Chapter 70: two mothers

"Killian" I jerked his hand and he finally snapped back to reality.

"Are you okay?" I asked, touching his cheek and he nodded, but I could see unshed tears in his eyes.

"Come here" I gently pulled him towards the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed, I rubbed his hands and asked again, "Is there something that is worrying you, Killian?" 

He shook his head and replied, "just some old memories of my mother."

"Oh, do you miss her a lot?" I don't know what else to say, no matter how much I try I could not feel his pain, I could only try to understand it.

"I do, she was very kind and caring, she loved me a lot," he replied in a low voice. 

"Then you should be happy, she did not want to see you sad, she would be sad too if she saw you crying.'' I hugged him and he clutched my waist tightly.

Poor boy, why had I never thought that he was still attached to her mother, what if he thought that I was trying to snatch her place.

"Killian, I am sorry, I did not want to hurt you, baby. I will not force you again to call me, mother.'' I coaxed, gently patting his head and rubbing his back.

He nodded as he left my arms. "It's not like that, your highness. I just need some time." his voice was low as if he was embarrassed to ask like that.

"It's okay, dear. It took a long time for me too," 'a lifetime' i added in my heart as I closed my eyes. Why did I never feel that he was just 10 when he had lost his mother?

"Killian, if you want to talk about your mother or want to share her photographs I am here." I offered, hoping he could share all the pain he had in his heart.

He looked at me surprised but then shook his head, "I don't have any portrait left of my mother, your highness." his voice was wet, I could feel he was trying his best to control his tears.

"Why, where did it go?'' I asked, as my brows furrowed. Come to think of it, I had never seen a single portrait of Elizabeth in my two lifetimes.

I had never noticed it because I never cared about it, but it's very strange.

"Father took it when I was hospitalized, he said it's not good for my health to remember her." oh, all that was new to me. 

"Why were you hospitalised, dear?" I asked embarrassedly, here I was claiming to be his mother and I did not even know the basic information about him.

"My mother used to spend every evening with me after work, one day she didn't come. I was worried because my mother's condition was not good, those days. Her face looked pale. She always said that she was fine, but I knew she was not. Those days she often coughed while talking, and got tired easily. One day when she didn't come I went to check on her.

As I walked towards her chamber, Ian stopped me in the middle, and I later came to know that she was no more.

I fainted there but when I regained my consciousness I was alone in my chamber. All the servants went to see her for the last time. Would I be the only one who will not see his mother?

No, I could not let that happen. So, I took the antique from the table nearby and threw it to the windows. 

The glass shattered and fell on the ground. I walked towards the window to go out when I felt sudden pain in my foot. But I did not care anymore. I tried to jump out of it. But just when I climbed on the edge, I saw many servants were running towards me.

They must have heard the sound of the breaking of glass. I ignored them as they continued there crying and shouting.

I jumped to the other side without even caring about the pain it would bring.

I fell badly, but I still stood up mustering all my courage. My legs felt like hell, but that was not the time to care. I know I had very little time left. 

But I was still late. When I reached there, my mother was already gone. 

After a while I lost consciousness again due to heavy blood loss.

when I woke up again. This time I was not in my chamber. But at the hospital.

Many wires were attached to my body and a syringe was there in my hand. A bottle was there attached as it dropped the liquid that was slowly entering my body.

I was later told my emotions are not in control and my leg is badly damaged by the shards of glass. So i stayed there for a few weeks. When i came back, all the portraits of my mother were gone, father told me it was to keep me away from the trauma, since then i never saw my mother." though he informed me in a monotonous voice, I could feel the pain behind it.

He must have faced a lot.

I hugged him again. "It's alright, Killian, if you want to see your mother, you can tell me, i will arrange a portrait for you." I offered as I did not find anything good in it, he may have a weak heart at that time, but his wounds were filled now.

And as a child, he had the right to see and know about his mother.

"But why would you do that, aren't you trying to take her place?" his words were cold. And I felt my cheeks burn. Of course I was trying to do that, and also to save my own life.

But now that I am dwelling into it, I realise it was a much deeper path than I had thought.

"I am trying to find a place in your heart, Killian, who said you can't have two mothers?"