Volume 2 - CH 4

Chapter 4 – Eternal Love

Part 1

Afterward, I visited Shiina’s house, but no reply came from inside.

She probably wasn’t at home as the place seemed empty.

That meant she had gone somewhere. Now, where did she go?

I thought of all the places I could think of.

Suddenly, a place from my previous life came to mind.

A high place. Back in our previous life, whenever the witch felt depressed or wanted to be alone, she always went to a high place.

Where was the highest place nearby?

I desperately racked my brain to look for any possible places where she could be at.

On the roof of this high-storied apartment? No. School roof? No. The park near Akagi Mountain? No… Wait, it was raining, so it should be safe to assume that she wouldn’t be outside.

A high place that wasn’t outside.

I figured it out immediately. The Gunma Prefecture’s Government Office, there was an observation hall that you could visit freely on the 32nd floor. I immediately went there and when I got to the observation hall, I saw a black-haired girl there, standing by the window while looking at the night’s view.

Perhaps because it was a weekday night or because this was just how empty Gunma was, the hall was devoid of any human presence save for us and the security guards.

“…Shiina.”

When I called out to her, her shoulders shook.

She turned to face me with a fearful look.

Her face was ridden with anxiety as she blinked at me.

“…Why are you drenched like that?”

“Huh? I thought I wiped it off properly…”

I wrung out my clothes and dried them a bit before I entered the building so that the water wouldn’t drip all over the floor.

“Were you looking for me in the rain?”

“Yes, so what?”

“Why did you do that?…”

“Because you skipped school for how many days now?”

I approached her.

She looked unwell, but I didn’t know the cause.

“Are you okay? You didn’t catch a cold, right?”

“…No, I didn’t.”

“Is that so? That’s great then.”

There goes one of my worries.

She wasn’t sick, so it was all good in that regard.

There was a possibility that she was unwell because of her curse acting up again.

Though, from that sharp glare of hers, I could assume that there was no problem in that regard too.

“Why do you even worry about me? We aren’t friends anymore.”

“Why is that the case? You can’t just cut me off without telling me anything.”

“That’s…”

She tried to say something but immediately shut her mouth.

Why was she like this? Couldn’t she just tell it straight to me?

“Anyway, why did you skip school? Is it because you don’t want to see me?”

She kept her mouth shut. Her silence answered the question. My heart started to ache.

“…Why are you avoiding me?”

I asked.

Even if I’d get hurt by her answer, I needed it, or else we wouldn’t get anywhere.

If she was avoiding me because she felt burdened because of my love for her or because I did something to offend her or even because she just hated me in the first place, whatever the answer was, I still had to ask her for her forgiveness and a chance to make up with her.

“…Do you not understand?”

“Of course not, I’m not a mind reader.”

“It’s because…”

As I was puzzled by her words, she screamed in a desperate voice.

“It’s because I like you!”

“…What?”

My thoughts went blank.

Woman, what the hell?

She liked me? What?

“…I-If that’s the case then, what’s the problem?!”

Never did I expect this kind of response to come out of her mouth.

“Everything!”

Said Shiina as she waved her hands like a child.

“I-If I were to say that I like you, wouldn’t that mean we can go out?!”

What the hell was she even talking about? I didn’t have enough braincells to understand her words.

“Y-Yeah? Then, we can just go out??”

I would want that. What was the problem?!

“We can’t! …No, we actually can, but no!”

Yeah, I lost her.

Were we even talking in the same language?

“If we go out, then I’ll be the only one who’ll be happy! I won’t be able to make you happy and I hate that! What’s the point of us going out if you won’t be happy?!”

“…What?”

That was the reason why she had been avoiding me?

“If you go out with me, of course I’ll be happy too!”

She shook her head before starting her speech.

“…This isn’t a storybook. Our life wouldn’t end with us going out and living happily ever after. It’ll go on even after that. I trust you to be able to make me happy, but if our relationship is so one-sided like that, you’ll eventually break up with me because you can’t take it anymore. That’s how our relationship will end.”

