CH 29

T/N: Haah. So, it turns out I’m an idiot and so is Claudio/Claudio. I misremembered my first read-through of the story and forgot that Claudia didn’t realize Floto is a girl the first time they met. Claudia identifies as female for the rest of the story and in my haste to do fast translations one chapter a day, I missed that part.

Still, her homophobia remains the same, and I don’t particularly feel like returning and changing so much dialog, so just pretend that I translated Claudia thinking Floto was a man and never realized that fact.

Also, Claudia’s pronouns are confusing in the story but I’m just going to keep referring to her as female with she/her for my convenience. It helps differentiate her from how she thinks of Floto, and also makes it easier for me because the author calls her Claudia and Claudio nearly interchangeably.

Claudia von Frieden was born as the only daughter of the knightly Frieden family. It wasn’t until her first female crush rejected her did Claudia realize she was different.

Claudia has liked girls since she can remember. She never questioned it. She just likes girls and takes that for granted. Then when she was 6, she confessed her feelings to the girl who was her first love, and she was told it was weird.

“It’s weird for girls not to like each other as friends, but as lovers.”

Claudia finally realized that she was different from other people after being dumped by her first love, a slightly older sister figure.

Having said that, as she looked at the world around her, there are no lovers or couples with just girls or just boys. Knowing that the people around her thought, “It’s disgusting for someone to be in love with someone of the same sex,” Claudia once tried to hide her sexuality.

In some cases, an intimate romance between same-sex couples may be cause for persecution and both to be burned at the stake. In the past, even on Earth, people were treated as heretics and tortured to death just because they were different from those around them. Such things can naturally happen in this world as well.

So Claudia desperately tried to fall in love with a boy. She was desperate because she was a woman and had to fall in love with a man.

But Claudia never liked boys. No matter how hard she tries, no, the more she tries to think that way, the less interested she is in men and the more interested she is in girls.

Like that, Claudia persevered for a year and tried to fall in love with a man, but she realized that no matter how hard she tried, it was impossible and she gave up. The more she tries to force it, the more she wants her girl, it feels as if she’s dying of thirst.

If she couldn’t do it no matter how hard she tries, she should give up already. Claudia changed her mind again. Unluckily for her, she is the daughter of a knightly family and as a girl, she’s excluded from hereditary rights. If she does not marry a man, any knighthood and its benefits would die with her father. If she doesn’t have to worry about persecution and getting burned at the stake, Claudia doesn’t have to worry about her home, and she doesn’t have to hide her homosexuality.

Furthermore, if she’s recognized as equal to men, isn’t it alright if she was open about her liking other girls? She started to think of that.

So what should Claudia do to be recognized as equal to a man? The first thing that came to mind was her father.

Claudia’s father rose to knighthood from being a commoner soldier thanks to his war achievements, albeit it was in a small conflict. He is a knight without hereditary rights, so it’s just a reward for the soldier in question.

On that note, there are also knighthoods with hereditary rights. Not all knighthoods are without hereditary rights, and although heirs normally don’t inherit the title, there are some knights whose descendants are allowed to inherit the title and privileges as special exceptions.

With her father in mind, Claudia thought that if she, too, was given a knighthood, it would mean that she was recognized as a soldier. Although there are a few female soldiers for magecraft, ceremonial purposes, and commendations, military service is basically a man’s career.

That’s why Claudia devoted herself to training to become a knight. Taught by her father, she continued to wield her sword and studied hard to earn a knighthood. Leaving aside the achievements that her father made in war, if you want to become a normal knight, you also need to study.

Conflicts and wars shouldn’t happen so conveniently from the start, and if there’s no way to make achievements in the field of battle, how can you become a knight? The answer was affiliation with the knight order.

Not everyone who belongs to a knight order is necessarily knighted by a king first. However, the members are still called knights. Even if you haven’t been knighted by a king and granted the title, if you still become a full member of a knight order, you could say the world recognizes your achievements as a man.

Become a knight by pledging your service to a knight order, and if possible, receive a knighthood from the king. Then, Claudia can say that he is a full-fledged man. As long as she had the title and become a full-fledged knight, even if you have some strange sexual preferences, won’t you be forgiven? Nobles with money and time for leisure are greedy for all manner of pleasure. That’s why many nobles have one or two strange sexual proclivities. Homosexuality may be a light matter compared to that.

