Chapter 33 - Candle

My state was not the best after the battle. Although there were no new injuries, I had aggravated old ones.

My back and arm were throbbing with pain. My back was laid on the wall in an attempt to realign whatever bones were thrown around.

This did not seem good, if there were more lizards, my only other option would be to backtrack and try my luck on the other path.

After a short break, there was an attempt to push my back off the wall, but the sudden pain made me stop.

My body decided for me that a long break was due.

After peeling off the scales of the lizard carcasses, my eyes closed and my nose scrunched up. My hand forced the meat into my mouth and the rest was an unpleasant experience that you can imagine if you wish to.

This wasn't the most reassuring place to sleep, but at this point, I didn't care. Slumping down, my eyes fluttered, and then shut.

...

The smell of decomposing corpses woke me up. Standing up was easy enough, though whether or not my back would hold up for more was another question. Forcing my feet to move onward, I would find the darkness was slowly unveiling itself.

Was there really an exit here?

There was a part of me that I couldn't shake off.

One that told me there was no point in going through this suffering.

It made me wonder, what was the purpose of suffering? Fighting so hard to live, yet what was it all for?

My steps did not falter.

Perhaps in my heart, the answer was already there. An answer that made me take just one more step each time.

If only it would share its thoughts with me.

The trek was long.

The tunnel was beginning to widen.

There was a lizard that was sleeping. Just in case, I decided to kill it.

It was only able to open its jaw before it was unable to move.

Moving a few steps forward, the walls were no longer in sight.

With such little vision, the walls gave a certain sense of solace. They told me that there was nothing to fear to my left and right. That didn't mean my conviction was lacking to the point my fear stopped me from going forward.

However, that didn't mean my conviction overcame my fear.

My hand stuck to the left wall, from there my trek continued. For my left hand to trace the wall, my direction shifted nearly ninety degrees left. It seems this place was much bigger than it led on to be.

When it started to get boring, my left hand traced over some hole. Startled, my hand frantically retracted.

Taking a look, the hole only contained darkness. To see further some sort of light was needed. After shrugging, my foot took a step forward, stepping on something hard. Like last time, it startled me. Making me retract my foot.

Looking closer it looked like an unpolished black crystal. Unable to resist, my index finger and thumb clutched onto it.

Upon touching the crystal, it was as if I had awoken from a long slumber. My vision extended far beyond what it used to, now my eyes could survey this segment of the cave. It was not bright, as if there was light, instead there was a coating of grey.

My legs uncontrollably shuddered. This place was very large, perhaps large enough to be a village by itself. Strangely enough, there were black plants that littered the ground. Hills and valleys spread across the landscape. Far in the distance and relatively close were lizards of various sizes.

Most of them were similar to the size that was back in the tunnel earlier, but some were about my size and others were even greater.

The most notable one was a rather giant lizard with a large jaw far off in the distance. If I had to guess, the head would be about twice the size of me alone. It was resting on a large patch of black plants, it was the place with the highest density of plants.

The density of the plants started to die off the further it was from the giant lizard and it seemed the size of the lizards loosely corresponded to this as well.

There seemed to be something special about this place, but there was no way for me to explore it. Not with all the lizards roaming this place.

Right before leaving, the darkness behind that hole came to mind. Holding the crystal up next to the hole made me realize the crystal could fit nicely in the hole.

Taking note of this observation my eyes peered inside the hole.

There was a cavern, the rocks had many black crystals that jutted out. The density of the crystals got denser towards the right. My sightline could not see what was beyond where the crystals became more concentrated.

My stake picked at the hole, trying to carve a pathway, but it was unprecedentedly stable. It made me wonder how the hole appeared in the first place from such a hard wall.

Not wanting to hold the crystal, my index finger tucked it into my pocket. Everything was dark once again. Regretting my action, the crystal once again was laid in my hand, returning my sight.

Unable to further satisfy my curiosity, I made my way back down the tunnel. The trip was long and uneventful.

