Chapter 237 - ALREADY DID

Yanarym's the type of woman that is hard to get and much more difficult to keep. He was constantly challenged, and she was too spontaneous to become boring. Maybe that's the reason Lawrence cherished her the most. Out of everyone in his world, she was the most precious person to him. 

Before, a week in a relationship was too long for him, but a year with her was not enough. There are more moments he wanted to be with her, more memories… he isn't ready for goodbye. 

Lawrence deepened the kiss and held her closer but a sob made him freeze. He felt his cheeks soaked by her tears. When he opened his eyes, he saw her crying silently. He gaped at her, she was a strong woman, she rarely cried, so why is she crying? His kiss was not brutal, it's not even forceful. 

"Rym?" He called her and cupped her face. She didn't look at him, instead, she hugged him tightly, hiding her face on his chest. "Why are you crying? Did I bully you?"

"Sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered while sobbing with that, the tears he's been holding streamed on his cheeks. "Law… please let's stop." He took a deep breath and looked up, preventing his eyes from shedding tears. But he can't stop them from falling. 

"Y-you're so cruel." He laughed as his voice cracked, "You're such a bad woman. I've been very good to you, you know. I behaved and followed your every command. I-I c-can does b-better, Rym. I can be better. Please don't b-break us up."

"L-lawrence," 

"You're the first woman I love and I don't think I can love someone as I am loving you Rym. Don't become the first woman who breaks me." 

"B-but I already did. That's why we're both crying right now." She stuttered, "S-sorry..." Lawrence made a gap between their bodies and held her chin. He smiled and wiped her tears away. 

"Ssshh, it's alright, you can stop crying. I can't bear to hear you this sad, hmm? Stop." He peered at her eyes and her nose, cheeks and eyes were red. 

Although his heart was breaking because of her, she's too adorable to get mad at. He coaxed her, which was funny because he was the one who was supposed to be crying because of a broken heart. 

When she fell asleep, he watched her slumber. He couldn't sleep, knowing that tomorrow, she'll leave his side. Could he take it? Can he let her go? He wasn't sure, but hearing her sobs earlier made him less selfish. Maybe he's truly in love with her. 

If not, how could he choose her happiness over his? He knew he wouldn't have a second thought… no matter how hard it is for her. 

If he was the old him, he wouldn't give her up, because he did everything he could to please her, he gave her everything she wanted. It would only be fair for him to have her all by himself. 

Yet... Yet... He became someone he couldn't recognize. 

It's cringy that he's feeling this. He loves her so much that he had to set her free. How fucked up was that. Since he couldn't sleep at all, he stood up and went to the kitchen to have some drinks. 

From glass to another glass up to a bottle of whiskey, he's exhausted but he can't sleep. He's having flashbacks about when he first saw her, how they talked, how they met, when did he begin falling in love. When was the time he started to be scared? When was the time he started to change?

He laughed soullessly. If he could turn back time, he would love her more than he did, he would please her more than he did, serve her more, and spend more time with her. If he only knew that their time is this short. He wanted to fight, he doesn't want to give up but what for? 

Ever since Movu came back, she has changed a lot. Her usual caring and tender affection for him was shifted to that man. 

He knew Yanarym tried her best not to neglect him but whenever Movu was around, she would subconsciously pay attention to Movu, forgetting about his existence. He had the perception that his chance to give her happiness had passed him by. Almost as though it is time to return her to her person.

Lawrence smirked, he could still remember the time when he said that he would only play with her. Back then, he thought that if he already tasted her and had enough of her, then it's over. 

He also thought that he would make another pretty woman cry but guess what? He's the one who's grieving. Is it karma? For all the girls he'd hurt before? For those fragile hearts, he broke? He could hear those women's voices screaming in his ear. That one day, he would taste his own medicine, and he does. This might be it. 

He stared at the empty whiskey bottle, "If I could turn back time, I want to say that I would go far far away from you… but I think, I really could turn back time. I will love you more than I do now. Because I am loving you every single day..." He murmured and chuckled. 

"Every fucking day, this feeling for you is getting stronger. Fuck, I don't want to let you go ...if I could make you stay..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as his world started to spin around. 

He stood up and stumbled back to their room. As soon as he saw her sleeping soundly, thoughts raged from his mind. 

He wanted to assault her while she's asleep. That if her first was taken by him she won't leave him. If he's lucky, she could be pregnant from his seed. If she got pregnant, she won't think of leaving him anymore.. She will marry him.