CH 6

I suffered from a harsh cold after that day. It is said that not even dogs catch a summer cold, but this damn weak body was struggling after just a bit of rain.

Hadelion was worried about me, Grand Duke Grey was worried about me. All the servants in the mansion were worried about me.

Hadel, in particular, stuck by my side to the point of tediousness.

“How’s your body?”

“Is there anything else to say other than that?”

“…Pardon?”

“I guess you don’t know how many times you’ve asked the exact same question.”

As if embarrassed, he scratched the back of his head. I could see his ears turning red, exposed under his neatly combed blonde hair.

“Ah… did I ask too many times?”

“Yeah. You asked the day before yesterday, yesterday, and this morning.”

“I guess that now, too–”

“You asked exactly seventy-five times in a week.”

“I have been bothering you a little.”

“Not a little. A lot.”

What has changed so far was that he was speaking more now. He initiated conversation first, even if I didn’t bring anything up. Sometimes he would fetch me a glass of water and bring me a blanket when I stared out the window.

‘Did my withering appearance stir in Hadelion a desire for extreme care?’

I thought Grand Duke Grey would think Hadelion was a thorn in his side and kick him out immediately after his mind had calmed a little, but his excitement for my recovery was still ongoing. That didn’t mean that the two of them were getting along, but still, it was unexpected.

‘Grand Duke Grey, and you too. Are you both acting strange only in front of me?’

Hadelion and the Grand Duke were like cogwheels revolving around me as they hovered.

They only allowed me to touch them. 

They only paid attention to me.

They only spoke to me.

Looking at it, they were very alike.

‘Of course, Grand Duke Grey thought it was bothersome to deal with others. That was the main reason he rejected all others except me.’

Anyway, our daily lives were calm. Hadelion followed me everywhere like a chick, and at some point, I wasn’t bothered by it anymore.

Like a habit, I said it again today.

“Then, shall we take a bath together today?”

“…What?”

In other words, it became my daily routine to see him flustered like a baby rabbit.

The bathroom was filled with hazy steam, and the sun, already tired of pouring its light all day long, slanted languidly through the window frame on the wall.

“What’s wrong, Hadelion? Aren’t you going to wash?”

“That…”

Hadelion had been stiff as a stick for half an hour in that sunny spot. In the end, it seemed up to me to resolve the situation.

All the maids lined up along the wall showed utmost patience and stoicism.

I sighed.

‘That’s right. Even a thirsty man can dig a well for water.’

Of course, it was also because his facial expression had changed these days, becoming clearer, and had caught my attention.

“Come on, let’s wash up! Come here.”

I rolled up my sleeves and reached out to him like a mother trying to bathe her child. Normally, he would have come to me without hesitation and held my hand, but now he was busy hiding behind the bathtub.

I was reminded of a baby squirrel shaking in fear. Somehow, the evil inside me was triggered by such an appetite, but it wasn’t my fault. It was because Hadelion kept making me have bad thoughts.

“…U- Umm…”

“Not ‘Umm’ but Lillian.”

“L-Lilian. The bath… I, I’m fine…”

“Well, I’m not fine with it. Come on. Unless you want to see my arm fall off because you won’t take my hand.”

Of course, he was still a man. The nape of his neck turned red. He tried to cover it up by smoothing his hair over it. However, his actions caused the opposite effect. I watched him silently for a moment, observing his very funny appearance.

“Miss, we’ll wash the child.”

“It’s fine, you can leave.”

“You’ve just recovered from your cold. What if you overdo it and get sick again?”

“I know my body well. It’s not going to happen today, so don’t worry about it and go.”

“Miss.”

“There are many other ways to get sick.”

“…Yes?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Do you want to be nagged by my father again?”

When I came out with this threat, the pale maids left the bathroom obediently. They reacted so strongly because I had been sick with a cold for the past week, and the Grand Prince Grey had been quite harsh to all the servants. The first person who rushed out was my personal maid, Jeya. I heard that was the one who reported my health directly to Grand Duke Grey Anyway, the intruders were gone. I reached out to him again.

“Then, Hadelion? It’s just you and me now. Come on out. I’ll wash with you.”

“…Together?”

“Why? Why not? What’s the big deal about washing with a little child?”

“That… that’s true, but–”

“Then,  why were you staring at the maids? Weren’t you hoping for them to leave?”

“I- I wasn’t hoping for anything like that. Really.”

“Ah, I did. I thought you were hinting to let them go.”

He shook his head and denied it twice. He never made me feel bored. I deliberately stared at him and continued. 

‘I’d like to experiment with how much more red those ears and the nape of his neck can get.’

“Oh, I see. You were waiting, right? You should have told me earlier.”

“What? What do you…?”

“Taking off the clothes. As a child, it must be too much work for you. Come on now, I’ll take them off for you.”

My voice echoing in the bathroom reached him. I could clearly see the small body, half-hidden behind the bathtub, shuddering.

‘Oh, I don’t want to stop here.’

I knew it well. I knew I was being too mean.

“Y-y-you can’t!”

“You don’t have to be shy. It’s just the two of us here.”

“Don’t lower your voice like that!”

“Why? That’s just my voice.”

“Is that why you sent the maids away? To make fun of me?”

“Yep, you got me. That’s why I told them to go away. So, hurry and come here. I sent them out just for you.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can wash by myself…”

“If you don’t want to come to me, I’ll go to you.”

“Wait, w-w-wait! Stop. Don’t come near me!”

By now, his whole body had turned red. His frantically shaking nape had turned red to the point where I thought it might explode. If someone saw this, they might think I was about to eat him.

Until the very end, I didn’t want him to know that such vivid reactions made me feel alive but then, he seemed to have heard the laughter that I was trying to suppress. His expression visibly changed.

