Chapter 184 - Please Do No Cry

"Can you tell me what happened?" 

Devon cocked her head in Lewis's direction. The latter was zoning out but still veered his eyes towards her. Lewis nodded slightly, clearing his throat as he detailed what happened from start to finish. She listened carefully, eyes fixed on the ceiling, as she could imagine everything.

"I should kill him," she mumbled coldly with her eyes glinting with malicious intent. "That damn bastard... he is the fucking reason I am back in this damn body. I will kill him with my own hands."

Right now, she had murdered Julian in twenty different ways in her mind already. She could imagine what that Princess felt during that time. After all, Devon had witnessed how scared she was back when she was recalling her traumatic past in the hands of her brother. 

If only she had enough strength right now, she would drag herself to wherever Quentin was at and choke him to death. With the fury enveloping her heart, Devon would surely do it to avenge the Princess and herself. 

"How dare he..."

"What are you two talking about?" 

Suddenly, Dion finally found his voice to speak. He darted his eyes from Devon to Lewis, furrowing his brows as he didn't understand a word from their discussion. Lewis was speaking to Devon like... she was someone else. Devon as well. It was as if they weren't lovers and just someone who knew each other.

His question finally made Lewis realize that Quentin and Dion were still here. "Dion, can you go home tonight?"

"He should stay," Devon muttered lazily. "It's not every day that I get to be blessed by the presence of a celebrity. I want to ask for his autograph too."

"Sis, what are you..."

"Is it true?" Dion trailed off as Quentin suddenly spoke up. "What Julian said... is it true?"

"I don't know what that fucker said, but whatever it is, probably. He's too crazy to lie." Devon, who had completely recovered her voice, albeit still sounded coarse and weak. "I died by choice. A princess or empress from another world took over my body because of this cycle of life, and I became a wandering, happy ghost after that."

"So it's not a hallucination?" asked Quentin once again, making her quirk a brow and gaze at him. "Is that you?"

"I guess I am busted now, am I?" 

"Dev."

"Ken, that means nothing. I was bored and you can see and talk to me when you are drunk, so that's that." Devon shrugged indifferently, peeling her eyes away from him. "You should leave, Ken. This situation just puts me in an awkward position."

Quentin's jaw tightened as he clutched his hand into a tight fist. What she was trying to say was impossible, but there was no way Devon would know that he was 'seeing' her whenever he was intoxicated. It may sound ridiculous, but there was no other explanation for that. 

"You want me to leave when you... you died by choice?" came out a scoff, staring at her in dismay. "Dev..."

"Mister De Luca, please." Lewis took a deep breath and stared at Quentin. "This is not the right time for --"

"Then, when? I respected you and her because I knew you loved each other. But... this Devon right now is not that person, Mister Qin. How can I... leave?"

"Ken." Devon looked at him straight in the eye and shook her head. "Why are you always so stubborn? You were shot, for Pete's sake. You should rest until you recover completely. Just when will you ever listen to me?"

Quentin halted as he held his breath, staring back at her as if she did her wrong. "Dev. I should be the one asking that. Just when will you ever listen to me? Just once, Dev. Just... once."

There was a moment of silence in the room. Her chest moved in and out heavily, biting her tongue from giving in to him. 

"Go," she muttered while looking away. "This body... and the name Lin Devon, is already a married woman. It's not really nice when my husband is right in front of you."

"Dev," Quentin ground his teeth as he glared at Lewis. The latter just looked away out of guilt. Seeing that she was adamant about sending him away, Quentin snorted before he assisted himself out. 

When he left, Devon glanced at the door once again. Her eyes softened, aware that this would've hurt Quentin even more.

"Why is he even here?" she wondered in a low tone. "He is just hurting himself. Even if I'm not the person who woke up in this body, he will get hurt either way."

"Aren't you also in pain?" Devon slowly turned her attention back to Lewis. "It seemed he is really important to you."

"You are quite calm to say those words to your wife."

A bitter smile appeared on his lips. He slowly slipped his hand and held hers lightly.

"Strange," he muttered bitterly, gazing up at her. "It's the same hand, but it feels... different."

Instead of relief, holding her hand right now just felt like someone stabbing him right through his chest. This... almost felt like he had truly lost her. Although she was staring back at him, the pain in his heart was just growing unbearable. 

"Is that so?" she glanced at their hands and squeezed them lightly. "I'm sorry, Qin Lewis."

Lewis sandwiched her hand with his, resting his forehead against it. Devon, being in a coma, was already too much for him. But now that she was awake, the pain just heightened. 

They kept quiet for a very long time, with Dion just staring at them in bafflement. Lewis shed tears in silence while Devon let him hold her hand. She was aware of how this man loved Her, and how that Princess loved him just as intensely. This was the least she could for them. 

Devon slowly peeled her eyes away from him and looked at the ceiling once again. She couldn't help but wonder where that Princess went. Was she floating around here? If she was, Devon could already imagine the Princess bawling her eyes, seeing Lewis suffer. 

'I really don't know why I am dragged back into this body,' she uttered internally, letting out a sigh. 'Why did this happen...? Just what the hell is going on here? In my current state, I can't meet Kween.'

A lot of questions hovered over her head. Devon might be crazy for thinking about how to get out of this body, but that had been always her goal. Coming back in here just brought pain to many people, after all.

'Gosh... the only good thing I did in this world is to give that woman this body and life. But I just had to come back after a major accident.' Devon's jaw tightened as she felt her eyes grow heavy. 

"Why am I so useless and pathetic?" came out a whisper before succumbing to the peaceful darkness. 

******

When Devon fell asleep once again, Lewis still held her hand and looked at her blankly. This woman he was staring at was the woman he loved. And yet, looking at her right now just brought pain to his heart.

"Ge, what is going on here?" Dion finally broke his silence once again, still mind-boggled at what he had seen and heard. "Why does she talk like that?"

What answered Dion was nothing but silence. Lewis's mind was already flying elsewhere. Hence, Dion held his tongue and refrained from wasting his saliva. He would just ask once Devon wasn't high in drugs and when Lewis had gathered his thoughts. 

'This is... crazy.' Dion thought before leaning back until he unconsciously fell asleep. 

When Dion fell asleep, Lewis was still awake. He kept quiet while caressing her hand with his thumb gently. He didn't want to believe it. There was this little part of him that wanted to believe she would come back to him once she wake up again. 

"I know this sounds selfish and unfair to you," he muttered while staring at her bitterly. "Actually, it is selfish and unfair but... I missed her so much. Why... did you wake up in this body?"

Surely, it was hard to decide between what was right and what made one happy. The soul inside this body was the original Devon. She had all the rights to claim this body and her life. However, the soul that he yearned for and loved wasn't this person. 

"Why... are we all suffering?" he whispered while burying his face in her hand. "Why, Dev? Why?"

While Lewis was weeping in silence, someone who wasn't seen by them sat on the edge of the bed. Her beautiful cerulean eyes were full of pain and bitterness, reaching her hand to him, but to no avail. 

"My love," she whispered with a shaking voice. "Please do not cry. I am here... I've always been here with you."

She walked to his back, wrapping her slim arms around him. She couldn't feel his warmth, nor he could feel hers. But she could feel his angst, longing, and the desperation he was holding in. 

"I'm so sorry." Her eyes softened with regret, blaming herself for giving him pain. "I want to regret loving you and putting you in this misery, but I can't, Lu. This may sound selfish too, but.... I don't regret loving you, my husband."