118 Unconcerned and tranquil

Did Yuan Xuelan hear that right? Or perhaps it was but an auditory hallucination created by his desperation. Hope was cruel.

"..." Yuan Xuelan only grimaced and looked away. He could not understand why Liu Sumeng was not giving him a clear rejection. Was he being fed with foolish hope that would only end up with him embarrassing himself? Yuan Xuelan could not understand. But he knew that his heart bled freely for this man and it was driving him insane. Gods, was he already insane?

"Maybe…we shouldn't…" His throat ached but Xuelan forced the words out anyway, "shouldn't be so close…"

Maybe then he could forget his obsession, perhaps then his heart could heal. Yuan Xuelan did not want to be a burden to Liu Sumeng, no matter much it agonized him.

And Liu Sumeng understood that much as well. Staying apart might be the best answer to this situation. But how could he bear that? Liu Sumeng could not. He already followed this idiot from one lifetime to the next.

"No," the Ivory Sword Saint said resolutely, a strange feeling clamped down on his chest, "Let's not."

"But…" Yuan Xuelan hesitated, "Didn't you hear me earlier? I like you. It seriously hurts me…and…"

A pause. Liu Sumeng was patient and watched Xuelan swallow, "You should just marry my Shijie. You make her happy, you know? You thought that I liked my Shijie romantically, but I don't. Sorry, I lied. You don't have to cancel the engagement or anything."

"I did," Liu Sumeng said resolutely, "I canceled it."

Yuan Xuelan didn't know if he should feel relieved or guilty. He sucked in a sharp breath, "But-"

"I don't regret it." Liu Sumeng said, "It is not meant to be."

"...I don't understand."

Liu Sumeng sighed and didn't know how he should explain it either. Again, he cursed his inability to properly spin words. He changed the topic instead, "Why?"

Yuan Xuelan perked up, confused, "Why what?"

"Why do you like me?"

Yuan Xuelan's face went red. He as well was not certain.

"...Is there a reason for falling in love? Doesn't it just happen?"

One moment, Liu Sumeng had simply cemented himself in his heart, so vividly that even all his dreams were haunted by this man. How could he define such a thing? He couldn't. There was never a clear reason, aside from Liu Sumeng being the most wonderful and alluring person he had ever met.

Liu Sumeng could not help but chuckle at those naive and cheesy words. "Idiot," he chided.

A giddy feeling warmed Yuan Xuelan's tummy.

"Enough talking for tonight. Go to sleep," Liu Sumeng said.

Yuan Xuelan scooted over to the bed and secretly wondered if Liu Sumeng was going to find another room for himself. That was probably the case, even if he hated it. And there were still so many things that he wanted to say and talk about, causing him to fidget. He was pouting like a petulant child and refused to lay down, even giving the Ivory Sword Saint a frustrated glare.

"What is it?" Mysteriously, this Ivory Sword Saint was also sitting down on the same bed.

"You…" Yuan Xuelan wet his lips, gathering the courage that he sorely lacked, "Why won't you push me away? Can't you just reject me more clearly?"

Shyly, he peeked at Liu Sumeng who sat way too close, whose sculpted visage caught hints of silver moonlight and eyes danced with emotion that made Xuelan breathless.

"I will think about it." Was all he said as he reached up and patted Yuan Xuelan on the head. "For now, sleep."

"Oh…okay."

And he was tucked into bed, with Liu Sumeng curled up next to him in the same bed. Not long, the Ivory Sword Saint's breathing evened out, soft puffs of air tickled Yuan Xuelan's face.

Wait, what just happened?

Yuan Xuelan's mind seemed to have stopped working.

Did Liu Sumeng just say he'd think about it? Think about his confession? D-Does that mean he had a chance?

His depressed heart suddenly kicked off in strides, racing loudly in his chest cavity. Yuan Xuelan's eyes were wide as he stared at the person sharing his bed.

Why was he even sharing his bed!!?

How was he going to sleep now!?

Of course, Yuan Xuelan could not get even a wink of sleep.

Soon there were birds singing. Twilight simmered away into dawn which turned to daylight. Elsewhere, people had begun celebrations for the Mid-Autumn Festival, and meanwhile the two of them were caught in the middle of nowhere.

Almost like a secluded honeymoon.

Yuan Xuelan was going to die from torment. And meanwhile, Liu Sumeng was still sleeping peacefully…Just why!?

Yuan Xuelan spent the past hours wondering if he should scoot away or snuggle closer. What was even wrong with him?