“Don’t worry. I’m not interested in little kids.”

‘Being mean to you is just a brief escape from myself.’

I was conceited again.

*   *   *

Hadelion forgot to breathe.

‘…She laughed.’

He had never seen Lilian smile. It was as if the dark clouds that covered the sky the day they met stuck on her face since then.

‘She’s a person with an expressionless face.’ That was what he thought for several days until he hovered around her as she lay ill.

At first, she caught his eye because she was simply ‘strange.’ 

‘How can a person be so weak?’

For him, loved by Mana, except for the times when he suffered from mana exhaustion, it was rare to be so sick that he had to lie on a bed. Even on the day the Emperor’s indiscriminate assault broke his bones, he was able to move. Of course, he felt pain, but because of the mana in his body, he was able to move vigorously.

He was curious about how different she was from him, so he kept watching and observing her as if amazed. Then, at some point, he realized.

‘She is a person who lacks not only facial expressions but also emotions.’

How much time has passed? Suddenly, Hadelion thought of someone who was nothing like her.

“I wanted to make you smile.”

Like a distant illusion, he felt as if he could feel the warmth of the cold stone floor that day, the smell of stale soil dust, and the smell of grass.

That was why he started to care about her. Everything came to him as if quietly permeating him without his knowledge.

‘You knew how to laugh…’

In fact, it sounded more like a snort than a laugh, but Hadelion decided it was a laugh. Maybe he just wanted to believe that. Maybe, he was just wondering–

What sound do you make when you laugh?

How much do your eyes fold, and how do your lips bend?

Will those purple eyes that resemble the pansy flowers in full bloom shine?

She would look like a different person if her cheeks, always pale and tired, were flushed red–He belatedly realized he had such thoughts.

‘I want to see it again.’ Then he finally came up with that resolution.

Her breath overflowed into Hadelion’s world. The momentary laughter, which was as low as a wave on the surface of the water, remained like an afterimage in his ear, and he could not leave.

Thump.

Was it the water droplets on the bathtub or Hadelion’s heart that fell at that moment?

Was it from the heat of the steam that his body felt so hot?

‘If not that…’

Hadelion inhaled slowly. A handful of her smile was dissolved in the vapor that penetrated deep into his lungs. The light of the sunset coming through the small crevice of the bathroom window became a long thread, creating orange silk in the air.

‘Strange.’

The setting sun must be slanting, scattering the sun equally for everyone. But why did it feel as if the sun had chosen to shine just for her?

He was just lost. Looking at her mesmerized, he helplessly fell in love with her. 

“What? Are you really sad to hear my feelings about children?”

“…”

“You don’t know how to answer or are you keeping silent on purpose?”

“…”

“…Tsk. No fun.”

Whenever she didn’t like something, her clear amethyst eyes showed it well. She had the habit of frowning with the fine eyebrows that decorated her purple eyes like a frame. Hadelion silently looked into those jewel-like eyes. Those shining purple jewels contained the night sky he liked so much. He could see a small cheek reflected in her bright sunset sky-like eyes. The blue sea of his own eyes embraced the reflection in her violet sunlight.

Suddenly, the hot summer breeze felt refreshing. It was clear that he had gone crazy. 

‘Maybe it’s because it’s been too long since I came out to the outside world.’

He clenched his fists without realizing it. Feeling as if he would fly straight to the sky if he relaxed a little.

“Should… we bathe?”

“It’s fine.”

He mustered all his courage to say those words but suddenly felt drained. She had been teasing him to her heart’s content until just now and passed by his words with an upset face.

‘Did my lukewarm behavior bother you?’

Suddenly, he thought that his guess was right.

“Are… are you mad?” In a hurry, he pulled her arm and stood up.

“Why are you grabbing me?”

“What?”

“Why did you grab me?”

Angry purple eyes were staring at him directly 

…ha… Hadelion swallowed a small sigh.

A purple pansy flower bloomed above the blue sea. She was angry at him, but it wasn’t unpleasant at all.

‘I want to make your heart feel freer.’

It was something so new and strange that he couldn’t think of anything else.

“I haven’t washed yet, I… You said you were going to wash me.”

“…”

“So what I’m saying is… I mean, I want to wash with you… I’m not thinking about anything bad… Never. Just… I thought it’d be nice if we were just together…”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“Yes?”

Her brow furrowed once more. Shortly after, a sigh escaped her lips. During that brief moment, hundreds of thousands of strange emotions flashed through Hadelion’s mind.

“Wash up and come out.”

“You said that you were going to wash me before…”

“Yeah, I said that. But that was a while ago, and now I have changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not fun anymore.”

“How- How can I make it fun again?”

He couldn’t control his inner thoughts from coming out of his mouth. Eventually, Hadelion reached out to her without realizing it. Worried that she might be upset at him again, he peeked at her face. Fortunately, her expression seemed to have softened a little.

“Please answer me from now on.”

“…What?”

“…Because I don’t want to mumble alone.”

It was an instant, but an odd expression flashed briefly across her face. Hadel didn’t miss the subtle change. It was because it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling to him.

Deep loneliness.

‘Why am I reading such feelings in her?’ Rather, the question made him more interested in her. He wanted to know more about her.

“Okay then, go wash up.”

Spreading the arm he was holding, she walked toward the bathroom door. Hadelion stood still, staring blankly at her back. But Lillian stopped, not leaving.

“!”

His back stiffened like a puppy that heard its owner’s footsteps. She slowly turned toward him. Her frowning face had returned to her usual expressionless visage.

“Come to my room when you’re done washing.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want it?”

“N- no! I’ll go!”

At that moment, something flew in the wind quietly and settled down somewhere in his body like a token.