Chapter 93 - Lullaby

I sucked in a breath through grit teeth. My eyes closed, bracing for the impact. 

A jolt passed through my body. But... my back felt fine. It was my arm that hurt.

I opened my eyes to see... Erin holding onto my arm.

She had a flushed expression and puffed cheeks.

"What are you doing!"

She pulled me back up and lifted up my body with the help of her shoulder.

"If you fall, it will hurt really bad!"

My hand scratched the back of my head.

"Haha... I overestimated my ability to climb stairs."

Erin raised an eyebrow.

"Wow, you're even more clumsy than me!"

An awkward laugh escaped me.

"I guess so..."

Erin helped me get up the stairs. Although it was still slow and painful, it was much easier and there were no more mishaps.

By the time we reached the top of the steps, I was panting.

"Thank... you..."

Erin smiled.

"No problem! Where are you trying to go, anyway?"

My hand pointed towards the door to my room.

"I just... wanted to get some sleep."

Erin pouted.

"Ok... Be careful on the stairs next time!"

A small smile spread out on my face.

"Alright. Thanks for saving me."

Erin giggled.

"No problem."

Once we got to the door of my room, I looked at Erin curiously.

"Say, where is Alyx? Isn't she usually with you?"

Erin tilted her head to the side.

"Ah, Alyx wanted to study her spells a bit without being distracted."

Erin giggled.

"I think that's because she was looking at how hard you were working!"

My eyes blinked a few times.

"Huh? Are you sure?"

Erin held up her index finger right next to my face.

"Yes! She looked at you like she couldn't believe how intensely you were staring at the paper!"

A gasp escaped me.

"Ah... It's not that impressive, is it?"

Erin tilted her head to the side.

"Well... it is to her!"

She grinned cheekily.

"And me too! I don't think I could ever focus like that."

I held the back of my head with my hand.

"Haha... I guess it's a little impressive then?"

Erin smiled and tapped my shoulder with her finger.

"You really need to learn to take a break though!"

She crossed her arms.

"Look at you now. You can't even climb up a set of stairs!"

I nodded.

"Yeah. I honestly never realized things got this bad until... they were."

Erin sighed.

"Maybe being so concentrated all the time isn't the best."

An awkward laugh escaped me.

"I'll try my best to tone it down a bit."

Erin nodded with a big smile. She opened the door for me and helped me inside. With a few stumbles, I was eventually able to lie down on the bed.

Erin didn't leave immediately. Instead, she looked at me with a bit of curiosity. Her beady eyes stared at me kinda like I was a zoo animal.

I coughed.

"Um... what is it?"

Erin giggled.

"You are a really strange guy!"

An embarrassed smile appeared on my face.

"What do you mean by that?"

Erin pouted.

"It's like... you already know us, or something!"

The corner of my lip twitched.

How does someone even tell this type of thing?

"Uh, I'm not really following. How do I already know you guys?"

Erin bobbed her head.

"Mmm..."

She raised a finger in the air.

"It's like you're never surprised or always know what we're about to do!"

My eyes blinked a few times.

"Huh?"

Erin giggled.

"Like that time you just somehow knew the earth spell, but lied to cover it up!"

My eyelid twitched.

"But... that doesn't mean I already know you guys!"

Erin pointed at me accusingly.

"I also found out that you accurately predicted Alyx's spells!"

My shoulders shrugged.

"Ah, well that's just a lucky guess!"

Erin waved her finger in front of my face, nearly hitting my nose.

"Then you even predicted your own talent!"

I raised my hands up like I was surrendering.

"But that isn't even related to knowing you guys beforehand!"

Erin huffed cutely.

"You just... seem to know everything that's going to happen! You lied about not wanting talent, but you totally lied just so that we wouldn't feel bad, right?"

An awkward laugh escaped me.

"There's no solid evidence!"

Erin puffed her cheeks up.

"I have all the evidence I need!"

I didn't know what to say.

After a few moments, Erin sighed.

"Why do you lie anyway? It just makes things more complicated!"

My eyes blinked a few times.

"...But if I told the truth, it would just get more and more confusing."

Erin put her fists on her sides and stuck out her elbows.

"That doesn't mean you have to lie!"

A bitter smile appeared on my face.

"But..."

Erin interrupted me by shaking my shoulders.

"Just say you don't want to talk about it!"

A forlorn expression appeared on my face.

"Well... I just want to give an answer so they stop thinking about it."

Erin crossed her arms.

"Well now I'm thinking about it!"

For some reason, those aggressive words felt... really warm.

I laughed.

"Sorry."

Erin hummed with dissatisfaction.

"Mm... I guess I should let you sleep."

My lungs forced in a deep breath.

"I... guess so."

A sigh escaped me.

"Though... I don't think I will be sleeping anytime soon."

Erin raised an eyebrow.

"What! Why are you even here if you aren't going to sleep?"

My brows furrowed.

"I just... my mind keeps whirling around, like a damn raging sea is passing through it."

My hand reached upwards to hold the side of my face.

"It makes me feel wide awake and even a little pain."

My eye peeked through the fingers of my hand.

"And... I can't stop thinking of that spell diagram."

These were my true thoughts. Though the adrenaline had left my system, my mind kept harping on, still thinking about the spell diagram even when it wasn't there.

Erin furrowed her brows.

"Oh, that's not good."

She pressed her lips together.

"Mm... I've never dealt with something like that before."

My hand slipped off of my face.

"Yeah, this is my first time. My best guess would be to stop myself from thinking about it, but I don't really know how to do that."

The only thing I could see was the maze. When I closed my eyes and covered them with my hands, I would see another maze. It was inescapable.

It was almost like... a sneaky parasite had latched onto my mind.

Erin put on a serious thinking expression, but it ended up looking cute.

"When I have trouble sleeping, I like to listen to a lullaby!"

A bitter smile spread out on my face.

"I... don't think that will help much."

Erin giggled.

"Just try it!"

I nodded reluctantly.

"Ok..."

Erin closed her eyes and slowly swayed her head back and forth.

"Hush little baby, it's going to be a long night."

My cheeks heated up. It felt a little... demeaning to be called a little baby. I decided to remain silent anyways.

"I wanna tell you that I care and I really mean it.

The forests are cold, but days without you are colder.

I'll cross my heart and hope to die, I know it will be alright if I'm by your side.

When we look to when we're old, I promise our footprints will be side by side.

I don't know what the future holds, but I don't need to.

Time will stretch on forever, but I will wait even longer for you.

Even the darkest nights with you, can shine so bright.

You are never alone, even if we are apart.

Just know I will always chase you, my guiding light.

So please wait for me, I promise I will arrive.

I would walk a thousand miles to see your eyes, even if we must say goodbye.

Times will get tough, but we will be tougher.

You'll never need a friend, cause I'll be there.

Even if the rain pours down heavily, together we can escape all this reality.

So long as I'm here, the stars don't have to align.

Flowers will bloom and wilt, just like you and me.

But we won't ever be alone, not now, not ever.

We may be scared, but just take my hand.

There's something in your eyes that tells me we won't be sad.

Always and forever, till the end.

So hush little baby even when the night gets scary.

We don't need the sun to shine on brightly."

Mmm...

I guess I understand a little more of what Ned means by being alone now. Perhaps everybody feels a little lonely sometimes.

Erin lightly brushed aside my hair.

"Feel sleepy now and go to bed."

My eyes closed.

I wonder... where did Erin learn about this lullaby?

Maybe it was Alyx that sang it to her, sang it so much that Erin knew it by heart.

....And now it was being sung to me.