Chapter 34 - Insanity

The fall was harrowing.

As the wind blew past my ears, the only thing left was to wait for the end.

My body collided with the water, sending streams of water into the air.

The water was ice cold. The wound on my arm leaked blood that started to dissipate into the water. It seemed the fish would have an easy way of finding me.

What was the point?

The slave that killed someone for a piece of meat came to mind.

Why was I trying so hard if it was all pointless?

In the end, my face smacked hard into reality.

It seems I was a fool this whole time.

My eyes closed, waiting for the impending doom.

...For some reason, Ned's voice was echoing in my mind.

'Even if it is foolish I can still respect someone that tries their best to fix this world.'

It was hard to keep my eyes open.

My teeth were grit and my body was becoming numb.

Through the slit of my eyelids, the fish was charging at me in the distance.

My arm that found it harder and harder to move went into my pockets. My hand brought out a pepper that was encased in ice.

Before my hand lost all feeling, it put the pepper inside my mouth. With my last shreds of willpower, my teeth broke the ice and sent the pepper down my throat.

My body went from ice cold to blazing hot. There was a pit of fire in my stomach that threatened to burn me alive.

My skin became red and the water around me boiled, causing steam to engulf me.

Strangely enough, my vision was not blocked by the steam, and let me see the fish that was about to reach me.

The fish's massive jaws were open, revealing the sharp teeth in all their glory. Once the fish was right next to me, my hand reached out and held the top side of its jaw, right next to its empty eyes.

The fish carried me forward and snapped its jaws. My abs clenched as hard as they could, pushing away my legs so they weren't chomped off.

My free hand pulled out the stake and plunged it into the fish's eye.

The fish let out a high pitch screech and violently swam from left to right.

My hand that was gripping the stake was shaking, it pulled it out of the fish's eye and back in the eye.

Pain shot through my back. The fish slammed me into the wall and was scraping me against it. While my coat held up, my shirt had been torn to pieces

My consciousness was getting blurry. My eyes caught on to my hand that was holding onto the fish. The fish's skin that touched my hand was very red and blistering.

So you don't like heat?

My stake was left stuck inside of the fish's eye.

Reaching into my pocket, my finger plucked out the last pepper that was still inside. It was a miracle it remained despite all the thrashing that occurred.

When the fish's jaws opened again, my wrist flicked, and the pepper was sent into the fish's mouth.

Suddenly the fish stopped moving. The fish's light blue skin started to become red and produced steam on a large scale.

The fish started to burgeon and shrink, quickly losing its initial shape.

The eyes in particular were quite frightening as they seemed to stretch to their limits.

With a muffled bang, the fish exploded sending steam everywhere. Thankfully, the water took on the brunt of the explosion, sending only waves of force towards me.

My heart calmed, but there was still steam violently surging from my body. It was a testament to how scorching my body was right now. For some reason, there was no need to breathe. However, the heat was rising dangerously despite the fact my body was completely submerged in cold water.

Damn... what do I do?

It was near impossible to maintain consciousness at this point. My eyes closed.

Then... the sensations faded.

But I did not blackout.

There was a large and familiar meadow...

I was lying down and facing the sky, curiously my eyes peered around. The meadow was filled with many beautiful flowers and the sun was shining warmly on my head. There were black walls far off in the horizon that towered over the meadow.

My hand started to move on its own. Curiously, my eyes stared at what my hand was doing. It first slowly raised and blocked the sun shining in my eyes with a flat palm.

Then it clenched into a fist.

My eyes flew open and my chest was heaving up and down. My body was flat on the ground. The air was humid and there were little puddles of water here and there.

After getting up to my feet, the palm of my hand rubbed on my temple. It was the bottom of the pool, except there was no water left.

What... happened? Was this the pepper at work?

...If peppers are like this, that might explain why spices are not used in this world.

My stake was over in the distance, after going over to pick it up, I assessed my condition. My back and arm hurt as they always did, but miraculously there were no injuries.

After picking up the stake, my eyes scanned the walls.

To climb out of here was going to be even more difficult than it had originally been.

The pieces of cloth on both my arms were wet and loose. My hand tightened the knot on my right arm, then my eyes looked at the cloth on my left arm, the one holding the crystal.

My hand reached out to tighten it but froze before doing so. After a few moments, my fingers fumbled with the knot and unraveled the cloth. My finger took the crystal and pushed it into my pocket, after which my vision regressed to roughly two meters.

The candle no longer had a light, but I dropped it on a flaming pyre and watched it burn.

My hand clutched onto the wall next to me and I started to climb.

My left hand pulled me up, while my feet caught me. My right hand reached far up and carried my entire weight on its own. My arm was begging me to stop, but it was as if my mind didn't recognize it.

It was hard to see what was ahead of me. This time, there was no path envisioned beforehand to prevent any major obstacles from appearing.

There was a large protruding rock right above me, blocking my way. Climbing until the ledge was in sight, my right hand clamped onto it, hoisting me up. My left hand arbitrarily caught a rock that happened to be there and my foot stood on the large rock.

My first attempt at climbing out of this canyon involved doing anything to even slightly increase my probability of getting out. Coming up with the easiest path forward possible. My plan involved some shortcuts here and there that should've let me go higher fast. In the end, my hands let go and I was left to fall.

Everything was logical, my attempt was optimized, despite the slim chance it had. Any normal person would tell you that it was impossible to climb up and that if it really was your last option, to take the easiest way possible.

Yet here I was, climbing up from rock to rock, with no goal in sight.

Pulling myself up, then catching myself endlessly. The pain in my arm was starting to spread to the rest of my body, but that would not slow me down.

Even if there weren't injuries in my arm, or back, it would be hard to deny climbing up so high was impossible. Perhaps most would just give up, letting themselves fall to the bottom.

In fact, that might be the smart thing to do, to minimize suffering, rather than chase fruitless dreams.

My right hand clasped a rock. While pulling myself up, the rock loosened before breaking off. My right hand frantically searched for any rocks and held onto one, leaving me dangling by only my right hand.

Blood started to seep through the bandage on my right arm. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and my breaths were heavy. With a heave, my right hand clenched harder and pulled the rest of my body up.

Any sane person wouldn't force themselves through something so challenging, yet unrewarding.

So why was I forcing myself up?

The only thing above was more rocks, followed by some more rocks.

Perhaps I had gone insane.

Doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, nothing that proved my actions mattered.

My consciousness blacked out. By the time my consciousness returned, I was falling.

Both my hands and feet scraped along the wall, slowing my fall. Soon I was able to catch myself, but by then my fingers were bleeding and one of my toenails had cracked.

Then my left hand reached for a new rock and pulled me up.

What could make a person move through the darkness when each step presented nothing?

What could make someone try again when every other time they failed?

What could make a human with no hope push onwards?

...It seems I really was insane.

The blood made my hands slippery, the only option was to grip at a rock a few times before a firm hold was achieved.

I had come to a conclusion. My definition of motivation.

It was not the candlelight in raging the winds fighting just to stay alive.

It was a blazing inferno, ignited by the sheer madness raging inside your head.

The insanity that forced you forward when everything else was lost.

The will to bend the rules of logic and become a legend.

My right hand reached up and touched dirt.

I pulled myself up and my eyes met with the rising sun.