CH 2

“It’s nice.”

I was stuck with admiration. I had been to a lot of tourist beaches, but I had never been to a free rural beach like that. The wind was mixed with salty smell, the sidewalk was hogged by dried fish which were arranged in a line and on the sandy beach, some three tanned kids played around. Hajin, sat with his knees gathered in front of him and constantly muttered “It’s nice.” to himself. The scenery, which was rare in Seoul, was just beautiful.

At the same time, he felt frustrated. Such a beautiful and peaceful place existed, but how on earth did he live his life so tenaciously without knowing what he was dying for?

Hajin pressed on his defeated stomach with his palm. If you get cancer, it hurts to death, you get skinny because you can’t eat and your hair falls out. Perhaps, it might be because he didn’t get chemotherapy, he was strangely fine. Maybe it hadn’t started yet.

Hajin wasn’t too afraid. At first, he felt unfair, thinking “Why?” along with the question, “Why was it me?” but later, he didn’t think about it much. He  came to the conclusion that he  might have been the most useless out of all the hardworking people there are. Those who should stay should stay, and useless people like him should leave.

For more than an hour, he sat on the sandy beach as his skin brushed against the sea breeze. The sun was hit and his skin was stinging, but it was also worth enduring because it was the last summer he would experience. The thoughts that sprung up in his head, were not able to reach a clear closure and only craved for simple desires. Like how Hajin wanted to eat stir-fried kimchi with tofu.

“Why has the price of tofu gone up?”

Hajin  agreed with the woman who was grumbling beside him, carrying a shopping basket made of cloth. The tofu looked stiff for some reason so he chose the tofu which was in a pack and it cost as much as 2800 won.

It was not like Hajin was going to carry money to his grave so it had been a while since he  had thought to spend it without hesitation, but his head, which was used to materialism, felt off-balance and started to calculate the total price. He had kimchi at home and the only ingredient left was tofu, so he decided to buy it anyway. Overthinking about it was a waste of time. Hajin put a pack of tofu inside a large plastic shopping basket and headed to the checkout counter.

“Huh?”

There was a tall man who hurried to the pet corner. Hajin doubted what he saw so he blinked his eyes several times, but no matter how he saw it, he was the mannerless roommate. It was a mart quite far from his house so he wasn’t sure why he came that far, but actually it was no concern of his.

Hajin, who had been staring at his back, started walking again, and he heard the loud and husky voice of the man which he had become accustomed to, echoing behind him.

“Auntie!”

“Is there something you are looking for?”

“What does the cat eat?”

Hajin tried to pass by pretending he didn’t know him, but at that time, he turned his head again seeing how the man didn’t really hide his disdainful manner despite the place. The woman wearing the red apron was dumbfounded, and looked up at the man with a stiff face. The man was the only one who didn’t know what the problem was. He was holding a square can in his left hand and a round can in his left and with a menacing gaze, he asked again. Hajin gaped at him.

“I don’t know which one it is, because I am raising both cats and dogs. Which one does the cat eat?”

“Here…we use this one…”

I heard whispering around me. He was nearly 190 cm in stature, as if as tall as a mountain, and there was a deep scar under his eyebrow which helped him to pass off as a thug. No, he might be a thug. Hajin forgot to pay and stood there blankly, looking at the man and the aunt.

“Is this the cat’s one?”

“No. We use this one…that one is for dogs and this one’s for cats…”

“So I’m asking, can a cat eat this one?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Thanks.”

It must have been his habit to speak rudely. The man picked up the round can pointed by the lady and turned his back. Hajin came belatedly to his senses and quickly hid himself behind a shelf in case the man noticed him. The man strode quickly to the checkout counter and left the mart after paying for the can of cat food.

Hajin met the man again in front of the house. Hajin wandered around the mart for a long time to avoid encountering him, and because of that Hajin even bought eels and marinated meat which he had no plans of buying prior. Hajin saw the looming presence of the man in front of the wall and stopped walking.

“Meow. Meow.”

Above the brown wall, there was a calico cat, whom Hajin met on his first day of moving in. The cat seemed so used to being carried by human hands that it rubbed its head against the back of the man’s hand and perked its ears. The man smiled kindly and took out the can, opened the lid and held it towards the cat.