W-What the hell was that pessimistic view…

Then again, it wouldn’t be Shiina if she didn’t act this way…

“And so, you’d rather not go out with me instead?”

“Yes. Besides, there should be someone out there in this world that deserves to be with you more than I am.”

…Someone that deserved to be with me, huh?

Surely, there were plenty of girls that were way, way less troublesome to deal with than her.

But I knew that I wasn’t any better than her.

Also, I liked that part of her.

“…Like Kirishima-san.”

Said Shiina in a whisper.

She stopped speaking after that.

So that was why she had been avoiding me. And that was the reason why Hina gave me a push like that.

I admire Hina even more now. I have to live up to her expectations.

To do that, I had to persuade this stubborn girl in front of me to reach a happy ending with me.

“Are you implying that I should go out with Hina?”

“Yes. She’s your childhood friend, she’s always been by your side, not to mention that she likes you. There’s no one better than Kirishima-san.”

Look at her, her pained expression when she said that.

She said all that, but she looked like she was about to cry.

“…I just dumped her before I came here.”

When I told her this, Shiina showed me a surprised look.

“W-Why?!”

I took a step closer to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

Our face was so close that our noses almost touched. With our eyes locked at each other, I cry out my feelings to her.

“Because I don’t want to give up on you!”

Tears trickled from the corner of her eyes.

This girl was prone to overthinking, self-hatred and depression. She hated her current state, but she was too used to it to try to move on from it. In a way, you could say that she was bad at handling her life.

Luckily for her…

No matter how unhappy she became, I’d do my best to make her happy.

That was my resolve, my wish, even back before I reincarnated into this world.

She said that going out with me would make her happy. There was no need to hesitate anymore.

Strike while the iron is hot, they said. I’ll slam this overflowing feeling of mine to her, so she could understand.

“Shiina. Let me make this clear to you. I love you.”

I could see her eyes shaking when she heard my words, but she still kept her face down.

“…But, Kirishima-san has always been in love with you.”

I know that.

Of course I know that.

I like Hina too.

I really want to make her happy too.

But the only person that I love romantically is Shiina.

‘Thanks to you, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.’

When I saw her smile back then, I felt so happy.

It felt like I was saved. Her existence saved me.

She looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help but be entranced by that beauty.

I wanted to spend all my life with her, to see her smile again and again.

As long as she could spend her days with that smile on her face, I would be content. That was enough to make me happy.

“Why… To someone like me?…”

“Stop devaluing the person that I love.”

Her shoulders shook when I told her this.

“Sorry, but this feeling of mine isn’t so trivial that I could just give up on it on demand. It’s useless to try to run away from me! I will never let you go unless you go out with me! So, prepare yourself, I’ll chase you to the end of the earth, Shiina! Fuhahaha!”

…Wait, that sounded wrong somehow.

No, no, I mean, we love each other anyway, so there should be no problem even if I say it like that.

With a slight annoyance, Shiina yelled at me,

“I-I love you more than you love me! You can’t beat my love for you!”

“No! I love you more than you love me!”

“There’s no way that’s the case! All I can think about before I go to sleep every night is the conversations I had with you!”

“I always find myself staring at you in class! I do it all the time!”

“…I-Is that so?…”

My face was getting hot.

“But, that’s the reason why I can’t go out with you!”

“Because you can’t make me happy? Why do you care so much?”

“Because all I can do is make you unhappy! I already made you unhappy!”

“…That’s in our previous life. Now it’s different. You are not a witch anymore and I’m also not a hero anymore!”

“I know, but that doesn’t change anything! We’re still the same person as back then inside!”

“Why do you feel the need to make this so complicated…”

“You don’t understand. Unlike Kirishima-san, I don’t have the strength to support you! To receive your love one-sidedly is too much of a burden for me! I’m fine with staying as your friend!”

Apparently Shiina was obsessed with whether or not she could support me.

“Do I look so unreliable to you that you think I need someone to support me?”

“Yes. If someone doesn’t support you, you’ll become unhappy soon.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you!”

When I pointed that out, Shiina turned her face down and muttered, “…You have a point.”

