"If I am able to achieve such perfection, then I wouldn't be like me. Am I still Yun Zhiqiu? You really don't understand me. "Don't do it again. What I want is not a real slave, do you understand?"
She wept more and nodded vigorously. "Understood."
I sighed and went to help her up. "Don't kneel anymore. If you kneel for too long, your feet will go numb. I have never treated you as a servant. Just don't look down on yourself."
When I leave the palace, I must leave it for a moment.
Many concubines had come to pay their respects at the imperial palace. Lu Yao had restrained his previous gorgeous appearance. His plain makeup carried a touch of elegance and elegance, and he had an impeccable smile on his face.
I felt a bit uneasy, and it wasn't easy for me to wait for everyone to take their leave before I heaved a sigh of relief.
However, when Lu Yao heard what I had to say, he didn't quite agree. "Zhiqiu, are you really going? I advise you not to leave the palace. "
"I have to find him." I insisted.
She narrowed her eyes slightly and said in a low voice, "Zhiqiu, you should know that there's a high chance that this was done by someone else under the Emperor's orders."
Hearing Lu Yao's words, my heart filled with bitterness. I bit my sore lips and replied, "I think I already knew last night, but I have to go. I was the one who dragged him down."
Lu Yao smiled, "Don't worry. There's no use being anxious right now. Some things are destined to happen."
I sneered. "Definitely. If it wasn't for him, how would there be such a determinant?"
She shook her head in disapproval and said, "You still have such a stubborn personality. Even if you wanted to touch the dark, you still had to walk to the end. After staying in the palace for so long, I thought you had learned how to turn, but you are still the same. Is the Emperor something we can say? Zhi Qiu, just accept your fate after entering the palace. "
"I don't." I raised my chin. "Although he is the Emperor, he is not a god. "If you're wrong, you're wrong. You want me to hold his feet and say that he's wise? That's absolutely impossible."
"Alright, I know you're stubborn. I'll give you your identity card. About that, bring me some delicious food when you come back." She blinked and swallowed her saliva. "I want to die from the snacks outside. It's so tasteless to eat too much in the palace. Also, you can't stay here forever. If you escape, I'll be in trouble."
I said flatly, "I can't go, really."
Little by little, they have already entangled me. I can't throw away the little prince who is still in his cradle.
Holding the medallion Lu Yao had given him, he deliberately avoided his path towards the next assembly, allowing his father-in-law to carry the sedan in his hand and go out through the back door privately.
I remember that my senior is in the capital, and his father is in the imperial court, so his family background is pretty good.
However, when they arrived, the door was closed and no one came in.
The eunuch knocked on the door for a long time, but no one answered. He slowly found it strange and told the eunuch to ask the house owner, but he didn't know the news.
One by one, they asked, "I don't believe that no one knows about the Lou Residence."
After a long while, one of the peddlers said, "The Lou Residence left a few days ago. They left in a hurry to take up their duties in the south. The whole family went together."
"Have they all left?" I still didn't give up.
"That's right, we all left or we all left in a hurry. No one was able to tell us."
I felt bitter in my heart. Don't tell me you want me to apologize? Sorry, eldest senior brother, it was me who caused you so much trouble.
Perhaps it was because of the conflict, but my heart hurt when I looked at the people who passed by. I was still unwilling to leave, I really hoped that I could see my eldest senior brother in the blink of an eye.
"Empress, you're pale. Why don't you return to the palace first?" the palace maid whispered.
I shook my head, still reluctant to go, and stared at the closed door.
The monotonous sound of the zither was buried in the noise. The more he quietly listened, the clearer he became.
The eldest senior brother had yet to leave and was staying in an inn not far from home. When I went up to meet him, he smiled at me and said, "Why did you run out of the palace?"
The fog came into my eyes and I said sadly, "I'm sorry, Senior Brother."
