabeth Starr became, you know, known for these large bȯȯbs. Bottom is extra small, top is extra, extra large. So nice. She's Elizabeth Starr and she's brėȧsts. My brėȧsts complete who I really am from the inside out. This film is in the top 50 big bust category rentals. I have been acting for about 20 years now. Drop your pants. No foreplay? What's foreplay? [Laughs] This is Queen Collins and that is Prof. Tim Heiner. I am trying out Earth men. Everybody has their specialties. You know, whether it be blow jobs or hand jobs or anal. My niche would have to be titty fuċkɨnġ. Every woman has a vȧġɨnȧ. But, how many girl has this kind of big boob? Mmmm, you're having such a good time. Men love big brėȧsts. Big brėȧsts lots and lots of power. Porn should be a fantasy. I have created something enjoyable for other people which has given me happiness. I was an E, F cup and I wanted to go bigger. Hi Elizabeth, how are you? Good, how are you doing? Good. The doctor will see you in about 15 minutes. When I had my brėȧsts enlarged, I had the poly propylene string implant procedure. Poly propylene or a string implant is a yarn like substance being placed in a pocket in the brėȧsts. The string is an irritant and it will cause the body to make serum. And the brėȧst will continue to grow and grow and grow and grow and grow uncontrollably. In the 90s there was a huge bust movement that was a very glamorous characterized look. If your bȯȯbs are modified and bigger and you can call the shots then you can have more work. The very large brėȧsted girls became these larger-than-life type of pȯrn stars. Everybody knew who they were. She's in the Hall of Fame. She's definitely somebody I look up to. I started my own pȯrn company. And I shoot big busts. And I do it well. And I was pushing out 50, 60, 70,000 units of product a month. Because of the Internet, the ȧduŀt industry is not the same as it was. I've had to stay in business by downsizing. I don't think I would know how to survive not creating big bust content. My mom owns a pȯrn company and I've tried to help her out in the years and that's not really normal in most people's eyes. But I've been around it my whole life. Being a single mother, she definitely has sacrificed her body and herself even just trying to keep this family afloat. I was the third or fourth girl that had the string procedure. And I didn't know that it hadn't been approved by the FDA. I've had numerous complications. 63 surgical procedures to reconstruct the right brėȧst. Caused by the staph infection. When I first met Elizabeth seven years ago, she had about 50 surgeries due to this string substance. She's told me that she was close to dying from the serious infection. Now I have one failing implant and then one brėȧst that's full of body fluid. I would like you to put more fluid in the right brėȧst. You know my feelings that I am not anxious to go back to the operating room with you. I presented her case to. The Los Angeles society of plastic surgery. Most of the doctors there felt that the patient should have a double mastectomy. Having a mastectomy is not an option. It would kind of be a total turn off to me. I will always try to maintain my looks as best as I can. I love my mom for who she is but I am scared for her health. I'm on pain pills on a daily basis. I have severe back pain and when I lay down I couldn't breathe. And then I have nerve damage in both my left and right arms. But my brėȧsts are a great extension of who I am. I don't know how to do anything different. If she were to develop an infection, she could be in serious jeopardy. You have to have money. What you got what you use. She's definitely made a name for herself. I could not imagine Elizabeth without her brėȧsts. I've almost lost my life over it, but I've also capitalized on it, as well. I'm 45 and I am proud of the way that I look. So I am going to give it a last kick in the mud with my acting. That's what the average person would want in their life. Just to be happy with their career. [Music] Well, I guess we all carry the weight of sin differently. For some of us, living within the bodies God gave us is never enough. [Music] I am looking to create an esthetically beautiful body. Being a walking, talking work of art. The image of David and a bodybuilder are one in the same. The body parts flow one to the other. I have created a beautiful thing to look at. I am a living work of art. I am very vain, definitely. I don't see there's anything wrong with vanity. Having a healthy sense of pride about how one carries themselves. Constantly stroking your own ego. Loving how I look. All I wanted to do was train to look good nȧkėd. As a female bodybuilder, I am usually one of my kind. You can withstand pain that other people can't even begin to fathom. You cease to be a commoner. You become sort of superhuman. This must be what Superman must feel like. Roxanne likes to win. That's what motivates her. She likes to win. [Music] Roxanne was very, very energetic. I had a stroller and I had to give it away because she would just run. She wanted to be jumping with the boys. I dressed her up in dresses. But if she wanted to dress like a boy, so be it. She always wanted to be strong. So she picked up bodybuilding. I did it for the first time and I was just like, I never knew I could look like that. And your body slowly morphs into more of a musculature, shaped out body. Everything becomes more visual. You see every vein. It looks like I'm shrink-wrapped. Like I'm inside out almost. So I look like I'm an anatomy chart where all the veins are present and at the surface of my skin. Yeah, people will stop and stare. I've actually stopped traffic once or twice. I