Chapter 1136： Living up to Tathagata, Living up to Qing

Bai Xuanyu would talk about this topic with his own son, a little bit embarrassed, don't look away, and muttered: "Yizhen's parents are in love with each other, and there is no place for me between them."

"So, you gave up altogether. It can't be regarded as giving up. You just pressed your friendship to the bottom of your heart, and always gave her a place in your heart, didn't you?" Bai Ruqing said this and finally got a little excited. "Then why did you marry my mother? Why did you marry her if you didn't love her? Just because she loves you? Just because she loves you, you deserve to be ruined by you!"

When Bai Xuanyu heard Bai Ruqing say this, he lowered his head even further, but still said in a muffled voice: "I do feel guilty to your mother, but I can guarantee that I have never done anything to be sorry to your mother. "

"Then tell me honestly, after marrying my mother, even after giving birth to me, do you still like Aunt Cui in your heart?"

Bai Xuanyu opened his mouth, but after all he couldn't say anything, he was speechless.

Seeing him like this, Bai Ruqing wanted to cry and laugh, and felt a little sad for some reason: "My mother once said that you gave me the name Bai Ruqing. It was taken from a poem, and there is such a sentence in the poem: "Let's live up to it." Tathagata lives up to the Qing'. This poem basically means that if a cultivator is emotional, he will be sorry for the Buddha, but if he is not emotional, he will be sorry for the woman who loves him deeply."

"At that time, you gave me this name. Many people think that you gave me this name because you love my mother very much. But only those who really understand the relationship between you and my mother know that you gave me this name. , It’s because you didn’t love my mother at all at that time, you only have guilt and no feelings for her."

Bai Xuanyu did not respond to these words of Bai Ruqing, as if tacitly acquiescing to the truthfulness of his words, and finally only asked: "It is because of this that you start to hate Yizhen?"

"Yes." Bai Ruqing faced this question for the first time in so many years, "I envy him more jealously of him, why we grew up together, his parents love each other so much, but my parents seem to be divorced, even my mother. He was also depressed because of these things, but his mother got my dad’s heart. What a irony. Fortunately, I really believed the words of those people at the time, thinking that my mother died so young because of illness."

"I was too negligent and didn't take into account your mother's mood. I was not considerate enough and didn't find out what was wrong with her earlier, which made her live so hard during that time. But all this is my fault, it is me. You auntie Cui didn't know that I had liked her from the beginning to the end, and Yizhen didn't even know that there was such a thing. If you want to blame, just blame me, why bother to anger others?"

"Do you think I don't want to? But I can't do it. As soon as I see him, I will unconsciously think of his mother, and then think of my mother's skinny appearance before her death. I am not as broad-minded as you think, every time As long as I see you treat Huo Yizhen well, I will unconsciously think, why do you treat him so well? Why do you care more about him than your own son? Just because he is the son of the one you love What about me? What am I? A poor person who just means you have a failed marriage when you call it.