Chapter 656 – Birthday Newman 12 – President and Entertainer

Chapter 656 – Birthday Newman 12 – President and Entertainer

“Alright, this thing seems to be on,” John spoke into the microphone in front of him. It was a regular desk microphone often found on events, a thin thing with good quality, connected via a bendable cable with a broad socket. He moved it around a little bit so he didn’t have to bend forwards to such an uncomfortable degree.

Down the long table, Rave, Lydia, Gnome and Aclysia (sitting in that order from his position) were doing the same. The white blanket was whispering a little as it was pulled along with all the adjustments. In front of them, the people filled the rows of seats that had been put up, some more standing along the sides. It was a rather typical convention panel in its design.

“Everyone ready?” he asked down the table and got numerous signals. His girlfriend gave him a thumbs-up, Lydia solemnly nodded as she poured herself a glass of water, Gnome fumbled around (looking as ready as she possibly could be), while Aclysia nodded a bit mechanically. John turned his attention to the crowd. “Hello everyone, welcome to today’s Q and A. I hope you’re all comfortable and ready to ask us a few questions. We may go on massive tangents, that’s part of the program. If you have a question, do please form a line at either side of the seats, we will take questions from each side. Only one question per person and please keep things brief.”

“Disclaimer,” Aclysia chimed in, getting all of the technical announcements out of the way. “This event is being live streamed and you will be clearly visible while asking a question. This event is not suitable for minors, adult topics can and likely will be discussed. This is not a press event. Journalists are advised to be patient until their turn at the gathering with my John tomorrow at 4:30 PM. The panel withholds the right to not take questions. This goes especially for Lydia, who refuses to comment on anything that could, in any way, go against German interests. We thank you for your understanding.”

“Coolio, that all the announcement stuff?” Rave asked, looking around.

“Well, I think we should also introduce ourselves properly,” John responded. “People are probably aware of who I am, just taking a wild guess, but the rest of you aren’t on the screen that often or not around here. So why don’t we tell everyone who we are, what we do and why we decided to be on this panel?”

“Sure,” his girlfriend agreed, “ya go ahead, show us how it’s done, tiger.”

“Alright, so I am John Newman, the Gamer,” he fluidly took the invitation. “Although some people mistakenly call me the Player sometimes, which annoys me on some level, but it’s not wholly inaccurate, given...” He gestured towards the right and at the four other girls sharing the panel with him. “Anyway, I am the guild master of Collide and in turn the founder and president of the federation known as Fusion. I am attending this panel today so you regular people can directly speak to me without being at the mercy of my spam filters or the media.”

Looking to his right, he gave the signal to his girlfriend that it was her turn. She fluidly took it. “Cheers,” her chirpy tone echoed into the microphone. “I am Rave, real name Jane Hollmey, I am the girlfriend of this guy, future fiancé and I just do whatever I feel like to improve Fusion. I came ‘cause this sounded fun. Hope your questions don’t prove me wrong.” She winked and passed the momentum on to the next person in line.

“Lydia Augusta the Fourth of house Hohenzollern, Empress of Germany,” the same went directly into it. “I shall spare you the length of my other titles, with respect to the casual atmosphere. My reasoning for attending is to properly clarify things, should topics be raised I think my input is needed on.”

There were several moments of silence, before Gnome realized it was her turn. “I-i-I-” She gulped so loudly the microphone picked it up. “I am Gnome, uh, the first of John’s contracted elementals and kind of the leader of us? I’m here to represent us in these questions...” her voice trailed off into a mumble, “...Sally forced me to... because she wanted someone there and every other candidate was... Sylph....” With a furious blush, she realized she was still talking out loud and gestured wildly. “N-n-not that t-t-that those two are bad or something! I am totally okay to be here! Happy to answer your questions!” The crowd seemed amused at her behaviour, people giggling and mumbling. It had the predictable effect on Gnome. “Uhm, uh, uwu... uwuwuwu... uwuwuwuwuwu...”

There was something like a collective “D’aaaawwww,” from the crowd, John and Rave included, watching the embarrassed cuddle rock shift in her seat and, bright red, look down on her lap. Unable to resist the urge, John got up and patted her on the head until she calmed down. Meanwhile, the last member of the panel got her introduction out of the way.

“Aclysia, Artificial Spirit created by and head servant of my master John Newman. Attending to prevent journalists from daring to jeopardize this question and answer panel,” the white-haired maid declared.

“Introductions out of the way,” John continued, once he had returned to his seat, “let’s start things right up, left side start. Do not try to take the microphone from the handler, please.”

The order was obliged; the first person stepped up. “Okay, so, hello everyone,” the person, a guy in his mid-thirties, said. Immediately, John knew that his request for briefness would not be obliged in this case. He had seen enough Q&A panels in his time to not be surprised by this. People just loved to say more than necessary. “I just want to say, happy birthday to you, President Newman, and thank you for all you’re doing.”

“All of it?” John couldn’t help but be joking. “Hey, don’t forget that I make you pay taxes. I wouldn’t thank me for that.” That got a few chuckles, including from the (somewhat nervous) guy standing there.

Abyssals were hardened to threats to their life, but public speaking was its own beast entirely. “Uhm, yeah, anyway, I wanted to ask a number of things, but given my place in the queue, I think I should ask the most obvious thing for everyone else waiting: how old did you get today?”

