Chapter 108： I think of you, my heart is whole

Chapter 108 I think of you, my heart is complete

Everyone around her said she was good.

Long and beautiful, rich at home, endless brand names, endless costumes and jewelry...

But she is the only one who can't always find a good place for herself, and often lives very powerless.

In the past life, she often asked herself: "Why do I live like this, why do I struggle with all my strength and can't break free from the black hole in my heart?"

There are also people around her who are jealous of her.

She was secretly envious of others having a complete home.

In the last life, she was far from being able to do what she is now, generously accepting her parents' later family, and treating those who have no blood relationship with her as family, and it will never be possible to live in harmony with her family and the people around her like she is now. .

Intimacy and interpersonal relationships are a difficult proposition in her life.

She will never be able to get warmth and love in such a complex and huge family environment.

The more unacceptable, the less able to integrate, the more lonely.

When she was very depressed, she was like the girl who passed away, thinking: "Why should I be born, is it really only death that can end the pain in this life?"

However, she did not have the courage to die.

She is afraid, if the pain in this life is not over, will the next life be like this again and again?

Someone said: "Go and pray to God, God can save you."

But it was another difficult journey.

So, what is the meaning of the existence of soul and body?

Later, she found the answer in her faith:

"Prince Shakyamuni said: 'All life is suffering, gods and buddhas have to go through kalpas, how much more mortals?'

Even if there are no evil causes and no evil results, there will be many unintentional injuries, unwilling separations, perhaps ten years of life and death, or perhaps the mountains and rivers will never meet again.

What should I do after the pain is over?

What should I do if the pain doesn't go away?

You can only keep correcting yourself, telling yourself that all the hardships you encounter are the gravel of the clam shell, a gift from God, and a gift from the future.

This is growth, perseverance, wait, gather courage, and learn from the pain.

I hope that time will pass, leaving a warm me, a better me, a cracked but stronger me. "

What kind of catastrophe people have, what kind of predestined law.

Constantly admit mistakes, calibrate, get up and walk again, this is growth.

No one can replace you except yourself.

But this is life, only her life.

Fortunately, on this long journey, she has come to the day she sees the light again.

Just when Ning Youguang was immersed in his own thoughts.

Over there, Ming Jinxin's topic happened to turn to her:

"Yes, are you busy at school recently?"

"It's okay, the research lab project is coming to an end."

"That's good." Ming Jinxin smiled immediately, "That's right, I have a friend who wants to ask you to make a case for his nephew. His nephew is in a special situation and doesn't want to see a psychiatrist. Here, I would like to invite you to help his nephew, if you are willing to take his case, the payment is not a problem."

"Is there a school that still has classes? It was so busy a while ago, so let's take a break." Ning Yi frowned slightly and interrupted.

Knowing that he cares about himself, Ning Youguang smiled at him, "Dad, I can do it, I have rested very well these days, and I just have some time."

Turning her head, she replied to Ming Jinxin, "Auntie, I have to see the client first, and then I can decide whether to accept his case or not."

"That's what it should be." Ming Jinxin nodded, "I'll tell my friends when it's convenient for you."

"I'll check the schedule later. If it's not a big problem, there will be no class tomorrow afternoon. You can go and have a look."

"Okay, then tell me when you're sure."

…

There is a class the next morning.

Ning Youguang had dinner at home that night, sat down, and drove back to where she lived by herself - the single teacher dormitory arranged by the school at the beginning of the month.

This dormitory is one of the staff dormitories of the school, with an area of ​​less than 40 square meters, one room and one living room, with kitchen and private bathroom.

The most satisfying thing for Ning Youguang is that the dormitory assigned to her is on the first floor, and there is a small yard behind the small apartment. There are old professors who used to live here and various roses of her lover. Hydrangea, Camellia, etc.

When the flowers bloom, the scenery in the small courtyard is particularly beautiful.

When she passed by here before, every time she saw the flowers blooming in the yard, she often couldn't help taking pictures to share with friends, family and netizens.

did not expect to be so lucky this time, this dormitory was assigned to her.

So, the school assigned her this dormitory, and she couldn't wait to move in.

She plans to tidy up the yard when she is free in the past few days, add some flowers and plants, and make the scenery in the yard more abundant.

When they grow up in summer, her yard will be even more beautiful.

…

Woke up at six in the morning, opened his eyes, Ning Youguang heard the rain pattering outside the window.

Her heart suddenly felt inexplicably moved.

Lazily lying on the bed, quietly listening to the sound of the rain for nearly ten minutes, then slowly got up.

After washing, I went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, toasted two slices of bread, put it on a plate, and brought it to the living room to prepare for dinner.

Before eating, I suddenly thought of a child far away in the United States, and I didn’t know what he was doing.

took a photo and sent it.

[Sister: [Picture] Good morning, what are you doing? ]

Soon, there will be a message back there.

[Child: [Picture] is busy in the company and is getting off work. ]

[Sister: Go back to rest early, get home, here is a message. ]

[Child: OK, smiley jpg.]

［Sister: Good jpg.］

2023, April 15, Weibo.

[A person who likes the ordinary: The bright moon hangs high in the night sky, it is spring now, I think of you, and my heart is complete. ]

…

After sending a WeChat message to Shi Mochizuki, Ning Youguang turned on the bluetooth speaker in the room, and the cheerful and peaceful classical music sounded slowly in the room.

Such a beautiful morning, you should listen to Mozart.

It is the happy, peaceful, auspicious, bright side of Orpheus.

everything's ready.