'You pathetic boy,' Huo Tang sneered in the corner of his mind. As fatigue was settling in, it became more and more difficult to block her out of his thoughts, 'Did you not hear what he said earlier?'

No, but, maybe he heard wrong. Or maybe Sumeng had meant something else. After all, Sumeng was really bad with words so who knew what he really meant…

'Ridiculous!' Huo Tang's sharp voice was full of exasperation, 'This is prime time to win his affection and this is how you go about it? He just said he will think about it, so will you truly not take this time to seize the moment?'

He just wanted her to shut up…

And yet…

Huo Tang had a really good point! Yuan Xuelan jolted upward. A shot of adrenaline overtook him as he slid out of bed, listening to Liu Sumeng's little groans of protest.

It was hard leaving such a cute person defenseless in bed...but Yuan Xuelan sucked in some courage and determination and ran out the room, grabbing Silei off the side of the bed as he left.

'Good!' Huo Tang said in a singsong tone, 'Finally you are doing as you should have months ago! But first, can't you do something about your appearance?'

He grumbled at her nagging but still put on his outer robes properly and even tied up his hair. But he already had no time to waste, Sumeng might wake up at any time now, so he had to be quick!

…

Liu Sumeng dreamed of a bygone life.

It was not clear what he dreamed about, but when he woke it came with a heart heavy and a mind addled with despair. His bed was empty, which made him instinctively curl in on himself.

But a delicious fragrance drew his consciousness out. It was the mistakable smell of lotus soup and something sweet, like yam.

He peeled open his eyes.

Birdsong greeted him, a stream of sunlight that passed through the fluttering silken curtains. It was an unfamiliar place and yet he found himself lulled by a domestic comfort. Liu Sumeng was slow to rise. He remembered how they were due to return to Reling and the Mid-Autumn Festival that awaited them.

And yet, he did not feel the urgency.

Liu Sumeng sat up slowly and took the time to comb through his hair and straighten any wrinkles out of his robes.

Perhaps he should feel concerned over Yuan Xuelan's absence but he could hear a mild sound coming from the other part of the resident. It sounded suspiciously like a knife against wood, and Yuan Xuelan's bickering voice.

Maybe he was still sleeping.

Or maybe everything that happened the night prior was a dream as well, with Yuan Xuelan telling him such ridiculous things.

And yet, why did Liu Sumeng feel like smiling? He sighed at himself, and the color that threatened to creep into his face.

Enough of this foolishness.

He followed the trail of fragrance. Yuan Xuelan's voice grew louder down the cobbled path. There was smoke rising from the kitchen.

"Stop it! I know what I'm doing, damn chicken. Sumeng doesn't like strong flavors, stop adding salt! I don't want to add more salt!"

From the open entrance, Yuan Xuelan's back was turned to him. There was something simmering on the stove and a few bowls already set aside with lids that held in hot steam.

Yuan Xuelan was still chopping up broccoli, seemingly arguing with himself. Ah, surely, Liu Sumeng was still dreaming. He stopped at the doorway and only watched, wondering when he would wake from this strange mirage.

A piece of ginger was diced up neatly as well. Yuan Xuelan never cooked in his previous life, just where did he pick up this skill? Or rather, why was it that Liu Sumeng never knew about it?

Finally, Yuan Xuelan caught sight of him, jolting from the spot as he turned to face Liu Sumeng. A wonderful red tone graced his features, "Sumeng! You're awake! Ahhh please wait a little longer I'm not done yet."

It was adorable in his movement, jumping out in front as if his body could block what was being made. Though, the quality of food was a little bit suspicious.

"Is this for breakfast? You made a lot."

Yuan Xuelan visibly flustered and shuffled about on his feet, "If it's something that Sumeng doesn't want to eat, I will eat it."

Deciding not to alarm the boy any further, Liu Sumeng nodded and retreated, "Then I will wait."

Before he left he saw how Yuan Xuelan's visage instantly brightened at the words. How cute.

Perhaps he didn't have to think too hard about things after all. And thus he turned around to observe the small courtyard where the people previously living here had grown a few vegetables. There were chickens running about, pecking at the overgrown plants.

A part of him almost wanted to tidy it up, but they should not stay long. In reality, they should be making their way back right then. Many responsibilities still lie in wait, no doubt there will be more Fallen Gods soon marching to their doorsteps.

And yet, even when Hengsheng was now quiet and barren from human activities, animals were fast returning to claim their homes. The ghost town, though still eerie, turned unconcerned and tranquil.

Like a moment suspended, distant and distracted from contemporary problems.