CH 61

Ji Yao suddenly understood.

He had thought earlier that Jiang Heng still didn’t believe in him, and that he still cared about his “past,” and deliberately pointed out his greatest fear. Despite having all the substantial guarantees, he still cared about that useless verbal promise.

But now he understood that Jiang Heng cared about that “verbal promise” from the beginning.

It wasn’t that he didn’t see his actions; quite the opposite. It was precisely because he saw them that he needed this final confirmation.

Ji Yao suddenly stood up.

The dining chair slid back a considerable distance with his movement, emitting a jarring friction sound. XiaoTong was startled and instinctively looked up at him.

“S-Sorry, Auntie…” Ji Yao’s emotions were in turmoil, his gaze drifting around for a moment, and he didn’t dare to meet XiaoTong’s eyes. “I want to go upstairs and check on him.”

“Go ahead.” XiaoTong understood and said, “I’ll go to the bathroom and wash my face.”

Ji Yao nodded absentmindedly, pushed his chair back, and rushed upstairs.

Jiang Heng was leaning on the second-floor balcony, smoking. When he heard the heavy footsteps approaching from behind, he was a bit puzzled.

He instinctively put out the remaining half of his cigarette in the ashtray and turned his head upon hearing the sound.

Ji Yao had run up the stairs, his mind in chaos, torn between instinct and emotion, caught in the vortex of confusion, with only one empty thought in his mind.

In just a few short steps on the staircase, he had broken into a sweat.

Jiang Heng didn’t hear what the two of them had said downstairs, and he looked surprised when he saw Ji Yao.

“Jiang Heng.” Ji Yao grasped the stair railing, gazing at him across the small living room. He was slightly panting, his eyes were red, and even his lips trembled.

“Can you please love me forever?” Ji Yao asked.

When he said these words, Ji Yao felt as if there was a huge hole in his heart. All the courage he had accumulated throughout his life was visibly draining away through this hole.

His fingertips were icy cold, and the fear, which had come out of nowhere and for no reason, reached its peak in this moment of his life.

But perhaps because his legs were weak, or perhaps because his courage had already drained away completely after uttering those words, he didn’t escape this time.

Jiang Heng was initially surprised, but he quickly understood what was happening. Although Ji Yao’s words were somewhat unreasonable, Jiang Heng looked at him and felt as though Ji Yao had pitied him to the point of pushing himself into a corner.

He could tell that Ji Yao just wanted one answer—a response that would allow him to make a clean break.

Like a circus elephant breaking free from its shackles but still wearing ankle cuffs. He wanted a command that would let him grit his teeth and pass through this terrifying ring of fire in front of him.

So, Jiang Heng gave him that command.

“I can,” Jiang Heng said.

The next moment, Ji Yao suddenly pounced on him, kissing him passionately.

This time, Jiang Heng didn’t refuse. He embraced Ji Yao, loosened his grip on his lips, and accepted him.

In that intimate moment, all their long-dormant senses came alive again in an instant, and the missing pieces returned to their bodies, igniting a roaring fire.

It felt both familiar and unfamiliar, as if they had been separated for millions of years, yet their souls still bore the imprints of each other.

Jiang Heng engaged in a long kiss with Ji Yao, who resembled a moth darting into the flames, almost madly kissing him.

His teeth grazed Jiang Heng’s lip, and warm liquid trickled down from somewhere. Jiang Heng’s tongue tasted a hint of saltiness and bitterness, as if he had tasted Ji Yao’s heart.

“I love you,” Ji Yao said. “I will love you forever.”

“I know,” Jiang Heng sighed deeply. He held Ji Yao tightly, pressing him into his embrace. “I believe you.”

Jiang Heng had always known that, for Ji Yao, love or not wasn’t the obstacle. Ji Yao could readily give his love, but what he couldn’t face was family, longevity, and long term commitment.

So, he never doubted whether their love for each other was enough to start over. What he cared about was whether Ji Yao was prepared to face everything he feared but would inevitably have to face.

For Jiang Heng, choosing the most foolish way to resolve this matter today was deliberate.

Ji Yao was someone with a soft spot for intimacy, and if Jiang Heng had wanted to, he had a thousand ways to gradually erode Ji Yao’s bottom line without touching his pain points, ultimately gaining everything he desired.

But he didn’t do that.

Because in Jiang Heng’s eyes, Ji Yao was free. Regardless of whether his choices were mature or perfect, he had the right to decide his own life.

So, Jiang Heng wanted to give Ji Yao the choice, rather than have him stumble onto another path in confusion.

“…How did you know?” Ji Yao said. “We’ve been together for so long, and I have never said these words to you.”

“When I was in the hospital, you passed by eight times a day to check up on me. Was I a fool not to know?” Jiang Heng suddenly smiled, reaching out to wipe the sweat from Ji Yao’s forehead. He said softly, “I could tell. The look in your eyes was the same as three years ago.”

So, he was sure that Ji Yao still had him in his heart, even more so than three years ago.

That kiss seemed to wipe away all the frost on Jiang Heng’s body. His brows and eyes softened, his eyes filled with a sparkling light, gentle and accommodating. He seemed to know everything and yet had said nothing.

“Why didn’t you say it earlier?” Ji Yao raised his head, cupping Jiang Heng’s face and looking deep into his eyes. “You could have pulled me in any direction, and I would definitely go with you.”

“That won’t do.” Jiang Heng smiled, hooking the corner of his lips. “I had to wait for you.”

Jiang Heng didn’t want to take advantage of Ji Yao’s guilt to rush in. He genuinely wanted to wait for Ji Yao to reach this point, just one step away from the finish line.

So, he maintained the boundary of their relationship almost strictly, not because he still harbored any resentment but because he was doing it for Ji Yao.

“I have the right to decide who I spend the rest of my life with, and so do you,” Jiang Heng said. “You love me, but you also have the right to refuse. Don’t give up all the initiative in your emotions just because of past mistakes.”

Ji Yao looked into his eyes and suddenly realized that what Jiang Heng cared about most was not the pursuit, not the flowers, not even the attitude of admitting wrongs, but if Ji Yao could take the initiative to come to him.

From the moment he decided to reconcile, Jiang Heng had completely let go of the past. He was a person with absolute rationality, and when he realized that he wanted to give it another try with Ji Yao, he had already digested all those past issues.

Once they decided to start anew, the past became meaningless. No matter how messy or absurd those things were, they were in the past, not worth worrying about or dwelling upon.

He had clear principles, firm positions, and two completely different sets of standards for “falling in love” and “reconciliation.” That’s why he was being so strict this time. Jiang Heng could walk his own path, but he would not help Ji Yao on the path he needed to take. He would only stand at the finish line, waiting for Ji Yao to reach him or give up midway.

Yet, he continued to look at Ji Yao, never leaving, serving as an endless source of courage for Ji Yao.

Then, at the moment Ji Yao rushed past the finish line, Jiang Heng would catch him.

Just like now.