Ning Youguang was about to sit down on the sofa chair by the window in the living room to have breakfast, listening to Mozart and watching the rain, when there was a knock on the door of "dong dong dong...".

This knock on the door was regular and gentle.

She turned around to open the door. Standing outside the door was a kind-looking, round face, and elegant middle-aged lady, who was Professor Chen's wife, Teacher Li next door.

She was holding a printed plate in her hand. The plate contained four steaming, white, fat and soft buns.

The other party's intention is self-evident.

"Mr. Li, please come in." She chuckled.

A plain girl, in her early twenties, with a delicate and clean face, as beautiful as an orchid in an empty valley, and a serene bookish air.

It was a delight to see such a beautiful girl early in the morning.

The smile on Mr. Li's face became more obvious.

She smiled and took the buns and entered the door, "Mr. Xiao Ning, I just made the buns this morning, I'll give you a few, you can try them out, if they taste good, I'll bring them to you next time I make them. "

"Wow, it smells so good, thank you Teacher Li."

Ning Youguang happily took her plate and buns, took them, turned and went to the kitchen.

After she put the buns on her own plate in the kitchen, and washed Mr. Li's dishes, she returned to the living room with Mr. Li's plates and buns.

Mr. Xiao Ning is very famous in UCAS, Ms. Li has known her for several years.

Today was the first time I entered her place.

While she was packing the buns, she roughly looked at the environment in front of her and said in surprise:

"Mr. Xiaoning, there are so few things in your room."

Such a small dormitory, it seems crowded if you put anything.

Mrs. Li has been to many teachers' residences, including her home. They are all the same size, but most of them are stuffed with stuff, and it is rare that they are so empty and comfortable.

"Material desires are disturbed. If you have more than one thing, you will be tired. If you can have less, you will be at ease."

The girl stood in front of her with a bun, her posture was casual and indescribable, her delicate face was full of smiles, she was good-looking, her voice was good, and she could speak well.

Teacher Li took the plate that she handed over and nodded again and again: "That's it, that's it, now there is so much material, it's very convenient to ask for anything, there really is no need to put so many things at home, some necessities are enough, it's rare The thing is, you are so young, you understand this principle."

Ning Youguang smiled, "Has Mr. Li had breakfast?"

"I just ate two steamed buns, and this plate for you is the second pot I have steamed. I get up early now that I am older. When the first pot of steamed buns was cooked, I didn't bring it to you for fear of disturbing your sleep. I ate it all at my own house, and I just came to knock on the door when I smelled the aroma of your coffee at home."

Mr. Li is also a wonderful person. He is about fifty years old and is approaching retirement age. In addition to work and academic studies, he loves cooking at home.

I always cook a lot, and I can’t finish it at home, so I will deliver it upstairs and downstairs.

The building they live in now is an old house.

The    building is populated by the school staff and their families. The older ones, such as Professor Chen and Mr. Li, have lived here for more than ten or twenty years.

There are not many young people like Teacher Xiaoning who can live in.

But the teachers upstairs and downstairs have also known her for several years. After all, she was a student in the school before, and she was still the kind of student who swept the whole school and was still the most famous student of the National Academy of Sciences.

In the past few years, there are very few teachers and students at UCAS who do not know her.

Living in the same building, they are all high-level intellectuals, and they all know each other. They get along more closely than ordinary neighbors, but they can maintain relative proportions and independence from each other.

This is also where Ning Youguang likes it.

"It's delicious." She picked up the buns on the plate and took a generous bite in front of Teacher Li.

The skin of the steamed buns is soft and glutinous, and the stuffing in the buns is also delicious. The vegetarian ones, the fungus carrot vermicelli buns, and some chili powder, the taste is just right.

"Mr. Li also likes to be vegetarian every day?"

"Yes, our family's diet is relatively light, and we don't like greasy food. What does Teacher Xiaoning usually eat? If it suits your taste, I will come to eat at home later." Teacher Li invited him with a smile.

She stared at Teacher Xiao Ning's pretty face, she really liked it no matter how she looked at it.

"It's okay to be light."

"Good good, light good."

"Does Mr. Li drink coffee?"

"Okay, I just didn't drink anything in the morning." Teacher Li also sat down in the living room generously.

…

After Mr. Li finished drinking a cup of coffee, he took the plate and left with satisfaction.

Ning Youguang took advantage of the time left before class in the morning, clicked on his Weibo and flipped through it.

Her Weibo has nearly 10 million followers.

Since she went to college, in addition to sharing professional psychological content and case experience on Weibo, she also answers the questions of netizens, which is also a public welfare consultation for netizens.

today.

The question she chose in the comment area was a question from a Weibo netizen "I'm good": [I'm good: Excuse me, teacher, how can a person be gentle? ]

[An ordinary person: the gentle half is knowledge, I wish you well! @I'm good]

After the Weibo is posted, netizens will repost, comment and like it soon.

Across the mobile phone screen, the distance between people and people's hearts has become closer.

Because we don’t know each other, we forget when we see it.

The sadness, love, enthusiasm, and sadness in people's hearts that are difficult to face and express can be freely revealed to strangers.

This is why she has been operating Weibo seriously for so many years.

Because she knows:

Many people have unspeakable tears of sadness in their hearts, which cannot be revealed to those around them.

Even if explained, they would not understand.

If it was displayed without the help of the virtual space of the Internet, it happened that I met someone like her who was able to give the other party an answer and gave her a helping hand.

It will always remain the same, like the snowflakes on a windless night, quietly deposited in the bottom of my heart. 1314

(end of this chapter)