With that in mind, Claudia trained every day for 3 years from the age of 7, disguised her name as Claudio, and pretended to be a man.

Even so, it is said that someone who suddenly appeared today will be joining the Royal Guard Division. After 3 years of bloody efforts, Claudio finally overwhelmed the boys of the same age as her and finally obtained her current position as a squire for this division, but now some nobody she’d never heard of was to join them, too.

If you are a high-ranking noble, you can buy the status and rank of the lower knight orders with money. A good example is the bodyguards called the Dandy Guard. The aristocratic boys who will eventually inherit their Houses’ leadership do not need to become knights or be knighted. If you are next as the family head, you can become an Earl or a Viscount. There is no point in receiving a knighthood without hereditary rights.

However, in reality, the brats of noble Houses enter the military. That would be the Crown Guard, those who act as royalty’s bodyguards, the position itself being a kind of status symbol. And they simply have to pay their way to get there. From the start, it was a trick to get these men into the Crown Guard and then have them be knighted by a king later, reversing the normal procedure.

It seems that the person who’s coming in today is also like that. He has already received a knighthood, and thanks to that, he’ll be joining the Royal Guard Division, which is a knight order. Claudio doesn’t know which House this dandy belongs to, but she can’t forgive him for joining the Royal Guard Division because he paid for his title as a knight, rather than gaining any achievements as a soldier or a vassal to a lord.

In the first place, wouldn’t it be better to join the Crown Guard? Those bodyguards are famous as the Dandy Knights, and even higher-ranking, powerful nobles want to it to become close to the royal family. There are almost no nobles who enter the Royal Guard Division, due to it being made of battle-hardened soldiers who’re trained for actual combat than ceremonies.

Claudio doesn’t know if he was refused entry into the Crown Guard for some reason or other, but he bought his knighthood, and since the Crown Guard was no good, he must have thought it would be fine to join the Royal Guard Division instead. She didn’t much care for the exact circumstances of this dandy.

Claudia, or rather, Claudio, waited for that new guy in the corridor leading to the training ground, and once she saw him, she thought that boy was so good-looking he might have been mistaken for a girl. He doesn’t look very different from her in age. It is not difficult to imagine that he must have been a fairly large House’s dandy brat because he is wearing a beautifully tailored formal suit.

“I am Floto von Caan,” he said. “I was recently knighted. And now, I come here today because I have been assigned to the Royal Guard Division if I am not mistaken?”

“Eh! You?!” Claudio cried.

She thought that a noble dandy who’d bought his position would be coming, but she never thought that such a beautiful kid would arrive instead. Normally, even if you are young, you can’t join the Royal Guard Division until you’re old enough to graduate from the noble’s academy in the royal capital. Claudia was surprised that it was a child who was no different than her.

Somehow, Claudio regained her composure and headed to the training ground with a boy named Floto. Originally, the training of the Imperial Guard Division was supposed to be temporarily suspended here, and it was supposed to be an introduction and greeting for the new recruit. However, Claudio invited Floto to a mock battle. She thought she’d sneakily bring him to a corner of the training ground and blow away this noble brat’s honorable airs.

She can tell that he’s injured because his right arm is in a sling. She thought he would turn down the mock battle because of his injury, but he unexpectedly accepted, much to Claudio’s dismay. Is he confident that he can win against Claudio even with one arm?

Even if you didn’t want to, if you’re doing a mock battle, the people around you will notice it going on. So she thought she’d let Floto know that there was no place for him in the Imperial Guard Division, which was a knight order built for war.

Floto came unarmed, Claudio gave him the chance to pick a weapon of his choice. She thought that nobles would choose a gorgeous sword to show off, but Floto chose a cutlass that was undecorated and practical. If one arm is useless, it is reasonable to choose a cutlass that is light and easy to handle. Claudio had slightly changed her opinion of Floto as she faced him with her custom-made short sword.

Claudio, who had never lost to her peers, had been completely beaten down. She tried to hit Floto, found him good at parrying, then switched to compact blows and unleashed a flurry of strikes to try to overwhelm him, but in the end, he wasn’t even out of breath.