No, don’t get depressed now…

“When you calm down later, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Love is blind, isn’t it? You’re in that state right now.”

In the end, the problem stemmed from this girl’s abnormally low self-esteem.

She didn’t believe in the concept of someone liking her in the first place.

Deep down, she didn’t believe that I liked her.

“Wrong. I love you! No matter what, I’ll always love you! Whether love blinds me or not, it doesn’t matter!”

“Stop saying such things…”

“I won’t stop! This is not about me, this is about my love for you! I like you because you’re you!”

“I can’t accept that love!”

“Then, what do I have to do to convince you?”

“Tell me one thing you like about me!”

She puffed out her chest with confidence. She seemed sure that I could never name a single good thing about her.

What amazing confidence, even though it was in a negative direction.

“…Fine.”

I’ll tell her.

One by one, I’ll list the good points of Shiina.

“…Okay, first of all, I like your face. You were pretty back in our previous lives and right now you don’t look any worse. Even among the idols, you look the prettiest, the prettiest in the world! You need to be aware of that, okay?”

“…What ‘prettiest in the world’? Why do I need to be aware of that?”

“I’m not a narcissist,” she continued with flushed cheeks.

“…Secondly, I like your kindness. People always treated you badly, but you still treated them kindly even though no one would blame you if you were to give none of those people mercy.”

“…A-Ahem. Y-You know that it’s useless to flatter me like this, right? I already love you to begin with, so no matter how hard you try to seduce me it won’t change anything. Too bad.”

Said Shiina. She sounded so sure that she had strong logic backing up her words. Her words were all over the place though.

I ignored the idiot’s words and continued talking.

“…I like the way you treat me. I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but it feels comfortable. When you opened your heart to me, you closed your distance from me and it made me feel that you’re depending on me. I like that.”

“I-Is that so?…”

She looked away while being fidgety.

“…I like your attitude when you try to shun people away. You looked like you can’t bear to treat them harshly and always try to look out for them after you shunned them away. That clumsiness of yours, I like it.”

Since she hid her face, I couldn’t see her expression anymore, but I could tell that her ears were bright red.

“…I like your happy look whenever you’re telling me a story. Your voice turns gentler than usual, you become more expressive and happy. I like the bright expression you made whenever I managed to sympathize with you.”

In a whisper, she said “Please stop…” while covering her face with her hands. Too bad for her, I won’t stop.

“…I like your smile. I like the way your cheeks move like a blooming flower.”

The word ‘like’ kept coming from my mouth.

I love her so much. I’ve always had my eyes on her.

From the beginning, I was drawn to her and recently, that feeling bloomed into love.

I wanted to make her happy, to see her smile and to be always with her.

“I-I get it, I get it, just stop!”

“I love everything about you. I love your troublesome side, your clumsiness, your low self-esteem, your inadequacy as a human being, I love everything!”

“…Enough already… I know that you love me!”

“Then, you should know how happy I’d be if I were to go out with you.”

“Uu…”

Shiina shifted her hands that were covering her face and glanced at me.

“S-Should we really… Go out?…”

I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I could see clearly that her face was getting redder.

“A-As expected, we shouldn’t! If we do, I won’t be myself anymore!”

“What are you on about?”

“I’ll go crazy because I’ll become too happy!”

“I’ll be in the boat as you, though?”

“…But, if we were to become lovers, there’s a chance that we’d break up. If that were to happen, that’ll be the end of our relationship, we can’t even turn back into friends anymore. If I have to go through that, it’ll be better for us to stay as friends…”

Amazing, she always had the worst-case scenario in mind.

Since she has always been acting like this, she probably never realized that all the negativity was just unnecessary worry.

“Then, let’s get married.”

“…Huh?”

“I swear I’ll be together with you for the rest of your life. This way, you won’t need to worry about us breaking up.”

“…W-We can’t get married at this age.”

“Let’s get engaged first then. We can get married after we’re old enough.”

Even after I said all that, she still looked hesitant. I’m getting irritated.

“Shiina! Stop brooding over this!”

