CH 210

Considering the timing at which Hernan appeared in his palace, it was obvious what had happened. His eyes were stained by the drugs he had taken but they were still glimmering like blue jewels. It was clear that his reason was barely holding together. As if to prove his point, he spotted a purple haze clouding Hernan’s eyes. It looked precarious like a candle flame against the wind. 

“Settle down with one of the girls who professed their love for you. I know it might be too early for marriage but it’s not uncommon at your age.” 

He could tell what kind of love Hernan was receiving through his plants. He recalled hearing someone mention a daughter of a Curules who seemed to be genuine and passionately pining for him. Even though he knew what he was about to say was close to deception, Amor still spat out. 

“… This wasn’t something I was planning on saying but brother didn’t say that you should be unhappy.”

A curious gaze pointed towards him. 

“Do I deserve to be happy?”

His response was unexpectedly calm. As if he had let go of everything. 

“Who’s judging you?”

“I will be returning to the Crown Prince’s side. Those words.”

After replying Amor, Hernan stretched out his hand. As if it had been waiting for him, the bird twirled around in the air before returning to Hernan. The suit he draped over his shoulders slightly fluttered in the wind. 

“I don’t know when I’ll lose my ego. Maybe when the drugs stop working one day or the day I give myself up for Castor. But when the day comes, I will be erased from this world.”

Hernan and Amor. They stayed the closest to each other. Because they stayed together, they knew each other better than anyone else. However, their own life was a burden to themselves which was why they never shared anything with each other. In any case, they were fine with never having the opportunity to share the emotions that were unique to them. 

“It doesn’t matter to me whether you die or not…”

There are some things you only know if you open up. 

“But if you go crazy on those drugs, you might get yourself in trouble.”

That was when Hernan knew. That Amor pitied him. If he hadn’t wanted Hernan to visit him today, he could have prevented him from entering as much as he could. 

Amor’s palace was the boy’s personal space. 

Amor could have kicked him out of his space but he did not. He was a bad liar. Unlike the words he threw at him out of anger with that sentimental look on his face, Amor didn’t dislike him. Even though he was the son of his enemy, the son of the one who killed his mother, Amor could not leave him alone when he showed him such a rough expression. 

‘How could he do that?’

Even though he had just been betrayed by his love and cried out desperately for her, he still managed to shower Hernan with affection. Hernan found it difficult to understand Amor. Even while he pitied Hernan, he acknowledged their distance. Sometimes, Hernan did think that Amor has something that he could never have. 

‘Could things be different if I had met him as someone else?’

It had been a meaningless assumption but he still held onto that hope. Because they had been tied up by the same misfortune. Misfortune was like a stone rolling down a snowy mountain. They were people whose lives had been halted due to misfortune that had not been a result of their own actions. 

“I won’t ever be able to love anyone. Because I don’t have the capacity to care about trivial emotions.”

“… Just because you don’t want to love doesn’t mean that love won’t come looking for you.”

“Is that so?”

Each of them were the last templar of their own kind. Though their situation might be similar, it was still unique to them. And Hernan knew the difference. 

“Love is fleeting.”

Hernan. 

Due to the curse the ancient beast had cast on him through his [Companion], Hernan did not believe in love.

He didn’t deny the emotion existed. 

Unlike the two princes who lost their mothers at a young age, he had been loved for a relatively long time. His father might have been cold to him but his mother loved him very much. Hence, Hernan’s definition of love was something closer to dedication and the kind where he would give endlessly. What he would feel as love was admiration, something closer to faith and worship.

He also thought lightly of the affection between men and women. Hernan could only think about how fragile it was when he witnessed how the duke would have an affair behind his sole companion’s back.  

He believed that love could not be anything other than admiration. 

***

For a split moment, he came across the girl he met when he was a child. 

It did not take long to see her after he returned to the Imperial Palace with Castor. 

“Dane!”

A very young child whose neck could barely hold her own head was toddling around. In the 7th Prince’s palace, he noticed a little girl smiling happily. 

“Will we be reading this book today?”

It was back when he got lost on his way to Amor’s palace and his small mistake had turned into a golden opportunity. No, he wasn’t sure if he got lucky or unlucky just yet. 

“[Companion].”

Hernan stared at the girl’s hair that was as blonde as wheat before slowly lowering his gaze to the purple eyes beneath her hair. His last touch on his skin had been engraved with a scar clearly drawn on her face. 

“There will be small side effects.”

HIs heart ached. 

‘I want to go to her.’

He suppressed his instincts. 6 years had passed since then. They had only met briefly but Hernan truly believed that the girl would be happy. Her smile looked lovely, she was surrounded with good people and she was being embraced in a cosy environment. 

‘She must be happy, right?’

Sometimes, the thought that he had abandoned that girl for his own hometown made his heart ache. He shook his head. While he felt relieved that she was happy but at the same time, he felt sad at how confident he was. 

‘The path I’ve taken doesn’t suit her.’

His heart would be jumping just by thinking about her. It didn’t make any sense. It was shameless of him to have any of these emotions. 

