Chapter 61

A pair of golden wings on a white background. Ashite looked at the embroidery vacantly. She put it under the light and looked through it. The thick part of the white handkerchief was lighting up with the golden threads under the lights. It looked pretty good.

She felt like this was not enough as a gift, but she thought it was the best she could do — it would be hilarious if she could not prepare a gift because she just spent time thinking about it.

The ball for the king was just around the corner. Ashite had been thinking for a while then decided to start with the embroidery. She thought about doing flower arrangements, too, though they wouldn’t be as good as any other gifts. She also considered handing it to him personally, rather than giving it to him during the official ball. She could even give it to him at his office, where she met him every evening.

Frankly, she wanted to get her own supplies for the gift, but she decided to give that up. She did not know anything outside of the palace. She didn’t know where to get good quality products, either. She could ask a servant or Yeref to go with her, but then the king would notice that right away. She’d been telling the servants to keep it down about the gift she’d been preparing, and if she went out, he would figure everything out.

So, she asked one of her servants quietly. A young servant got her the soft handkerchief and luxurious threads. The servant also got her a good vase, too. It was white and elegant with no patterns. She also asked the gardeners of the palace to get her some flowers. A middle-aged man with a smile quickly trimmed the good flowers for her. Even though the weather was getting cold, the sunlight was still warm and there was warmth in the wind. It made the flowers look as if it were spring and they were in bloom.

Ashite did not do embroidery or flower arrangements that often, so she wasn’t so talented at them. However, she still hoped that he would like it. She would be content if he left the vase with the flowers by the corner of the desk in his office, or he used the handkerchief once in a while.

As the king of this country, he looked good with the gold, and he was elegant and polite as the color white. So, without hesitation, she asked for a white handkerchief and white vase.

As the supplies were ready, Ashite started to embroider on the white background with the golden thread right away. After she received the flowers, she surrounded the edge of the vase with the white small flowers and put yellow flowers in the middle. Clearly, the color that fit the most with him was red. So, on the empty spots, she put red, orange, and pink flowers. The colors flowing from the bud looked like a sheet of lace. It was attractive to see the flowers changing its color depending on the lights from daytime to nighttime.

After she was almost finished with the flower arrangements, she thought about what she would like to do for the corners of the handkerchief. White, gold, red — she started to draw his face in her mind. Tanned skin, dark eyebrows, sharp nose, red lips, purple hair with a hint of blue… lots of colors were floating inside of her head.

At the moment, she noticed one color. Purple. She wanted to use light purple. Ashite looked through the sets of threads. She looked for the one that wasn’t too light or too dark. She wanted something soft. Once she finally found one, she smiled. She professionally put the thread through the needle. Then she started to hum and embroider.

And the evening on the same day, in the king’s office:

“…but Lobeth II took the count’s will and started the meeting at the Moinster’s.”

“I see. And the place is?”

“Ottoi Salkiere. That will be the office of Moinster’s. The major conference room was named after the count. And the meeting that will be held regularly is also named after the room, too.”

Lu Havre gently smiled. Lu Havre stood up from the chair that he’s been sitting down on. Ashite raised her head more. The king was approaching her. Ashite took a breath without her realizing.

“Ashite.”

“Yes?”

“Do you know the phrase of the poem that’s embedded on the door?”

She clearly knew.

“Yes. It’s ‘Haias Pohe Nabere Lahochoi Bientanya’. It’s a poem from ancient times. Although the author is unknown, it is well known and Moinster would occasionally read it.”

“And the meaning?”

“It’s translated as ‘condolences to those who passed away, prayers for those living.'”

Lu Havre was standing right in front of Ashite. Ashite wished her voice would not shake. After Ashite finished what she was saying and was about to stand up, Lu Havre sat right next to her.

“Ashite.”

The man’s red cape and the young lady’s shoulder touched each other. The dress and the pants also touched each other. From the shoulders to the thighs and to the knees, they were touching. She could feel the warmth of the skin through the fabrics. His breath was close.

Her face quickly blushed. Ashite was embarrassed thinking about how her blushed cheeks would be shown to him.

He was this close to her last time and during Menang, too. However, it was because of the dance during Menang, and the last time was because of the marriage topic. And both of them were because he was trying to wipe her tears down.

She remembered that they kissed. Ashite suddenly raised her hand and swept through her lips unintentionally. Then she realized what she has done.

“Ahh…”

Realizing what she had done, Ashite opened her eyes wide open. Lu Havre did not say anything. He just moved closer to her. He was so close to her.

Ashite blinked. Her heart was beating faster than usual. She was scared that he would be able to hear this sound. Thinking of that made her heart beat even faster. She felt like she was out of breath.

In fact, after the night, there wasn’t much changed. They knew their intentions, they were sure about the marriage, and the daily life began. They had meals together most of the time, and he would help her studying once in a while when they were in the king’s office together. That was it. They weren’t holding each other’s hands or standing close to each other.

He was still gentle. The red eyes would always check on her. The low toned voice would always echo in her ears. Just the fact that they are in the same space made her nervous, but she tried to act normal, as he seemed normal.

So even now, Ashite was trying to act like nothing happened. Just like how he was doing, she looked at him, too. The office was bright. Under the light, the tanned face was more vibrant — the most vibrant of all was the red eyes. The bizarre and mysterious eyes were only filled with her. They were shaking with various emotions inside.

The emotions that she could not notice were coming up on her and made her blush again. The face that she was looking at was more vibrant than what she had imagined, and it made her feelings deeper and deeper as she looked at him more.