He rolled his eyes at me. "What are you crying for? Oh right, I am about to leave, because my father went to the south to take over the position, and my mother only had me as her son, so she could not bear to see me threaten her with my death. I have no choice but to quit the musician and go with my father to the south, and I can finally get rid of you.
I pulled out his left hand, which he had deliberately put behind him. It was wrapped in white gauze, and his index finger was flat.
The more tears flowed, the more ashamed he felt. "Senior Brother, I have harmed you. I will return my finger to you."
"Are you looking for a beating?" "If you dare hurt yourself, I'll hate you. I'll start learning how to hate you, and if I keep hating you, I'll drag you down with me."
I covered my mouth. Why didn't you blame me? Senior Brother, playing the zither is your favorite thing to do.
"Zhiqiu, I know you will definitely come looking for me. I'll tell my mother that I'll only leave if I see you."
"I'm sorry." I am so sad, I can't say anything but these three words.
He raised his eyebrows and said, "Yun Zhiqiu, there are many people in this world who can play the zither with their ten fingers. It's not surprising that they can play well. Only with nine fingers can one truly play well."
"Don't be sad, keep your tears." He put on a straight face, "I hate women who cry the most. She really has no backbone. The Yun Zhiqiu I know is that woman who will not cry no matter how tired she is. Don't tell me that once you enter the palace, you're not her?"
I wiped my eyes and gave him a big smile.
He also laughed. "That's good then. Why are you crying? If you have nothing to do, help me pack up. I'm going to the south to start my new life. Leaving here is actually just a temporary start." He sat down and looked at me in confusion.
I folded his clothes and laid them on the bed. He was going away, probably never to come back, but I felt around with my hands. Nothing was mine.
"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.
"I'll find something for you."
He laughed out loud. "Just showing me your smile is the best gift you can give me."
As I approached him, he sat while I stood. I took his hand and lightly kissed the white gauze. "Senior Brother, you're too arrogant."
He sighed, "Yes, senior brother is too arrogant, we can always catch him, but in the blink of an eye, he has completely changed. In his next life, he will definitely learn from this lesson, and when he meets a woman who is pleasing to his eyes, I will immediately send someone to propose to her."
I watched him put the instrument on his back and tried to smile, trying not to cry.
When he reached the door, he turned around and said hoarsely, "Zhi Qiu, take good care of yourself. You must be happy to let me down, okay?"
I nodded my head so hard that tears rolled down my cheeks.
He laughed in a low voice and gently wiped my tears with his thumb. "Every drop of a woman's tears is precious. Remember not to cry easily in the future. Don't think about me, Yun Zhiqiu. If it's because I made you lose your happiness, then that's not my intention. Let me admit this now, you are very smart.
If he says no, then I won't.
"I read those letters. Sometimes I wish you had written them." "But I know it can't be you." His breath caressed my face, and my lips quivered in fear and confusion. However, his kiss didn't land on my lips. Instead, it landed on my shoulder. "Take care."
He walked away without hesitation, and from the window I saw him striding down the street with his harpsichord on his back, and the crowd slowly engulfing him and taking him away.
He stayed behind just to wait for me, but he was afraid that I wouldn't see him, and he would feel ashamed for the rest of his life. Since when did he already know what I was thinking, and how well I understood it?
He grew smaller and smaller until I couldn't see anything. I wanted to go after him and hold on to the windowsill with both hands. Maybe it was better to leave, the capital was full of fireworks, but dreams were too inappropriate.
He bit his lips and looked up at the wall.
After sending the palace maid to buy Lu Yao's favorite food, I went back in a daze in my sedan chair.
I really want him to smack me on the head and tell me, in a nasty voice, that if you stay away from me, you'll be out of luck being with you, and I'll feel better about it.
Lou Fengming, a man as tall as a zither, madly loved the zither. He wanted to become the first zither master to be renowned throughout the imperial court.
If you leave, you can still have your dreams elsewhere, but I'm still here, and there can't be anyone in the palace who dreams.