“B-But… I don’t have the confidence that I’ll make you happy…”

“Then try it! You won’t get anywhere if you don’t at least try it! Listen to me!”

I took a deep breath. What I’m going to say will sound pathetic, but…

“You will make me happy!”

Those words startled Shiina as she blinked her eyes.

“W-What?…”

“That’s why don’t just leave me to someone else! Tell yourself that you can do this! Don’t throw me away without even trying! Shiina Mai. I’m confident that you can make me happy!”

I didn’t know what the hell I was saying to her, but at least it seemed like my words got through to her.

“Try…” She mumbled while looking at her palm.

“…Maybe we won’t be able to live normally like normal people because of our previous lives’ memories. Maybe we’re horrible at trying to reach for our happiness, but that’s exactly why we’ll be perfect for each other. I promise I’ll make you happy, so…”

“…I can make you happy?”

I nodded at her words.

Suddenly, the memories of my previous life came to my mind.

‘It can’t be helped then. Let’s live our unhappy life together.’

She once said that to me.

Back then, I couldn’t accept those words.

Living our unhappy life together? No way, I should be the only one who lives an unhappy life.

That was what I swore during that day. But, it turned out that what the witch said back then was correct.

“…Can we really do it?”

Muttered Shiina.

“Of course.”

In our previous lives, Grey Handlet and Cerys Flores lived our unhappy lives together.

But this time, as Shiraishi Godou and Shiina Mai, everything will be different.

I’m not a hero like in my previous life.

That’s why I’ll live my life more arrogantly back then.

I’ll get what I want.

I’ll do whatever I want to do.

Since what I want is her happiness, I’ll do my best to make her happy.

That’s why I reached out to her.

“Let’s live our happy life together.”

At the same time as her laughter, came her tears. She had a rather pathetic look on her face.

Her pretty face was ruined as her eyes turned swollen and tears ran down her cheeks.

Despite that, she wiped her tears away and took my hands with a determined look on her face.

“…I’ll do my best.”

She pulled my hand and hugged me.

“O-Oi, my clothes are still wet from the rain.”

“I don’t care.”

A sweet scent tickled my nostrils.

Her warmth chased the cold away from my body.

“…I’ll make you happy, Godou.”

She said that in a whisper. Strength filled the hands that embraced me.

“I’ll make you happy too. This time as a lover.”

*   *   *

How long has it been since Shiina and I started hugging?

Probably less than a minute, but in that short amount of time, my whole being was filled with happiness.

However, such feelings didn’t last.

Since everything was resolved, I gradually regained my composure.

…So, when should we separate?

Shiina was holding on to me so tightly that I couldn’t even see her face. It seemed like she wouldn’t let go of me anytime soon. If anything, this girl had been rubbing her cheeks against my chest for a while now. Why is she so cute? I just can’t…

Anyway, that aside, even though there was no one around, we were still in public.

This was the Government’s Office, we sure made a big mess here…

We bickered with each other loudly, shouting our love to each other and to top it all, we hugged each other.

If someone were to see us, it would be a disaster for us…

“Um, can I have a minute?”

Someone called me from behind. In an instant, my whole body trembled.

Normally, I’d be able to notice their footsteps, but I was too distracted to pay any attention to my surroundings.

I hurriedly turned around and moved away from Shiina. Behind me was the security guard.

“Sorry to interrupt you two, but it’s closing time already…”

“Y-Yes… S-Sorry…”

Both of us cowered in shame. I could feel my face getting even hotter than back when I was shouting my love for Shiina.

What the hell were we doing?

“Don’t be, don’t be. I got to see something good thanks to you two. Ah, youth…”

The security guard nodded his head a few times. The warm gaze he sent us stung.

I didn’t even have the energy to make commentary on his gaze.

“I’m glad there are no other people here or else I’d need to stop you in the middle. Now, that would be awkward, wouldn’t it?”

Said the security guard as he escorted us to the elevator.

“Alright, I wish you two happiness.”

He sent us off with a smile as we entered the elevator.

We stood side by side as the elevator slowly descended to the lowest floor.

