Chapter 50 - Pride

Yul decided to meet his parents and tell them everything. They were the most important people of his life. He might know that it could be unexpected for them but he wanted them to know.

Zeng had offered to come along but Yul refused since he wanted to do this alone and Zeng respected his decision. Coming out to your family was an important part of one's life and if Yul wanted it to be between just them, it was his right. Zeng wished him the best when Yul left their place that fateful day.

It would be a lie to say that Yul was not scared. He knew his parents loved him but so far they had been loving the son they presumed to know. There was more to him now. It shouldn't change anything between them. After all, what did the gender of a person he loved had to do anything with his love for his parents? It certainly shouldn't be a deciding factor. His parents wouldn't hate him for being himself, right?

However, his parents' reaction wasn't what he had expected in the least. His mother had clasped a hand to her mouth. She didn't know what to think of it while his father sat motionless, in utter shock. The son who had been his pride all these years, who was his shadow, his happiness, his joy and the apple of his eyes, the same son wasn't what he assumed him to be. Gay? His son? Not in a million years! Those people can do whatever they want outside in the world but not his family, not his son, not his innocent child!

Yul had been straightforward to his parents and his parents were equally vocal about their disgust towards it, or at least one of them was.

"You are not like that," his father seethed through clenched teeth, "You are my son! You cannot be like that!" Yul never expected his father's outrage. Mr Wang had never raised his voice against his son, had never hit him, never felt the need to discipline him or criticize his choices. Yul was his perfect son until somebody came along and tarnished him. An image flashed in front of his eyes of the doctor whom they met on Yul's graduation day. The way he was looking at Yul… Mr Wang did not associate a deeper meaning behind it. He should have known. He should have known it was a vulgar attempt to seduce his son to come to their side.

"It's all because of that boy," Mr Wang spoke with venom seeping through his voice, "He is trying to manipulate you into thinking you are like… like that." Mr Wang hesitated to even say the word.

Instant rage filled Yul. "Zeng ge didn't do anything, dad. He has nothing to do with it. I had always been like this. It's only recently that I have come to terms with it and accepted myself."

"You are not being yourself," Mr Wang cut him. He had his own opinions and beliefs and was sticking with them no matter what Yul said, "You liked women, you even had a girlfriend. That was the real you. Right now you are just a product of someone's twisted manipulations."

Yul closed his eyes in frustration. Why couldn't they just accept him for who he was?

"Honey, please calm down," Mrs Wang urged her husband to sit down. It wasn't good for his health to stress himself. She turned to her son, "Yul-ah, what happened to you all of a sudden?" She was worried, she really was.

"It's not sudden, mom," Yul tried to make her understand, "I had felt like this for a long time but never had the courage to talk about it with anyone and just suppressed it for a temporary distraction. But it never went away. I have been like this since always."

There was mortifying silence when he finished. His mother cried and his father covered his face in his palms. The older man had witnessed a disgusting projection of someone's twisted fantasies into Yul. Clearly, Yul was just a mere child, he must have been manipulated into thinking he was like that. He wasn't, Mr Wang was sure of it. But till then, he couldn't take 'that' for a son.

"Get out," Mr Wang said, once he started breathing normally. "Don't come back until you have regained your senses."

The words cut Yul like a knife. If anything the pain was even more excruciating considering these words were coming from not only his father but also his hero. He almost had a breakdown but he didn't allow himself to fall apart, not here. Without a word, Yul picked up his bag. He couldn't stay in a place where he wasn't accepted for who he was.

"Yul, stop!" His mother caught him by the arms. "You are not going anywhere." She turned to face her husband, "Say something!" She screamed, "He is our only son. Why are you telling him to go away? Why can't we talk it out? There must be a way."

Mr Wang didn't say anything as he stared at the floor. Yul held his mother by the shoulders and wiped her tears. "There's no other way, mom. Just know that I am still your son, still the same Yul," he said, kissing her forehead. "This is who I am and I am no different from what I was yesterday or anytime before. Try to understand me and when you think you are ready to talk, I am just a call away."

He stepped away and left his home, without turning back. His heart was heavy and his mind was in chaos. It hurt him because the people who didn't accept him were not strangers but his own parents. Weren't they the ones who promised to love him? Were all the loving words mere lies? His father was proud of him for everything he did but now the pride dissolved because of what? Just because he loved a person of the same gender? Was that all it took to hate someone you had once loved?

He wasn't ashamed of who he was. He took pride in it. But it hurt to know that he could be subjected to hate because of who he was.

At this moment, he needed someone to love him. He needed a comforting hug. He wanted to hear that he was loved the way he was. He wanted to go home to his person.. He needed Zeng.