Chapter 86 - Understanding Your Happiness

Mr Wang continued, "Whatever happened between the two of you, that must be a long-term problem. It is not easy to let go of a person whom you loved more than your life. It was your decision to not be in that relationship anymore and I shouldn't meddle with it. However, I refuse to believe it was only Yul's fault." Mr Wang looked Zeng right in the eyes. They were the same as Yul's, Zeng couldn't help but feel intimidated. Mr Wang continued,

"I know my son. No matter how he behaves or appears to the world, he would always keep loving what he loved. If it was his decision to make, he would never have let you go, I am sure of that. He is cold to the entire world; he builds visible walls around him that are very hard to penetrate. However, you have invisible walls around you, Zeng. It may not be apparent but yes... you block out people if you don't want to get hurt and it's not necessarily a bad thing."

Zeng's heart thumped in fear. Every word that Mr Wang enunciated was true to its core.

"It's absolutely fine for you to protect yourself from getting hurt. I just want to say that my son loves you a lot. I may not be as expressing as his mother but it too pains me immensely to see Yul so heartbroken. I request you, please don't hurt him anymore." The man almost pleaded.

By the time, Mr Wang finished, Zeng felt extremely suffocated. The attack was fatal and he couldn't afford to lose any more than what he already had. His walls were crumbling, his defences torn apart. He shouldn't stay here. He had to get away!

"I have some work." He got up and started to leave.

"Zeng, you are not running away, are you?" Mr Wang asked in his casual tone but with a hint of sadness.

Zeng felt caught. He didn't say anything, only looked at the white walls of the hospital room. Mr Wang was on point in everything he had said and so Zeng couldn't deny the accusations. He kept silent. His back faced the other person who couldn't see the tears in the former's eyes.

"Come back soon." The older man said affectionately. This was a statement, not a question. Those simple words had more meaning to them. Zeng hesitated to take a step, but then wiped his tears and left without a reply.

Zeng kept on walking and walking. He didn't know where he was going but his feet didn't seem to stop. He wanted to run away because going back would only pain him even more.

He bumped into someone. The familiar smaller lady called his name. But Zeng refused to listen. Hurriedly muttering out a sorry, he began walking away. However, Dr Meng Zaria held his wrist, "You should look ahead while walking, Zeng."

Upon failing to elicit a response from the other man, she spoke again, "I heard about him. I was coming to see you. Were you going somewhere?"

"I don't know." Zeng's voice cracked. He wasn't in any condition to respond properly. Zaria noticed his eyes brimming with tears.

"Oh dear God," she exhaled, "Come with me." She held Zeng by the wrist and began dragging him to the canteen. Reaching there, she purchased a packed water bottle. The person behind her didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings anymore. He just kept looking down at the floor.

Zaria then dragged him to the terrace. On the way, a few staff and fellow colleagues saw the duo holding hands and walking hastily. A few gasps were also heard. There will be rumours floating around for a few days. Who cares? It never mattered to her what people would say anyways. For now, her friend's condition was more important. By the time they reached the rooftop, Zeng had already started crying.

She made him sit on the bench, took a seat beside him and opened the water bottle. Handing it over, she said, "Drink it."

Zeng's hand trembled holding the bottle. He took a sip and then another one. The water soothing his dry throat.

"What's wrong?" She asked when she felt Zeng had calmed down.

Zeng shook his head, "I don't know. I messed it up. Not only my life but his life too. I don't know what to do anymore."

He cried some more before continuing,

"I broke up with him but I am still stuck there. Why am I like this? I tried separating him from me completely but I am failing it on my part itself. What am I supposed to do?" He wiped his tears which came back again. Zaria rubbed his back in sympathy. Her friend never cries unless it's too much for him.

"Why did you even break up in the first place if it pains you so much?"

Zeng sniffled, "I did it for both of us."

The Paediatric Surgeon tilted her head, "For both? Do you even know what he wants?

"Yes, I know. He wants to go back to his job that he loved. He wants a family. He wants to get married and have kids." Zeng stated as a matter of fact.

Meng Zaria was now pissed as she too had been in the same situation before but never acted this way. "Stop assuming things, will you?" She screamed, "He has his own definition of happiness, which may not be the same as you imagine it to be."

Zeng was speechless. He didn't know how to react to this.

Calming down, Zaria continued, "Ask yourself, Zeng. Are you happy if you are away from him?"

Zeng pursed his lips. His answer might wash away everything that he has taken efforts into. "No."

"Does he make you happy?"

Zeng didn't dare lie. The words felt strange to him but he answered honestly, "The happiest."

"Do you wish to stay with him?" The final question.

Zeng hesitantly nodded, "Yes, but with me, he won't find happiness..."

"Will you stop saying that?" Zaria raised her voice, "Maybe you never understood him, Zeng. He knows what's best for him. So let him decide. Don't go on choosing something that you think would make him happy, dammit!"

Zeng was startled, the realisation weighing down on him. He blinked his eyes before focusing them on the faraway buildings, "Maybe he has moved on."

"You think so?" She raised an eyebrow, frustrated at how oblivious this guy could be.