I glanced at Shiina, who was standing next to me, only to find that she was also glancing at me. At that moment, our eyes met. For some reason, I turned my gaze away. After a while, I turned my gaze on her again and our eyes met again. This time, Shiina was the one who turned her gaze away.

What should we do now? This is so awkward…

Anyway, did this mean that we had officially become lovers?

How do you do this whole lovers thing again? Ugh, I didn’t know a single thing about this!

I mean, just being next to her already made me nervous…

…But still… We were dating, huh?

“We’re here.”

As the elevator reached the ground level, the door opened. My legs were still frozen, but Shiina took my hand and urged me to leave with her, hand in hand.

“S-Shiina?”

“T-This much should be fine… W-We’re lovers anyway…”

She turned her face away, but her hand was still firmly grasping mine.

Even though our gazes were apart, our hands were tied to each other.

“…Godou?”

Noticing my silence, she turned her gaze toward me.

“Are you embarrassed by this?”

She said, trying to tease me, even though her face was as red as mine.

“…You’re so cute.”

She let out a giggle that turned into a seductive smile a beat later. This was a new side of her that I never knew existed. Before this, it was me who kept teasing her all the time, but now that we’ve become lovers, the dynamic in our relationship seemed to be reversed.

…No, that shouldn’t be the case. She was as hopeless as I do in regard to romance.

As long as I could tease her back, I should be able to keep my dignity as the man in our relationship.

“S-Shiina.”

I called out to her, but she made a move quickly and placed a finger on my lips.

“I hate that.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“…Am I not your girlfriend? Call me by my name.”

Did that mean she wanted me to call her ‘Mai’?

…I suddenly felt embarrassed. Maybe it was because I was too used to calling her ‘Shiina’.

She called me ‘Godou’ as soon as I told her to stop calling me ‘Hero’, so she was used to this. I probably should have called her ‘Mai’ when I decided to stop calling her ‘Witch.’

If only I had done that, I wouldn’t be stuck in this situation.

“…Godou?”

“…M-Mai…”

When I called Shiina— Mai, by her name, she giggled happily.

“Say it one more time.”

“But why?”

“…Aren’t we lovers?”

Stop giving me those puppy eyes! I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t!

“…Mai.”

When I called her name again, she leaned her head against my shoulders.

She unclasped my hand and repositioned herself so that she could embrace my arm instead.

This position was too dangerous. I could feel her soft chest on my arm.

“You were so reluctant, but you sure got in the mood quickly…”

When she heard that, she puffed both her cheeks.

“I’ve been putting up with this feeling for a long time, so I have to do at least this much to make up for it. Since you said that I don’t need to restrain myself, I’ll do my best to shower you with my love…”

“…I see.”

This was bad for my heart, but at the same time, it made me happy.

We walked home together under the night sky. The rain had long gone. The clouds had gone away somewhere as the night sky was filled with countless shining stars. My clothes were still damp, so the air felt a little chilly.

Although I could feel the warmth of summer, the chilly air reminded me that autumn was fast approaching.

Suddenly, Mai spoke up.

“Take care of me from now on, Darling~”

“D-Darling?!”

“Aren’t we getting married later?”

“Y-Yeah, but you know…”

It was too early for this!

Even though I think so, my mind managed to imagine my newlywed life with her.

‘Welcome home, darling~ Would you like your dinner? A bath? Or maybe…’

Yes please, call me darling, please. Let’s get married right now!

“I’m just kidding. We’ll use that after we get married for real. For now, let’s act appropriately as lovers.”

“E-Eh… I-I see…”

“What? Did you really think that I’ll call you ‘Darling’ all the time while we’re still lovers?”

She was right. I took her joke too seriously, jeez, what a pathetic guy I was.

“Anyway, you’re going to propose to me again later, right?”

“D-Do I have to?…”

“Of course. I will never get tired of your proposals, it’s like good food, you know? One will never get tired of good food, right?”

If possible, I really didn’t want to do that nerve-wracking confession ever again.

But, if that could make her happy…

I looked up at the sky and saw a twinkling shooting star. Before its light disappeared, I prayed in my heart.

May we live a happy life in the future.