Upon making it to the fork, my trajectory steered towards the tunnel yet to be traveled. There were no lizards, contrary to my expectation. The tunnel gradually began to widen until there was a large expanse in front of me.

My fingers fiddled with the crystal, as my eyes took in the sight.

The temperature had dropped, making it a little chilly. This section was a tad smaller than the palace. Instead of a ceiling, however, there was a huge opening high above. The walls themselves were rough and had the potential to be climbed, but it was not in a way that would be convenient.

Below that was a large pool of water. There was a large, translucent fish that was leisurely swimming around. The scales of the fish shimmered with a light blue light and there were large jaws inlaid with rows of sharp teeth. The most notable thing was the giant eyes the fish had which contained no pupils.

This was my only chance out, but not only would it be an arduous climb, one mistake would mean some quality time with that fish.

A bitter smile flashed across my face.

My breaths became slow and deep. To climb something of this length, my state must be at its peak.

Well, as good as it could realistically be right now.

My eyes closed as my legs crossed and my back laid on the wall.

Deep breaths...

Deep breaths...

The fatigue gradually faded, as did the pain. My will would have to steel to use my bad arm to climb. It would take far too long to heal and there was no telling if it would get worse or even more injuries started to appear. After all, my need for food was real and the lizards wouldn't lie down for me to kill them. Not to mention lizard blood wasn't the tastiest drink out there.

With a sigh, my body forced itself up. My stake strapped to an opening in my coat that my hands specifically created. Then my eyes stared at the crystal. Although vision wasn't necessarily important, being able to plan my route would definitely be more reassuring.

My eyes glanced at the bloody bandage on my right arm. My hand pulled out my shirt once again and pulled out the stake to cut out another cloth. Thankfully there was a coat to cover the parts my shirt could no longer cover.

My right hand cautiously put the crystal on my left arm and made slow revolutions with the cloth. Tying a knot painfully exerted the muscles in my right arm. Yet to climb this canyon, there was going to be plenty more where that came from.

Once the aching in my arm calmed, my eyes scanned the walls for some route to the top. After making many assumptions on what was possible to climb, a rough route was made in my head.

My shaking fingers calmed down and my rapid heartbeat slowed.

It was time to start.

First clutching a protruding stone with my good hand, my feet started to shift over. The footholds did not give me any semblance of security, but at least they were there.

Now my right hand went to grab another rock. There was minimal pain while holding onto the rock, but my heart knew what was to come.

Releasing the grip of my left hand, my right hand suddenly cried out in agony. Sweat was forming on my forehead despite the cold temperature.

While gritting my teeth my hand reached over to grasp a new rock. After taking a few deep breaths my right hand did the same.

The pain was venomous.

It kept reminding me how impossible the task was.

It kept telling me how pointless it was to keep going.

Every time my left hand would grasp a new rock, the breaks before my right hand followed grew longer and longer.

Despair started to sink in.

It seems my mind threw out any consideration for how daunting this task truly was.

My breaths were horribly ragged, my heart was beating as fast as it could.

Every second that passed slowly broke down my body.

In reality, taking a break did not let me recover energy. The only thing it did was give me time to get used to pain, yet even with these breaks, the pain was becoming too much.

My mind was a tether that would soon snap.

...

What is motivation?

It takes such an insurmountable effort just to light up a candle.

The candlelight constantly fights the raging wind.

Flickering dangerously, the small flame is challenged time and time again.

Even with the smallest spark, so long as the flame survives, it can burn once again.

My face had a bitter smile and my body was uncontrollably shaking. The route that was planned became a little foggy in my mind.

My eyes peered upwards.

The opening was so high.

The progress I made barely scratched the surface of what was to come, the opening was just as far as it had always been.

The candlelight flickered away, not even the smallest spark was left.

Unknowingly, my hands were no longer holding onto anything.

And I fell into the pits of despair.