He returned to the palace, exhausted, and sat in his study, staring at the zither.
The touch of my face against the piano was painful, and I drew back my forefinger and played it with all four fingers.
I stood up and resolutely said, "It was because of Aunt that I lost this zither."
Maybe it was because I was angry with her, so I didn't dare ask about it and just carried the guqin out.
I fiercely read books, fiercely ate meals, wrote furiously, and slept fiercely while covering my blanket. May was so beautiful with the fragrance of flowers wafting in the air. But this May, I saw tears on the petals, and tasted its bitterness.
The lakewater without the lotus leaves rippled and rippled. It was dazzling and seemed somewhat scorching hot, but I knew that if I extended my hand, I would feel the cool sensation of the water. I really wanted to jump into the water to feel if the water was too cold to breathe.
It can be very gentle, quietly let the wind blowing brow, it can also gently entangle you under its water, seize your air let you suffocate in its arms. As for him, he is water. When he faces me, he is gentle and passionate, but his nature is cold and heartless.
The crying of a baby was the most sincere emotion in this palace. There was no need to hide anything; he could only cry, cry when he was unhappy, cry when he was not happy, cry if he wanted to pee, cry if he wanted to drink milk. Lord, you are still better off than a child. No matter how much you hate or feel sad, you can't show it.
"The Emperor has arrived." The loud and clear voice frightened the Prince so much that he wanted to squint his eyes and start crying again.
I gently rocked the little cradle, softly coaxing him: "Don't cry, don't cry, be good."
As soon as he entered the ball, he automatically walked far away and ran to the corner to hide.
"How virtuous." He made fun of me with a smile, not at all blaming me for not welcoming you.
Remembering what my senior told me when he left, he asked me to be happy. I wanted to laugh at him as if nothing had happened. So many people wanted me to be happy, but it was difficult for me to be calm. I sighed and said, "I hate you. How can you do that? How can you be so cruel? "
He didn't speak, he didn't get angry, he just hugged me tightly from behind.
"Let me go." My teeth itched with hate.
He's bullying me! Now that I'm hugging the prince, I can't struggle as hard as I can, right? I raised my foot and stomped hard on the ground.
I glared back at him and said angrily, "You're really vicious. I realized that I really don't know you. The longer I look at you, the more I find you unbelievable."
"I love you, I love you."
"Don't hurt yourself with this love, you selfish thing." I stepped on him, and I wanted to jump up and stomp down.
He grabbed my waist to stop me from stepping on him, instead he said in a low voice, "I don't like you being with other men, nor do I like you. You're mine, and only belong to me.
"If you weren't the Emperor, do you know what I would have done first?" I looked at him coldly. "If that's what you mean by love, I'm sorry, I can't love, I can't bear it."
You belong to me, you will always belong to me alone. I will never let you go in my life, but if I die, you will never live, do you understand this kind of love?
It was so heavy, so heavy that I couldn't feel his feelings. The tip of his foot touched the ground as he twisted his body away from the man's embrace. He was too selfish, too exclusive.
"You, as a high and mighty man, will never understand how we feel. You will never know how happy and bitter Lin Shangyi was the moment he left the palace. You will never know how big of a blow it is for a zither master to lose his index finger. You are the emperor, you can call the wind and summon the rain, you can do anything you want to anyone, you can use any means you want to deal with anyone, including me.
He raised his eyebrows and walked to the window to look at the green lotus.
Silently, without saying a word, my heart was still angry with him. He said the repressed matter in his heart in such a manner, and it was bitter and astringent.
What is love? Did he really understand?
My master and mistress respected each other. If he wasn't the emperor, I would have really gone to the palace to beg for help. I wasn't willing to give him to me, so how far would I have gone?
So it turns out that Lu Yao saw what I was thinking, and in my heart, I really wanted to run far away.
If it's love again, then his monopolization really scared me.
He didn't say anything, he didn't say anything. He always thought he was right, and I was trying to pick a fight with him.