After that, the four of us went to cook. Erin was a little sleepy, so she almost hurt herself by dropping a pot filled with boiling water. Thankfully, Alyx was able to react in time, catching the pot before it spilled on Erin. Alyx ended up scalding herself in the process though.
There were no other mishaps and we got to eat comfortably. Then, the four of us went to study magic.
The entire time, I was pondering on what I wanted to do.
I gave up on trying to do everything perfectly. However, now I was questioning what I wanted to do. Countless memories had flashed through my mind.
Mildred downing a beer to stave off her boredom...
Ela who tried to carry the entire kingdom on her shoulders...
Ned who was feeling lonely...
Then, I thought about the other people.
Those captured as slaves, forced in cellars against their will...
The farmers that had to shovel snow off their farms just to live a few more days...
And Everett too.
A kid that just wanted to make her mother happy, but would never be able to do so.
...I made my choice.
I wouldn't neglect my friends, but first, I needed to become stronger.
In the end, I was still too weak. So long as this fact remained true, I would be unable to stop their suffering.
Only if this world... was changed, could everyone be happy.
And the only thing I could do about it was practice my theories and gain more experience.
With renewed determination, I held up the spell parchment and glared at it intently. The world around me had been blocked out entirely.
The only thing my eyes saw was the spell diagram in front of my face.
My mind first double checked that my memorization of the strange diagram was correct. After confirming this fact, my eyes fell on the connections between the separate diagrams.
...I guess it would make the most sense to start at the strange diagram since that was where I left off.
Each spell diagram was connected with various threads that seemed to serve no true purpose. They all had at least two threads connecting them, which made it a little confusing to say the least.
Just by looking at the various threads connected to the strange diagram, it made me feel like I was thrown into a maze.
All around me were countless pathways that each led to even more pathways.
However, there was no escape to the maze.
The only way to conquer it was to memorize every single stone brick it was made out of.
My head spun around, taking in the immediate paths before me. Each entrance was slowly imprinted into my mind.
Then, I walked down one path, attempting to memorize where it would take me. After taking several steps forward, I would come back to the start.
From there, I would pick a different path, walking down several steps once more. This continued until I had taken a couple of steps down each path from the beginning.
I repeated this process but went a little further.
Like that, my mind slowly memorized the spell diagram.
...But it wasn't that easy.
The further down I walked, the more paths would open before me. They were numerous but didn't have any defining features. As such, I mixed them up quite a few times.
Sometimes I would take a left, only to hit my head against a wall.
It was simply getting far too complicated, like the ever-increasing threads on the outer edges of a spider web.
...It was frustrating, to say the least.
My knuckle rubbed against my temple, soothing a bit of the stress in my mind.
"...This is going to be hard."
What set this apart from everything else, was not necessarily the volume of the spell, but the different branching pathways.
There have been other spells, like firebolt and encase, that combined multiple spell diagrams. However, their connection was relatively simple. From what I recall, they were elementary spells, just like the spell I was currently memorizing.
So... why was there such a big difference in their difficulty?
It seems even within ranks, there was a great disparity.
Someone patted my shoulder.
"Hey... are you alright?"
I turned to the side and to my surprise, it was Mildred. She had a concerned look on her face.
My eyes blinked a few times.
"Ah... I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
Mildred smiled bitterly.
"You... look a little tired."
I looked down at my body.
My clothes were drenched with sweat while large blue veins could be seen poking out from under my skin.
An awkward chuckle slipped out of me.
"...Huh. When did this happen?"
Mildred looked at the spell parchment still in my hand.
"Were you trying to memorize this spell? It really isn't something a mage should look at for their first spell."
My hand scratched the back of my head.
"Well... I feel like I can be considered an exception."
Mildred raised an eyebrow.
"Eh? What do you mean?"
A dry chuckle escaped me.
"Well... I am unable to cast magic. So it doesn't really matter what I look at for my first spell."
Mildred furrowed her brows.
"What?... That doesn't make any sense. Why did you want this spell in the first place?"
My mouth dried up. I got the courage to speak up after licking my lips.
"Well... I saw it in the magic school. That's why I wanted to take a peek at it again."
Mildred took a step back and gave me a once-over.
"...You seem to have gone much farther than a peek."
An awkward smile emerged on my face.
"Haha... it's not that bad, right?"
Mildred smiled bitterly.
"Your clothes are drenched from sweat, your veins are bulging from your skin and your eyes are bloodshot."
She sighed.
"...I didn't even know it was possible for someone to be in this condition just from memorizing a spell!"
...Honestly, I didn't think that it was possible either.
Yet here I was.
I held my fist in front of my face and coughed.
"It seems I got this way without even realizing it."
My eyes shifted back towards the spell parchment, landing on the diagram. But before I could continue, it was snatched from my hands.
"No more memorizing!"
Mildred gave me a strict glare.
"You're already in this state and want to continue?"
Well, she definitely had a point.
I pressed my lips together.
"Haha... you're probably right."
Mildred sighed.
"Go take a break already! Your companions have already left a while ago."
My eyes scanned the rest of the room. As Mildred said, Ned, Alyx, and Erin were nowhere to be seen. There was even a small plate of food next to me.
Out of nowhere, a strong hunger assaulted me.
Without waiting, I proceeded to shovel it down. For a minute or so, I had become the reincarnation of a vacuum, inhaling all the food in front of me.
Once I finished, Mildred blinked with a bit of shock.
"Um... you shouldn't eat so fast."
She knew that her remark was a little late, considering the food was already in my stomach. However, she said it anyway.
My cheeks heated up.
...That could've been handled with more grace. Though in hindsight, I probably would've eaten like that even while knowing that it was going to be embarrassing.
My throat cleared.
"Um... I will go take a break now."
Mildred nodded.
"Alright. Don't forget to take care of yourself!"
A small smile emerged on my face.
"I'll try!"
I began walking upstairs and waved to Mildred.
Mildred waved back but suddenly froze.
"Wait, don't just try! You have to actually take care of your body!"
A small laugh came out of me as I escaped towards the stairs. Mildred sighed helplessly, then tended to her own things.
It was only after taking a few steps up the stairs did I realize the condition of my body. The adrenaline left my body like the fleeting light of a shooting star.
My body began trembling violently.
...How did this happen? I was just sitting down the whole time!
Logically, my body should be well-rested, right? Well, I didn't understand how human anatomy worked.
Was it even called human anatomy?
...Whatever.
My foot slowly raised, violently trembling as it went. After a lot of pain and struggle, I got on the first step. My mind was already on the verge of blanking out.
My mind pondered for a moment.
It was probably a bad idea to keep going, wasn't it?
My lungs forced in a deep breath. My foot was slowly pulled back, meaning all the effort I put into raising it was for naught.
My foot was placed on the step below.
Then, it spasmed.
To my dismay, my body uncontrollably fell backward.
My eyelid twitched.
This was probably going to hurt, huh?
Well, nothing I could do about it now.