Chapter 87 - What Does The Heart Say?

Zeng gave it a thought but couldn't totally reject the negative possibility.

"I don't know anymore." He sighed, covering his face with his palms. "I have hurt him too much. He must be hating me by now."

"Oh God! You men are so stupid!" Zaria facepalmed as Zeng got offended.

"I am not!" He protested, peeking out from his palms. "I ranked fifth in my batch while graduation. Stop stereotyping people by their gender."

She made a face, "Not that kind of stupid, you stupid! It's the truth in my opinion and I don't regret saying it. Even if all men aren't dumb, you definitely are." She said and shrugged nonchalantly, "The dumbest of them all. Like the truth is right in front of your stupid ass eyes and you still won't see it."

"Whatever," he glared, "Stop using bad words to describe me, will you?"

Zaria grinned at that, "Never!" And squashed him in a hug.

Zeng rolled his eyes.

Zaria's phone beeped, putting an end to their friendly banter. "Time to go." She got up. "So moral of the story: Do what your heart tells you to or else you will end up regretting things for the rest of your life. Oh and don't worry if you start hearing rumours," she said, adjusting her coat.

"What rumours?" Zeng asked as he didn't know in what situation they came to the terrace.

Zaria cleared her throat for mimicking the over-enthusiastic nurses, "Rumours like - Oh my god! Is Dr Meng Zaria dating Dr Xiao Zeng from the General Surgery department? I saw them holding hands. Kyaaaaaa!!! I heard they went to some empty room. They are so wild! Kekeke!! Oh my God! So romantic! They make such a cute couple...blah blah blah..."

She made a vomiting gesture at the last sentence and Zeng chuckled.

Zaria felt relieved to see Zeng smiling again, "Now, go back, mister. You need to sort things out..." She turned on her heels, "...and do something about your getup. You look like a mess." She scrunched her nose and left the terrace, waving.

Xiao Zeng stayed there for some time, thinking about what to do next. Sitting there alone for a few more minutes, he had come to a conclusion. He got up and left for his apartment.

His apartment had two small rooms where most of the space was occupied by his medical books and equipment. He had rented it as it was closer to his hospital. He took a shower, dressed up in clean clothes and got back to the hospital, in the ICU as soon as he could. Yul's parents were waiting for him.

"I thought you left." Mr Wang smiled with relief, seeing that Zeng was back.

"Well... I didn't." Xiao Zeng returned the smile with his own.

Mrs Wang had no idea what happened when she had gone to meet Yul. She patted Zeng's shoulder. "It's your turn. The nurse is giving him some injections. You can go after she comes out."

Zeng tensed up at the thought of seeing Yul. The nurse came out, holding a train in her hands. She smiled at the familiar doctor and greeted him with a 'good morning'.

Zeng gave back a polite nod and smiled.

It was his turn now. He had to see Yul.

Xiao Zeng hesitated for a bit. It has been more than six months since he had last seen that handsome face, crying before him. He didn't want to picture how Yul must be looking right now as he was too habitual to the outcome of such surgeries. It was the last thing he wanted to see Yul in and yet here he was.

Slowly, he inched towards the door and pushed it open. He only took two steps into the room and the door closed behind him, making it soundproof once again.

Zeng saw him from a distance.

Yul was covered in bandages all over. There were fresh wounds, some were old scars. A ventilator assisted him in breathing. Various tubes were attached to his body. Needles penetrated his skin for saline and transfusing blood.

Yul laid on the bed, motionless. Only the slight up and down movement of his chest and the waving ECG differentiated him from a dead person.

Zeng didn't dare to go near him. The sight was too much for him. He clasped a hand on his mouth as tears made their way down his cheeks. His heart ached in a way that he couldn't bear. He started sobbing silently. Even if he sobbed loudly, the unconscious person wouldn't be able to hear him. But Zeng felt that if he made even a single sound or went near Yul, his unconscious body would be disgusted by him

Zeng was the one who put forth the proposal of separation, not to ever cross paths again. Yet, here he was, shamelessly barging in. What right did he have to walk in?

"I am sorry," he mumbled inaudibly. "I am so sorry, Yul." He did not even want his words to reach the other person as he kept sobbing from a distance. He didn't know what he was apologizing for but he felt the need to do so.

Zeng watched him from afar. Yul was oddly at peace. The more Zeng looked at him with teary eyes, the more he realised how much he had missed him.

He returned back after some time. For some reason, his heart kept stinging. Coming back to the waiting room, he asked the older Wang couple to have their breakfast while he would wait here.

When Mr and Mrs Wang went to the canteen, he decided to book a nearby hotel room for them for a few days till they stay here as his on-call room was too small and uncomfortable. He switched on his phone which had been turned off since yesterday. There were many missed calls and messages. They were mostly from his parents and younger brother. He called back his mother. The other line hurriedly picked up, bombarding him with questions.

Zeng's parents were worried about him and about Yul. They had seen the news which had been flashing since the incident. The counter-terrorism team in association with the anti-narcotics department had a total of 5 major fatalities and 7 other casualties were recorded, out of which one had already lost his life while the other one was in a serious condition.

The Xiao family had immediately called to enquire but Zeng wasn't answering his phone.. They were not only worried about Yul but also how it would affect Zeng.