had a woman actually staring at me from across the street. She was at me so hard that she didn't realize that she was about to walk into a light pole. When she found out, it was too late because she already hit it. And you heard it across the street. I think, all told, I am very androgynous. We're all made up of both feminine and masculine sides. Every last one of us. When I'm in the other world, the real world, I'm walking amongst women who are looking at me at times as though I'm not one of them. I am certainly one of them. I have been single for a very long time. You really want to have somebody to appreciate your effort. And to not have somebody to share that with, it's kind of heartbreaking. That's the hand that you are dealt. The ideal body comes with a lot of, it comes with a lot of falls. There is a lot of failures. It takes a lot, a lot, a lot of time and discipline. I can't eat like everybody else. I was eating Popeye's chicken. Needless to say, that had to go. I was eating Chipotle. That had to go. In its place, plain foods, white rice, grilled chicken. Food is food to me. When I practice a routine, I practice it everywhere. I am practicing it at home. It's in my head while I'm waiting for a train. I am hyper focused, insanely focused. If I had to choose for her, I don't think I would choose that. She is now 49 years old, I don't know what she's going to do when the time comes for her to stop. I have no time for anyone else. My conversation is limited. I am focused on what I have to do. It sounds pretty cut and dry, or very cold and calculated. But, in order to do it well, I have to be focused on what I am doing. I have a goal to accomplish. [Music] Arduous is the path that leads to perfection. But what good is perfection if it's not eternal? Well, one company may have finally found a way to freeze the hands of time. I'm 51 years old. There is a lot of disease in my family. High cholesterol, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. So, this is the patient care bay. Where we expect patients are going to be staying for several decades at least, perhaps longer, we don't really know. So currently, we have 122 patients in here. We're born with the knowledge that we are going to die someday. But I am here because it's definitely worth extending the life that I have. The core idea of cryonics is to step in and take over at the point where today's medical technology gives up on a patient. [Monitor beeping] Clinical death doesn't mean that they are biologically dead, it doesn't mean that their brain is dead. It doesn't even mean that they couldn't be revived. If you go back 40, 50 years, there are people who then been declared dead who today we don't regard as dead. We are prepared at any time to receive patients. We're going to cool the body within about 60 seconds of clinical death. To a point where their biological process is stopped. We replace the body's water with a cryo protectent, a medical grade antifreeze. We transfer them into our pod. And then the entire pod is lowered down into the dewar, where they are stored in liquid nitrogen. We're talking about extremely low temperatures where there is no biological activity whatsoever. So it doesn't matter if you wait a year or a century, or two centuries, you're going to be in the same condition when you come out as you went in. And think about a century or more of biomedical progress. We're already starting to regenerate organs, regrow body parts. At some point, it seems entirely feasible that we will be able to repair whatever caused that fatal damage and will bring them back as a young, healthy, vibrant person. In contrast to the whole body pod, we also have neuro pods for those people that are just donating their brain. The neuro preservation. The cephalon. The head is separated from the body. The current cryopreservation minimum is $80,000 to be a nuero cryopreservation member. Or $200,000 to be full-body. I Don't feel guilty at all investing the dollars into doing something that could extend my life. Some critics have said that cryonics and people in cryonics are trying to play God. I don't buy into that at all. What we do every day in medicine is the same thing. There is a huge amount of knowledge and strengths and passions and bitter loss every time a person dies needlessly. Life in all its forms is very precious and valuable. My life is valuable and it's really just a shame to throw that away for no good reason. I don't see why I should let nature arbitrarily decide when I end. So there is no reason why we can't change that. Screw nature and genetics. The kinds of people who want to be cryogenically preserved generally are a kind of adventurous souls. We are pioneers. We think our lives are worth living. We think we do have a value and the value of that life can continue in the future. I don't know if cryonics will be successful but it is definitely a science that is worth pursuing. Going after it, trying and trying, and maybe someday we will actually succeed in making it work. There will be a point in the future where we look back on today and say, what were those people thinking? They threw people in the ground to be eaten by worms and bacteria or they shoved them in an oven to be incinerated. Were they crazy? They could have had them cryogenically preserved. It's recognizing the irreplaceable value that is your self and making arrangements to keep that value going in the future. [Music] Maybe the problem is we no longer even see pride as a sin. Perhaps we've looked through the mirror for so long, we've forgotten just how dark our reflection really is. But then again, who am I to judge. Hey, don't worry, you look perfect. Until next time.