“Eat up and become fat. Chubby chubby.”

Looking at the cat, it was still obese, and if he gained any more weight, it would not be able to come down the wall. Hajin unnecessarily thought it was a new kind of animal abuse but anyway, the man watched the cat’s tongue flutter with proud eyes.

They seemed to be an unsuitable combination. Hajin looked at them for a while, and as he felt lightheaded under the intense sunlight, he quickly opened the front door. The man’s head turned at the sound of the door being unlocked but Hajin didn’t know of it.

“It smells so good. What are you making?”

The man who stayed outside for a while, came in smelling like the scent of heavy sweat he had on the first day. Hajin, who didn’t even hear him coming in, was sprinkling some sesame seeds on the finished kimchi fried rice, and shouted at the man’s sudden appearance. The man’s brow wrinkled.

“You surprised me.”

“Why did you suddenly put your face in front of me?”

“You weren’t answering.”

“I was cooking!”

“You don’t answer even when you are not cooking.”

He was stupid and ignorant, yet he knew his way around words. Hajin was speechless and snorted, “Hah, hah” sarcastically. In the meantime, the rude man picked up the biggest kimchi piece with his unwashed hands and put it in mouth. Hajin’s face was stained with disgust.

“It’s so fucking good!”

“You crazy…!”

“Let’s have one more!”

Even if you are unhygienic, there must be a limit of filthiness. With the hand that touched a stray cat, and without even washing it, he touched Hajin’s cooking. No, it was even wrong to eat kimchi with those hands in the first place. The man reached out with his hand again and Hajin instinctively hid the bowl behind his back. His eyebrows drooped.

“Wash your hands.”

“No…! Ha….!”

Even so, Hajin was a teacher before and he never feigned ignorance in that regard. He won several awards in debate contests and never lost a verbal fight. At that moment, Hajin recalled the saying, “Ignorant men are the scariest”. Hajin clicked his tongue in disappointment at the man who was aiming for the bowl.

“You are really shameless.”

“You fart with your nose.”

“Crazy…”

Hajin didn’t curse when he received the news that he was diagnosed with cancer. But that man had a strange talent. Even though it was childish to do so, he couldn’t help it. Hajin, who hid the kimchi bowl behind his back and avoided his attacks, screamed when he saw that the man’s attention had diverted to tofu which was in the pot.

“I will give you some but first clean your hands.”

Hajin wanted to throw all the tofu that the man touched anyway. But whether you throw it in the trash or in someone’s mouth, it’s the same, so he thought to cut up some tofu and give it to the man.

While Hajin thoroughly separated the dishes and served the food, the man who came after washing his hands sat at the table, clapping his hands wildly, shaking off the droplets. He wanted to ask him if he ever learned how to dry off his hands, but zipped up his lips.

“It looks delicious.”

“Here are your chopsticks.”

Even he mentioned it to him cautiously, but the man didn’t even care and poked the tofu with the chopsticks gripped by his fingers. Hajin was surprised once more. He didn’t expect him to use the chopsticks in the correct way, he couldn’t  even imagine him holding those chopsticks with his fist and slicing through the tofu carelessly. With his hands on his waist, Hajin looked down at the man and “pathetic” reflected in his stare clearly. Regardless, the man finished his meal with his eyes closed and his legs shaking.

Even though it wasn’t what he wished for, the first day he ate together with that man was D-173.

“You can clean the dishes, right?”

“Put it there.”

Fortunately, the man had some conscience. Of course, Hajin could clean the dishes several times if he wanted, but he hated him for not even lifting his dishes and only gobbling up meals, so he made the decision to make him at least do something. Hajin piled up the dishes and put them in the sink, and finally wiped down the table cleanly. But the man still didn’t budge from his seat.

“Aren’t you going to clean the dishes?”

“I’m going to.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow…?”

“Fuck…”

Hajin was irked. He wondered what he had expected from a person who lacked an inkling of manners. Hajin tossed the dishcloth with an annoyed gesture, and deliberately turned on the water at its highest speed and washed the bowls, making a cacophony. A sigh broke out every three seconds.

“I said I will do it, didn’t I? You’re so fucking impatient.”

“When? Who saves the dishwashing for the meals we ate today for the next day?”