“I am nineteen now,” John answered swiftly, somewhat surprised that that got the people murmuring. ‘Guess my age hasn’t been broadly known,’ he thought. ‘To be fair, I look like I could be anything between 18 and 24, what with my high Charisma and all of that.’

“I know right,” Rave laughed at the reaction of the crowd. “This guy doesn’t act like nineteen at all anymore. Somebody of that age shouldn’t have that many accomplishments!”

“Hey, when you have to ship around incredibly small army contingents with modern mobility options, it’s not that impressive anymore,” John tried to downplay it, but only a little bit. “Imagine if Alexander the Great had been able to transport his troops by train and could have bought all necessary supplies at a local Walmart, or something like that. Modern warfare is a tad quicker and magic just accelerates things further.”

“Ya saying it ain’t impressive?” His girlfriend poked at his shoulder. “Ya not gonna be like ‘Yeah, you should all kiss my prideful ass’?”

“I am saying it’s realistically plausible,” he responded, sitting as tall as he could. “Not that anybody but me could have done it. Well, other people could have, with the right combination of drive, power and competence.”

“Which was a supreme day of my life,” John added with a nostalgic smile. “I would have stayed with her if she had said no. I mean, look at her. Plus, I was less than I am now back then. That she said yes was like a gift from heaven.”

“Ya mean ‘my girlfriend is like a gift from heaven’.”

“I try not to state the obvious too much.” John grinned, standing up to cross the little distance and kiss her.

The person asking looked mostly surprised and happy by that answer. They were likely one of the more conservatively minded individuals in his federation, the Gamer realized. Hearing all of this wasn’t just based on lust from five sources across two questions must have been quite nice.

Suddenly, something aligned. The way people sat and his own standing position in the room all made sense in a forceful way. An intense feeling of deja vu hit him. It didn’t even take him a second to guess what was going on.

He turned around before there was a scream. The knife that was meant for his open back instead found his hand. Sparks of mana flew, as Particle Skin activated and made it possible for John to grab the sharp edge of the weapon like it was nothing and yank it away. Beatrice rushed up from the background to pin the assailant to the floor.

Confused mumblings started, nobody quite sure what was happening. John looked down on the attacker, a man with dishevelled hair and a gaunt look on his face. Observe quickly placed him as a non-important drug addict, his weapon was a bog-standard kitchen knife. To the Gamer, both of these were about as threatening as a mouse was to a lion.

“Hand him over to the authorities,” he told Beatrice, after he was sure he was dealing with a normal crazy person, thinking they should make their mark on history by assaulting someone important. Nothing that he had to deal with personally. ‘Interesting that that’s what the vision showed,’ John thought. The threat clearly wasn’t the man, so could it have been the way he might have overreacted if he hadn’t known about the attack?

He could have broken that guy’s neck with a self-defending swipe of his arm. Not to mention how Aclysia could have reacted. Neither things that would have looked good on running cameras. ‘Threatening’ was really too vague to make easy conclusions.

‘Security must be stretched because I ordered so many of them to stand by Marathyu,’ he analyzed, then turned to the panel, quickly explained what had happened, and then urged people to continue as if nothing had happened. Nobody had gotten hurt, so there was no reason to inconvenience themselves.

The next question was right up his alley and put the mood of the Q&A back into casual mode. “So, what is your favourite observable moment about the female physique in motion?”

“Now that’s something I haven’t thought about too much,” John hummed. “Specifically things I can see when they move on their own... Well, the obvious answer is ‘hate to see her leave, love to watch her go’ – you know, me being an ass man and all that. Close second is that moment when a girl with nice thighs sits down and does that squishy thing where they broaden out. Hard to describe, but I think you know what I mean.”

Nodding, the speaker stepped away from the microphone. “Hey,” the person for the next question spoke up. “So, I have heard you’re into 40k-“ Rave groaned out loud and slumped forwards on the table in a dramatic fashion.

“Ignore her, she has an intense dislike of the franchise,” John told everyone. “She might be straight from heaven, but, unlike her butt, she isn’t perfect.”

“How about ya get yourself a hobby that’s not all about people shouting EMPRAAAAAH and talking about stupid perks and damage rolls for hours?” Rave grumbled, head lying on the table. “Dad played that stuff with literally anybody he could at any hour he could. Raw boredom.”

“Well, that’s your opinion, honey,” John stated in a playfully motherly tone.

“Don’t tease me, Johnny, just get that question over with.”

John gestured towards the person, who then continued, “Right... So, since you’re into 40k, is there a chance to meet you during gatherings where we play?”

“I have to admit that I haven’t played it a lot. I only got enough money to get into the hobby proper once I got into the Abyss. Which says a lot about the prices for the miniatures, I suppose... Anyway, I was more of a lore enthusiast. I would be open to attending such events once I have less stuff to deal with. Can’t really give you a definitive answ-“

He stared at the window in front of him intensely for several seconds. The words didn’t imply that anything bad had happened. There was no direct cause for concern or reason to rush over. However, he still wanted to see Eliza as quickly as he could because of this. “Sorry, I have to end it here, something important just came up,” he told everyone, the crowd starting a series of disappointed and surprised mumbles. “I’ll make it up at the second panel later, I promise.”

A few questions couldn’t measure up to the importance of the pretty little psycho.