Chapter One Hundred and Twelve - Teach a Dragon To Fish...

Chapter One Hundred and Twelve - Teach a Dragon To Fish...

Chapter One Hundred and Twelve - Teach a Dragon To Fish...

Hello mister mayor! I said as I approached the round-tummied mayor. The man was standing next to a large gathering of guards and warriors and adventurer-looking folk, fiddling with his hat with one hand while squishing a kerchief with the other.

The man looked at me. In fact, nearly all of them looked at me. Miss Bunch? he said. Is it gone? Did you get the dragon to leave?

Ah, well, not quite, I said. I bounced to a stop before him, then rocked back and forth on my heels. So, Ive been talking to the dragon--

You can talk dragon? someone asked.UppTodated from nô/v/e/lb(i)n.c(o)/m

And weve come to something of a solution! Its great. See, the dragon, uh... I paused. Would the truth work with all of these people? Probably not, but I wasnt a liar so... My friends and I are teaching the dragon how to date girls.

The clanking of so much armour shifting about as the nervous guards burned off their jitters stopped. Now I was sure that all of them were looking at me.

M-miss Bunch, could you... explain? the mayor asked.

Im pretty sure its because, deep down, Rhawrexdee is a romantic. So, we made a bargain with him. Well teach him how to date and such, and he wont, um, eat everyone, rain thunder and lightning down upon our heads, and then bathe in the afterglow of the burning town. Oh, and he wont steal your gold either.

The mayor swallowed. So, you will, ah, bring the dragon out of Rosenbell, and teach it there? the mayor asked. There was a lot of hope in his eyes.

I kinda felt bad about dashing it. Not quite. See, to practice we need a realistic environment. And Rosenbell is quite nice. I tried making my smile more reassuring.

The mayor dabbed at his forehead. Youre taking a dragon, onto a date, in my town?

Thats the gist of it? I said.

Are you quite mad, Miss Bunch? The mayor asked with surprising calm.

I shook my head. Not even a little, I said. We, and by we I mean you, could always tell the dragon that his practice date is cancelled.

The mayor dabbed at his forehead some more. What do you need from us? he asked.

Just make sure all the shops and such are still open? And that people are very nice and polite. You know, normal things.

But towards a dragon.

Yes, exactly.

The mayor looked towards the guard that had the fanciest hat around. I will see what I can do, he offered.

Brilliant! Im gonna go back and make sure that everyone is copacetic. I flashed them a thumbs up, then bounced back towards the centre of town.

When I arrived, it was to find Rhawrexdee nodding his big head along to something that Booksie was saying. Yes, I think that would be for the best, he said. His eyes snapped to the side and he focused on me as I approached. You... the formerly human one. The other one, that is currently a human, has agreed to make me some clothes that I may look even more resplendent when I do begin dating for real.

I blinked, then looked over to Awen who was busy linking and unlinking her fingers. Oh? Thats great! I said. And her name is Awen. And mine is Broccoli.

Mmm, yes, but your names dont matter, do they? he asked.

I felt my ears flopping to the side as I tilted my head in thought. They kind of do. Would you go on a date with someone without even knowing her name?

Would her name matter more than her virginity and princessness? he wondered.

I nodded. Oh yeah. I think people care a lot more about their names than either of those. They might not be important to you, but theyre important to her.

Rhawrexdee let out a long, warm breath. Yes, I suppose even the characters in the stories have names. But the names you little ones have are all so droll.

I have. Its a classic.

The dragon huffed. Its alright. The actual story is dull and tripe.

Yes, but the prose, Booksie rebutted.

Rhawrexdee hummed. Ill give you that much, the prose is quite well done. Especially the scenes where the lovers meet in secret.

Those are the best parts, Booksie agreed. Did you read the authors other works? Flora of Stained Winters and Plants in Muddy Summer?

Ive read Winters, but I could never find the last one. The copies are difficult to find. The dragons eyes narrowed. How did you find one?

Booksie looked down and away. I owned a bookstore. I got to hoard quite a few classics over the years.

A hoard of books? Impressive... what was your name again?

Booksie. My friends call me Booksie.

Rhawrexdee showed his teeth in what I suspect was a smile. Good. Im glad youre well-read, Booksie, you can better translate my prose for me.

Ill do my best. Booksie bowed at the waist, then started to translate to a more and more horrified Amaryllis.

While she did so, Rhawrexdee shifted to be closer to me. I can see why you wanted to delay for some days. Obtaining such an expert was a good call. She seems far better suited to getting the meaning of my words across than you.

Uh. Thanks. I think? I waited for Booksie to be done and for the look of disgust to wear off Amaryllis face before I clapped my hands. Okay, now the two of you can start the date with a little walk. Just along the shops, I think.

And I will ramsack any store for the precious gems and gold that catches her eye, Rhawrexdee said.

Ah. That, that depends on the girl, I think. Some women arent into... gems, and stuff.

The dragon was looking at me with pure doubt in his big eyes.

I mean, you should establish what the woman finds important while walking with her, right? Maybe shes a gold and gems kind of girl, but maybe shes more interested in other things. I like hanging out with my friends, Booksie here likes a good book. Not all girls are the same. In fact, theyre pretty much all different.

How strange. My research led me to believe there were only four or five archetypes to deal with. Are you quite certain?

Very, I said.

Thats unfortunate. I had pegged Amaryllis as the feisty sort with a heart of gold. I will have to rethink my entire plan for wooing her.

Booksie tittered, which gained her the dragons attention. Im afraid that not everyone fits neatly into the same sort of categories as a character in a book. At least, the best characters also fail to fit into neat categories too, so maybe its not all bad.

I suppose not, Rhawrexdee said. I will merely have to put my great intellect to work to find a solution as we date.

If you dont mind me asking, sir Rhawrexdee, how did you come to be so well-read?

The dragon looked a little contrite. Ah, well, I have difficulty reading the tiny books you little people make, so I invented something I call an audio book.

Oh? A sort of magic? Booksie wondered. Library magic always fascinated me!

Likewise! But no. An audio book is when you find someone that can read and translate a book at the same time, usually a scholar, and then kidnap them so that they can read to you. I like listening to... mature and interesting books during long flights.

Oh, thats... clever.

Isnt it? he said with obvious pride. My sister, Cholondee, mocked me, but then she got herself hooked on all these alternate tales of historical figures written by fanatics. Disgusting filth I say! He shook his head as if to clear it. But that is all quite besides the point. Lets start this thing, shall we?

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