Chapter 188 - Struggles

Days, weeks, and a month had passed since Devon got discharged from the hospital. She had been going back and forth to the hospital for her regular check-ups and therapy. She was still on medications, which she was taking regularly and on time under Dion's supervision. 

Life... had been peaceful for them. 

They were all trying to move forward and heal the pain in their hearts. Since Devon had been staying in the old Qin residence, she had grown closer with Lewis's other brothers. They were kind to her and considerate.

"Gosh... look at Rio. He is sulking once again. Did you break up with your fiance or what?" Devon spat out, gazing at Rio, who was sitting on a chair from across the table in the dining room. 

"I'm not sulking!" Rio denied defensively, but she clicked her tongue.

"Don't deny it. We can feel your negativity even if I'm at the end of this house."

"Fourth brother, we confirm your relationship with your fiance is toxic," Kai commented while forking out a piece of a pea on his plate. "How can you guys break up on a weekly basis? I mean, if it's like this even before you tie the knot, then what more if you did?"

"A relationship advice coming from you isn't relevant, Kai." Rio scoffed. The nerve of this fifth brother of his to give him love advice when he hasn't been in a serious relationship. 

"You know what? I think your karma is being directed to my relationship. Stop changing girlfriends like their clothes!" 

"Changing girlfriends is better than cheating." Kai shrugged nonchalantly while Devon shook her head while watching the two argue.

"What a bunch of hopeless kids..." Dion murmured in disbelief, staring at his younger brothers in dismay. "Aren't you two ashamed of our sister-in-law and Ansel?"

"One is a womanizer, and the other is a pushover," Ansel muttered, as he didn't even want to look at his older brothers. "I'm embarrassed."

"What?! I am more embarrassed that you reach this age as a virgin!" Kai spat out, making Ansel glare daggers at him.

"Who said I am a virgin?"

"What? Are you not?!" 

"Gosh... even if he is a virgin or not, there's nothing to be ashamed about." Devon clicked her tongue continuously. "Kai, you're a loser."

"Sis, what the --"

"A loser, yes." Rio nodded in agreement, followed by Dion. 

"No doubt. He's the lowest of the low." 

Ansel snickered as he raised his chin up. "Scum."

Kai looked at them in disbelief, seeing them look back at him with disdain. "What the... no one is on my side?"

"Even the devil will be very disappointed in you." Devon sighed, suppressing herself from bursting out into laughter. Kai had been very proud of his women's endeavors that he made her want to bury him alive. He was the only Qin who actually lived a wild life of an elite.

Dion, although known as the bad boy in the entertainment industry, he actually took relationships seriously. Although he was single by choice right now. Rio, on the other hand, was too loyal and faithful Kai would always mock him. Ansel was too busy with his study to become a doctor, and he never opened up about those things. 

Meanwhile, Kai... although he was successful in his agency and produced brilliant talents, his reputation often gets dragged by scandals. Even if there was truth in it or not, no one really cared, as he was a famous Casanova. He was someone no one would ever want to meet in this lifetime. 

"So disappointing," Devon stressed as he put down her cutlery and wiped the corner of her lips. 

"Sis, are you done?" Dion asked as he also placed down his fork. "Do you want me to help you to your room? Or do you want to go to the garden for some air?"

Devon waved as she drank water. "No need. I'll go on my own. Eat well."

"Oh, alright." Dion watched her wheel herself away from the dining hall. Since Devon wanted to be a bit independent, Dion respected she wanted to do these things with no one's help.

"Brother, you are too worried about sister-in-law." Rio pointed out while staring at Dion. "She will be fine. Worrying too much is also a burden to the other person, you know?"

Meanwhile, Kai was strangely quiet, as he was also looking in the direction where she left. "I should bring her to the agency someday and we will roast everyone if that will make her feel better."

"Fifth brother, is that the best you can offer?" asked Ansel as he felt like losing brain cells every time Kai spoke. 

They continued eating dinner, with Kai arguing with Ansel. Sometimes they would drag Rio on the subject, but Dion remained quiet. He was worried about Devon for a reason. Dion spent most of the time with her, so sometimes, he would catch her staring blankly at nothingness and glimpse at the emptiness in her eyes. 

That worried him, but he didn't want to pressure her. So, he doesn't ask.

'Sis... I hope she's alright every time she's alone.' 

*****

Meanwhile, when Devon reached her room and shut the door behind, she looked around. This room had been hers and Lewis. It was spacious and its interior was pleasing to the eye, fitting for someone like Lewis. 

"So silent," she whispered, gripping the armrest of her wheelchair as her jaw tightened. This had been her problem on a day-to-day basis. She would smile, laugh, and even join in the fun with the Qin Brothers. 

However... once she was alone, there was nothing left in her. She just felt empty.

"I've been trying, Qin Lewis," she whispered, gazing down at her legs. "I don't want to walk again." — because these healing legs were keeping her alive. 

She was trying and had been fighting, but it was hard for her to find a real reason. Her thoughts were eating her slowly. She tried to see a specialist because Lewis recommended she should see one for her mental health. It helped a bit. But an outsource help wouldn't do much to help if she herself couldn't help herself.

"I want to die...." came out a dead whisper as she stayed there for a long time.