She realized that she never looked at his face this well because she’d been crying every time he was this close to her. Back then, she could not focus on embarrassing emotions that she was feeling or her heart that was beating fast. One thing she remembered, however, was the warmth from the hand that was wiping the tears off of her.

The eyes. Purple hair with a hint of blue was waving across his face. She noticed a small scar next to the red eyes. He was too close. Ashite blinked her eyes slowly again. It was a thin mark. She wondered when, where, and from what he got the scar from. Was it from the war? Ashite raised her arm slowly.

She wouldn’t do this usually. She would not act this unintentionally. She would usually try to control her embarrassing emotions. But today was not a usual day. She couldn’t remember what was usual for her anymore. By the time Ashite’s hand was about to touch Lu Havre’s cheeks —

“…Ashite.”

— Lu Havre wrapped her wrist gently. His eyes were smiling.

“Wait.”

Lu Havre gently kissed Ashite’s forehead.

“I have something to say.”

The lips touched the forehead again. They felt warm.

“So.” Once again, this time the lips stayed on the forehead.

“…Wait…”

“Ahh…”

This time Lu Havre kissed her nose. Ashite closed her eyes. He felt so close. The breath was hot. She had to control her emotions.

His lips reached her lips. Lu Havre wrapped Ashite’s shoulder slightly. This time, he kissed her lips as he brushed down her hair.

As her shoulders were shivering, Ashite put her hand on Lu Havre’s shoulder.

“…Ashite.”

After a long kiss, the low voice that was calling her name was a bit locked.

Then Ashite realized. He was also pretending to act normal just like her since the last time — or since he had feelings for her.

It was a weird realization. She thought he was a king who is always confident and never embarrassed. Although she barely realized his feelings a bit ago, she did not know that he could hide his feelings this well. She finally realized it now. She would always be nervous every time she saw him.

“That phrase from the poem…”

Once she noticed him and his feelings, Ashite smiled.

“…is also the other name of the war.”

Then Ashite figured out why Lu Havre talked about the phrase that was embedded on the door of Moinster’s office. There were several names of the war that ended last year: the Second Great War between Skara and Monterobis, the 30-year war, the Second Great War, or Haias war.

Ashite nodded with her cheeks still flushed.

“…Ashite.”

Lu Havre tapped Ashite’s shoulder gently like he was caressing it. He whispered close to her forehead.

“It’s already been a year since the war.”

Lu Havre seemed to find the right words for him.

“I’ve been delaying my marriage with the excuse of the war.” And Lu Havre gently hugged Ashite. Soon he stepped back a bit to look into her eyes. “But before this year passes by…”

Ashite tried her best. She tried her best to not look away from him. She was so embarrassed that she felt like she would turn her head away from him at any time.

“…I would like to have the wedding with you, Ashite.”

Her cheeks blushed again. She felt the warmth on her face.

“Ashite, do you know the ball that is happening in a few days?”

“Yes, I know it’s a ball to celebrate your birthday, Your Majesty.”

Lu Havre laughed playfully. Ashite got more nervous especially when she mentioned his birthday. She knew that the ball was just around the corner. That was why she was overthinking about what to write in a letter to Lante. She was almost ready with the embroidery and vase with flowers, too.

“I am going to declare my marriage with you during that ball.”

***

Lativasa abruptly closed the curtain by the windows. The room wasn’t that big, so there were only two windows. Suddenly darkness filled in the room. It felt comfortable. Lativasa slowly breathed.

Then she scorned herself lightly. She hadn’t left the palace since the last incident; she thought it was better to be in the darkness than getting the sunlight through the window because she wouldn’t go outside anyway. She found herself being such a fool. She accepted that the days when she was getting the spotlight from everywhere were gone.

It was obvious that she did not like the busy morning of everyone getting ready for the king’s birthday ball. The words were spread even all the way to the smallest part of the palace. She tried to block them by closing the windows and curtains. As if someone were laughing at her doing so, the atmosphere of the whole palace was weird, too. It seemed like her servants are hoping that she would attend the ball, too. She knew that once you get the taste of the luxury, you would only chase for it — the less you had, the more desperate you became.

However, the owners of this part of the palace were far from being in the spotlight now. They were exhausted. They were not even aware of how ill and depressed they were. One of them was going back and forth between the past and present suffering from mental illness. It became the daily task of the other one to take care of her. Most of the time, Lativasa would check on her right when she woke up. This morning when Lativasa saw her, Passau was knitting just like a little child, humming an unknown song.

“Your Highness.”

“…”

“Your Highness, what would you like to do?”

“…”

“Your Highness, please let us know.”

So, Lativasa had to speak on behalf of both herself and Passau to the impolite servant that was hurrying her.

“We are not going.”

“…pardon?”

She didn’t even want to point out her servant’s attitude anymore. She wanted to tell her what she had done, make her kneel down and punish her, but Lativasa could not do it. She’s done it too many times now. It did not help that she lost her power.

“I said, we are not going.”

Lativasa glared at her servant. The lady standing in front of the closed curtain was still elegant, even in the dark room.

“Then what should I tell the king—”

“Tell the king…”

“Pardon?”

“Birthday. I hope he has a great one.”

She spat out the words as if she’d been chewing them for a while inside of her. She did not have any facial expression in her, as if she could not feel anything. The servant frowned for a bit, then nodded. The servant expected this to happen. Someone might say that this was odd, but the servant did not think it was strange at all. It happened all the time here.