It’s a total defeat. That was it. Despite this, Floto held out his hand to Claudio with a refreshing smile. After hearing this, Claudio became embarrassed about how small she was.

Floto showed his strength. Even though he had only one arm, he is undefeated with same-age opponents. Claudio, who is the head of the squires of the Imperial Guard Division, couldn’t do anything against him. He’s definitely not a dandy who bought his position with money.

Even so, she didn’t recognize his ability and lived to regret it. She suddenly felt ashamed of what a petty warrior she was. And he finally understood that Floto, who would extend his hand to her after the match was over, was a true knight.

Thinking that Claudio took Floto’s hand, and Floto looked blank for a moment, then turned a little red and gently pulled Claudio back up. That shy smile was wonderful… Claudio returned to her senses just when she thought that.

What was she thinking of? Claudio was acting as a man and it’s disgusting to fall in love with another man. A man must like girls. Otherwise, what was the point of those 4 years of suffering, of those 3 years of effort?

Floto is a good guy. It’s just that he’s a good guy regardless of whether he’s male or female or in love with a woman. Now, Claudia was just a man named Claudio, and it was disgusting to say that he had homosexual love for another boy. Claudia was desperately convincing herself.

More than 2 months have passed since Floto came to the Royal Guard Division. Recently, they’ve spent a lot of time walking together in the royal capital, both during training and in their off time, alone together. Spending time with Floto is very enjoyable and relaxing. Just looking at the smile of the handsome boy Floto, who always feels so warm and gentle, heals Claudio.

However, recently, she’s been worried about Floto’s complexion sometimes not looking too good even when they’re walking together in the royal capital. Maybe he doesn’t enjoy walking with her. When she thought about that, Claudia felt a pain in her chest.

So, she tried being a little mean. Floto, who seems to have not yet fully recovered the use of his injured arm, always trains with a separate regime. She wanted to peck at him and be a little rough with him.

“Fuu! You have it so good, eh, Floto?! All you do is easy training because you’re injured,” Claudio said.

“Good work,” Floto replied.

Claudio tried to be sarcastic, but Floto just showed his usual soft smile and didn’t get angry. Claudia looked at Floto with a resentful look, wondering if Floto was just like that.

“Wah!” Claudia yelled. “The hell are you doing all of a sudden?!”

Despite that, Floto didn’t seem to care about Claudia’s bad attitude and wiped her sweat with a towel on her head. When Floto did that, Claudia’s chest pounded, and her heart throbbed.

Claudio is supposed to be a man and Floto is also a man and it’s disgusting for a man to fall in love with another man.

Her head thinks so, but her heart doesn’t follow it. Even if she doesn’t like it, she’s made aware of her feelings. She thinks about Floto…

“Is that really so shocking?” I said. “Why don’t you rest here, yeah?”

“He-Hey, stop that!”

Then, her heart almost launched out of her chest when Floto touched her shoulder. She can’t fall in love with Floto anymore. With that in mind, she desperately shook off his hand.

“Sorry……”

As he pulled his hand back, Floto looked surprised for a moment before he suddenly looked sad and apologized.

(You’ve got it wrong! No! I’m the one to blame for making Floto look like this!)

“Oh… no… I’m sorry…” Claudio choked out in apology.

She really wanted to hug Floto tightly. She wanted her to pat his head and walk with him on her shoulders. But that’s not right… so she forgets everything. She thinks so, but it’s not so. Her mind doesn’t work the way she wants it to.

“What is this, what is this?! Are you two touchy-feely brats always going to have your little lover’s quarrels?!”

Without reading the atmosphere, Division Commander Horst interrupted. If Floto heard those words, and if he knew how she felt, he would think that Claudia was disgusting again. Now, she’s a man and Floto is a man too. She tells herself that it’s disgusting to be in love with someone of the same sex.

“Who’s touchy-feely?! Don’t call it a lover’s quarrel! It’s disgusting!”

All she could do was put up a facade of bravado and shout that. She doesn’t have confidence that she could speak well if Horst came back with something after that. But it was a baseless worry.

“…… Sorry”

Floto, with a shocked face and flat tone, left the training ground in a flurry. Commander Horst said, “Ah…” and scratched his head, then staring at the fleeing Floto like Horst was at a loss. And Claudia could only see Floto’s back as he fled, feeling like her chest was tight.