“Me.”

The man approached Hajin and bumped into his shoulders as if implying him to move. As the latter’s body faltered, the water in the bowl splashed in all directions. Hajin’s face was suddenly drenched and he glared at the man beside him.

“What are you looking at?’

“….Ha.”

“Get out. You told me to wash the dishes, right? Then I can just do it now…”

The man pushed Hajin with his huge stature and started washing the dishes with his bare hands without rubber gloves. He scratched the burnt rice remnants and the red pepper with his fingers. As a human being, you should at least know how to use some utensils. Hajin stood in a daze with his rubber gloves on, as he laughed inadvertently.

“Is it your first time washing the dishes?”

“No.”

“Did you always wash them without your gloves?”

“Gloves? You are wearing them, though?”

“Huh…”

It didn’t make any sense, but Hajin didn’t have anything to retort. Hajin, whose earlobes seemed to be on fire, hurriedly took off his pink gloves and held them out.

“Well, I’m done though.”

“Don’t you use detergents?”

“You can always use water.”

“You didn’t even wash the oil off. So disgusting…”

Of course, Hajin was not the type of person who had a fun time cursing someone else but clearly that man had a strange talent of agitating him. Hajin who muttered harsh words without realizing it, looked at the man’s face but the latter only kept on washing the dishes as if he didn’t even care.

“Move. I’ll do it.”

Apparently, Hajin needed to start all over again. The greasy bowl went straight into the cardboard. If the bowl was put in without drying it off, it would smell but the man seemed to have minimum knowledge about it. Hajin gently pushed his shoulder like how the man did a while ago. But the rock hard figure didn’t move at all.

“I’m done though.”

“Ha….if you wash the dishes like that, it will smell later.”

“Then, how do you do it?”

“There is a detergent in front of you. You have to squeeze some portion of that and rinse the bowls, and then shake the water off it before putting it in.”

Even though Hajin only had an experience of teaching for two years, he still had the habit of helping someone learn the ropes. Hajin folded his arms and spoke sternly as if he was teaching a student. Finally, the man who was trying to put the washed spoon in the utensils container hesitated and turned around.

“It would have been better if you told me this earlier. I was done with everything.”

“Oh…!”

There was more of a probability that the man would have cursed at him not to show off. But that man always disappointed his expectations.The man took out all the wet dishes that were in the cupboard and put them in the dishwasher before squeezing the detergent in his bare hands. Hajin didn’t even think of stopping him at first, but as he saw the man rubbing his palms trying to make bubbles as he went on to handle the first bowl, Hajin finally stopped him.

“There is a sponge right here. Why do you have to squeeze the detergent on your palm?”

“Ah.”

After that, the man followed his instructions without a reply. He picked up the green scrubber pointed out by Hajin and squeezed the detergent a couple of times and started washing the dishes for the second time with rough actions. Hajin, stood with his mouth agape and didn’t have a clue on what to say. The moment the man was done with the dishes, Hajin screamed at the top of his lungs.

“You must be insane…! What are you doing?”

“What?”

During the moment Hajin was staring off absentmindedly, the man put the last washed cup on the drying rack and began to wash off his face. The problem was that he was using dish soap to wash his face. He wiped his face with the remaining foam left from the soap. Hajin who belatedly broke off reverie, slapped the man on his back without realizing it. The man with white foam coloring his face stared back, narrowing his eyebrows.

“Why are you hitting me?”

“Are you crazy? Why are you using that to wash your face?”

“You are nagging again.”

Finally, the man’s patience was through the roof. After shaking off Hajin’s touch, he washed his face so hard that the water splashed everywhere and then he dried off his face with his t-shirt. It was his pajamas even, it was his outdoor outfit…

Hajin’s eyes were out of focus. The man was so hard to comprehend, even by Hajin’s common sense. The man opened his mouth to say something but Hajin was the one who refused to listen and turned his back and headed to his room. Hajin made a firm decision. He should try his best not to ever bump into him in the future.

“Hey.”

When Hajin put his hand on the door handle, he heard the man calling for him but he only closed the door without looking back. Whether it was because he closed the door with a loud thud that the man’s last word was not heard.

“Thank you for making me food.”

But it might have been better to hear it.