Chapter 115 - That numb feeling

I ate like I was starving for days. I took two servings of fried rice with a crispy chicken drumstick. This was definitely not fake. Grant watched with interest as I woofed down my chicken with my bare hands. Instead of laughing he frowned when I got up to grab dessert.

"You're sure it's ok to eat this much?" Grant whispered when I took my first bite in the smooth texture of the cake. I closed my eyes to savor it. It was an excuse to forget where I was. I baffled me how people would see eat here after all that happened.

"Liliane?" called Grant. I forced my eyes opened.

"What? You're ruining the taste," he sighed and averted his eyes. He then straightened up gazing at the far side of the room. I turned to follow his gaze. There, in a corner hunched on his plate was—Angus. He was sitting alone tapping on leg nervous as he ate. Our eyes met, he held it.

"I keep to stay away from him," I said. Grant faced the front and sighed again. I took huge bites in my slice of cake then paused. I wasn't hungry anymore. Dropping the fork in my plate I glanced at him with a blank face.

"I want to go see Demos," my voice a mere whisper. Food didn't help the hole inside me. I don't know what would. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I took my tray to the designated spot and left without looking at Angus. The man didn't want to make wave and I understood why. So it was better to leave him alone. Grant hurried behind me, I wanted to get to Demos as quick as possible. There was something running in my circles in my head and I had to ask him. I burst through the door and Olga looked up from her ledpad. She was kneeling next to the big black box.

"Demos—" I gasped for air.

"Liliane, I'm so sorry. Olga just told me," I frowned at her. Olga got to her feet and place the device in her hand on top of the black box.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to—" she let her sentence drop and walked to the door. She paused when she reached it. "Call me when you're done," she made a slight movement of the head at Grant before slipping out of the room.

"Come," said Demos. I didn't move, I didn't what he mean. "Come, closer," his voice dropped in a whisper. My body moved forward on its own, I stopped in front of the box. It had a low humming sound and heat from the back where cables dove inside.

"Hey, I'm really sorry I can't take you in my arms to comfort you," I shook my head while pressing my lips together. "It's frustrating," he paused. Arms suddenly wrapped around me making me winced.

"It's me," whispered Grant. "Now close your eyes," I took a deep breath and did as I was told.

"Imagine me holding you," said Demos. My eyes flickered open and pushed away from Grant and glared at the box.

"No!" I breathed. My eyes rested on Grant's pained expression. "I can't, I can't close my eyes and pretend you are someone else. You are you. You are not a substitute. I love you the way you are and you can't replace Demos. Do you hear me?" Grant lowered his eyes. Anger peaked inside of me and I sprung around at Demos.

"How could you suggest something like that to Grant?" I pointed a finger at the box. "Do you know how insecure Grant it about all of this?" Grant opened this mouth to protest but then shut it. "It's true I miss you and I would like to hug you and damn," I threw my arms in the air. "It's so frustrating," I blinked to kept my tears in. "It's damn hard! So damn hard," I stopped to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry," said the fake Demos voice.

"Don't!" I closed my eyes and pressed a finger on my forehead. A bad migraine was brewing and the shouting didn't help. "Don't say you're sorry. This is not your fault. What happened to you, is not your fault. What happened to my mom is not your fault. Shit just happen on their own. All we can do is deal with it," I spoke too quickly it made my head spin.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Grant. His face sad was terrible for my heart. Stop making that face for god sake. It will be the death of me. He lowered his head and covered his face. I sighed and closed the distance between us. I threw my arms around his neck. He was startled then he relaxed and hugged me back.

"I'm dealing with it," I whispered against his neck.

"But—"

"I'm trying to be strong, don't ruin my moment," he brushed his cheek against mine.

"Mm, guys don't forget about me," called Demos.

"Shut up, serves you good for suggesting hurting Grant with whatever foreplay you were suggesting," I snapped.

"Liliane," he pleaded like a little kid that was denied dessert. I ran my hand up Grant's neck and pulled the band holding his hair. He gave a little m.o.a.n as I buried my hand in his hair. It fell around his beautiful face. I reached up to his lips.

"We shouldn't do that here," he whispered against my parted lips. I blinked realizing what he meant. I pulled away and let go of his hair. "We are still at work and I think the punishment is harsh. Right, Demos?" he turned to the blinking box.

"Wait till I get my body back! I'm will be very naughty," warned the box. I laughed—not that forced laugh but a genuine one. He was able to bring my good mood back. Don't get me wrong, the pain was still there somewhere in the background. But they managed to make me smile in this kind of situation. I took Grant hand in mine. The pain has melted from his silver eyes. They now shone like jewels.

"I'm looking forward, jerk!"

"I'm so so going to make you pay," there was a hint of glee in his voice. I frowned at the device.

"They should do something about that voice. I doesn't convey emotions at all. You sound a lot like Atlas and that bugs me," Grant tugged on my hand, I turned to him and he looked at with saucer eyes.

"What?"

"I feel like this is a compliment," I jumped. The voice from the ceiling came out of nowhere.

"Damn it," I murmured. I heart almost leap out of my mouth.

"I just love to observe your reaction, Liliane. So, were you able to think about what I told you earlier?" my sick sensation was rapidly rushing back. Why did he have to ruin our moment?

"What?" I snapped. Grant tugged on my hand again to warn me. I couldn't help it, the thing bugs me. I get pissed each time I had to speak to him.

"Would you still love your mate without a body?"