Chapter 173 - It's Not A Dream

"We did everything we can, and although the patient was rushed in here immediately, her brain was severely hemorrhaging. Her body had survived other fatal injuries, but... the patient will most likely be brain dead." The doctor relayed the news with a heavy heart, glancing at them apologetically. "I'm sorry, Mister Qin."

Lewis staggered back while holding his head. The doctor's words repeated in his mind like a broken record until his thoughts went blank.

"No way..." Bella gasped in disbelief, taking a step forward to the doctor. She clutched his scrub without care, shaking her head stubbornly. 

"She can't be dead. No, why... aren't you the best doctors in the country? Isn't this hospital the best? How can you say she's brain dead? That's just another word for she's dead!"

The doctor frowned, but Bella's questions did not offend him. He understood the grief of the patient's family and friends, and relaying this news was something he wouldn't get used to.

"I'm really sorry," the Doctor humbled with a bow, but Bella's grip tightened as her eyes sharpened with tears forming on its corner. 

"What sorry are you talking about...? You are not sorry. If only you are, you --"

"Bella," Dion called while holding her shoulder, eyes full of bitterness and angst. "They are doctors, not Gods. Please."

Bella's breath hitched as she gazed up at Dion helplessly. Her grip on the doctor loosened, breaking down as soon as she saw the helplessness in his eyes. She knew she was being unreasonable; Bella wasn't dumb to think that doctors could save everyone. However, Devon was her precious friend. 

But then, Devon was also Lewis's lover and Dion's precious sister-in-law. 

"Thank you, Doctor," she heard Derek's calm voice, making her turn to him. 

"We will transfer Miss Lin to the ICU..." Since the only one who had kept his composure about this news was Derek, the doctor talked to Derek. The latter thanked the doctor for his hard work before he left them to grieve.

When the doctor left, silence descended on them. Not a single one of them spoke a word, nor did they look at each other. If not for Bella's sniff, it would be total silence. 

Even so, the silence stood as their silent screams of the paralyzing agony the news brought to them. They didn't accept it, they couldn't. Just an hour ago, she was with them. How could they accept she was dead? In a snap of a finger?

Surely, life was full of surprises, and life was short — too short, if they may add. We wouldn't know what was coming and had taken the everyday miracle of waking up for granted. They hadn't realized that until now; how life was so precious, how they wished for another miracle, that this... that everything was just a nightmare they could all wake up from.

THUD!

"Brother!" Dion yelled when Lewis suddenly collapsed. They rushed to him, seeing that Lewis blinked weakly before shutting them close. 

******

Morning came and Lewis weakly opened his eyes. The sound of the heart monitor immediately caressed his ears, blinking until his vision grew clearer. 

A grunt escaped his lips as he looked around. Dion had fallen asleep on the chair beside him, head on top of his arms that were on the edge of the bed. Lewis's eyes softened as he raised his hand and ruffled his brother's hair. 

He then looked around the spacious hospital room. Rio and Ansel were sleeping on the couch; the former slept silently on his side with his arms crossed while Ansel occupied most part of it. It seemed they had fallen asleep without their knowledge. 

'It's not a dream,' he thought, averting his eyes towards the ceiling. Even though he didn't know what happen, he already guessed why he was lying on the hospital bed. 

Lewis swallowed down the tension in his throat. His chest moved in and out heavily, hearing his heart rate race a little. 

'It's not a dream...' he repeated internally as tears rolled down his temple. 'She...'

Even in his mind, he couldn't continue his sentence. He didn't want to. How could he? Saying 'she was dead', was akin to pushing the self-destruction button. It would break the already broken him. 

The pain while denying it was already... indescribable. 

He couldn't even think of tomorrow anymore. Imagining a day without her or just the fact that he would never get to see her again... was painful. No, painful was an understatement. It was devastating. Lewis knew he wouldn't move on, nor will he ever accept this. 

"How... can I live... without her?" he choked, closing his eyes as tears pooled behind his eyelids. He covered them with his arm, trying to muffle his cries so as not to wake up his brothers. 

In silence, he bawled his eyes and let his heart fall apart until he couldn't move a muscle. He wished, deep in his heart, that she would embrace him right now. That he would go back to those days when they were happy.

Those days where she would be there for him, smiling brightly. Those days where he would close his eyes, hearing her footsteps and creating a mess. He wished to see her alive and well, to hear her call his name sweetly, to blush and smile, to look at him lovingly, and to just... be there.

He missed her already. 

"I can't... let her go."

While Lewis grieved in silence, he didn't notice that Dion was clutching the sheet as his back trembled. He woke up when he heard Lewis's heart rate go up. However, he heard his brother's cry, so he pretended he was still asleep. 

'Ge...' Dion's jaw tightened as tears rolled across his nose bridge. 'Sis...'

[ "Sis, do you really love me? 

"Yes. I love you." ]

Just then, Dion recalled how Devon was to him. She was sensitive at first, but she was patient and lovely and just wonderful. She was a very kind person, a sister he was grateful to have who would verbally tell him she loved him, and her existence in this world just made it a better place. 

So... why would God take her?

Was it because she was akin to an angel? Did God regret sending her to Earth, so he took her back immediately? There were a plethora of questions that hovered over his head, but one thing stood out.

Why her? 

Surely, this question would never be answered. Even if someone answered him right now, Dion wouldn't understand. There was no amount of logical explanation that would make him understand why Devon deserve to die. 

Their pain for this loss would last for a lifetime. It would never be the same for everyone who knew her. The only thing that would remain constant would be... they would miss her absence and continue to hope she was there with them.

And that was for sure. 

*******

Once the sun rose, Derek arrived early in the morning. Lewis was already sitting up with his back resting on the headboard. Dion had fallen asleep while crying, while Rio and Ansel were still asleep. 

"Young Master, the doctor said you need to rest," Derek spoke with genuine concern in his voice, standing on the side of the bed. He studied Lewis's face. It was pale and his eyes were red as if he just cried.

"I wish I didn't love her so much, Derek," Lewis murmured lifelessly with eyes drooping. "If only I didn't become greedy like how I was, she would be alright."

His hand clasped the sheet covering his lap as he took a deep breath. "She shouldn't have met me and I shouldn't have clung to her. We should've stayed far away from each other. If only I stopped myself, this wouldn't happen."

"Young Master, this is not your fault. You did everything; you went above and beyond for Miss Lin."

"And yet, where is she?" Lewis slowly set his lifeless eyes on Derek. "Somewhere in this building, breathing through life support. That is not the life I want for her, Derek."

Derek pressed his lips together and hung his head low. "I'm sorry."

Lewis just let out a scoff while running his fingers through his hair. He wanted to ask Derek why he was sorry, but he didn't actually care. Even if this world apologized and bow down to his feet, he wouldn't forgive it unless they bring her back to him.

"How was he?" he inquired after some time of silence. "Julian. How was he?"

Derek raised his head and answered hesitatingly. "The surgery was successful, but he is still unconscious."

"I see." Lewis nodded in understanding, averting his eyes away. "Make sure he recovers well. Make sure he receives the best medical treatment, so he recovers quickly and well."

"Young Master…"

"I need him alive, Derek. I need him to be in his best form…" in a quiet voice, he made his order clearly heard.. "… so I can kill him slowly with my own hands."