Wasn’t he the one who chose something else over the girl? Yeah, these were feelings of affection. He did not long for and worship the girl like a templar to their god but it felt more like he was drawn to her by fate and the beast treasured these emotions. There was nothing else he wanted. He just wanted the girl to be happy. 

‘At every given moment. I hope she’ll always be happy.’

He knew that being a beast, being away from his [Companion] could make him lose his rationality. But the fact that she was safe was enough for him to remain stable. She was like the hidden moon. 

Especially since Hernan had more divinity than most of his counterparts, Hernan was more strongly bound to his fate and consequently, the feelings he felt for his [Companion] were different. He was willing to give up his own happiness so that she could always be happy;. 

“That’s hilarious. Is that what your impulses are telling you to do? Do you not have any will?”

Amor had laughed at Hernan when he heard. 

“Are all Templars of Beasts so obsessed over such trivial matters?”

Hernan did nothing but smile at Amor’s comments. It was because he knew that the person Amor was really making fun of was himself. This sky-blue haired prince had been a victim of the sins his father had committed. Hernan pitied Amor. He never expressed it because he knew how much Amor hated pity. 

Flop.

Hernan muttered as he stared at the man collapsed before him.

“You spread nonsense.”

The room was quiet. The fallen man was a Templar of Spears and Shields.

“… How is the death of the 1st Princess… nonsense…!”

Most templars specialised in combat were Duke Aventa’s men. However, this man was not one of them. He was a self-made, competent official and his divinity and his way with the spear was also commendable. To the point where Hernan felt disappointed at how easily he fell. 

“Don’t you know that the names of the 1st Princess, 2nd Princess and 3rd Prince are like that of the Templars of Chaos. You are not to mention their existence.”

Today, Hernan came to silence this competent man forever. 

“Don’t you have… anyone precious to you?”

For a moment, Hernan grimaced from the stress.

“I think I know what you’re going to say. But the 2nd Princess who’s alive and the 1st Princess who is now dead. Do you know why we are not allowed to mention any of their names, including the exiled 3rd Prince?”

Hernan lifted his sword.

“Because the emperor doesn’t want you to.”

With a last burst of strength, the man blocked Hernan’s sword. 

“I’m asking you if you know what His Majesty or HIs Highness is doing! How can such immoral acts… How can such acts be allowed to occur under the gods’ watchful gaze!! Why is my daughter in the basement of the Imperial palace!”

“Well, if you had the right to know, you wouldn’t have been meeting me like this.”

Flop.

After pulling his sword out of the man’s collapsed body, Hernan lingered for a while. The wind carried the stench of iron in the air and brushed past his shoulders, as if trying to comfort him. 

The emperor was currently unable to infuse divinity into the crystal that was supposed to contain all the divinity in the Empire. That had resulted in an imbalance in the Empire. And what the emperor chose to do was to sacrifice this man’s living daughter. Hernan had no clue why the emperor didn’t opt to just hand his throne over to the Crown Prince. 

‘Whatever is right, it doesn’t matter.’

White hair from his lowered head continued to flutter in the wind. Sometimes, after doing something he never wanted to do, his shoulders would feel heavy. It must be the weight of his sins. That was how painful and torturous the path he had chosen to take was. 

His [Companion]. 

He felt a strong longing for the girl who must be smiling happily somewhere else today. 

“You can’t feel this for her. Hernan, you’re my knight, aren’t you?”

Castor’s words hit the nail on the head. He hadn’t intended on going against his master who was currently taking the role of his [Companion]. However, he would sometimes bring up the things he wanted. 

“I was just hoping the princess was happy.”

“Hm, I can’t believe how blind your feelings are… It seems like she’s still your companion even after all I’ve done.”

“Because this was how we were born to be.”

He said as he looked out the window. 

Spring was in full force. 

It was not until he arrived in the Imperial Palace did he see so many flowers. They were pretty. But their colours look faded compared to the spring he was familiar with.  The girl who hung at the top of his sky, higher than the moon, was still the centre of his universe. Castor, who could see glimpses of other people’s thoughts, seemed to be aware of all his feelings, but he didn’t say anything about it. No, it was more like Castor had no interest in his original [Companion]. 

“Within the Templars of Chaos, the Templars of the Snow and Sea have been making up the majority of the moderate faction. What we’re really looking for though is what the radical faction has been doing.”

“Ah.”

“Why won’t you pay attention? You’re the one those people want to kill the most. They’re the ones who want to kill you and the emperor so that they can radically replace you with their Crown of Thorns.”

As Castor’s guardian, he worked together with him on such matters to gather information on the Templars of Chaos. This was so that he could find the ones who destroyed the City of Beasts. To obtain this information, he did not hesitate to become the Emperor’s Shadow. 

His abilities that were the most ideal for dealing with divinity had attracted the attention of powerful people including the emperor. That was because he was the last official residence of the 7th God’s presence. Like the prince who was trapped in his palace for the rest of his life because he was the Templar of Plants. 

“You’re right.”

The current emperor was so weak he couldn’t even infuse his divinity with the crystal that contained all the divinity in the Empire and supported his land. Hence, expectations were high for the Crown Prince who had a strong credibility for the throne compared to the emperor who had already lost his ‘Power of the Lords’. 

This was the reason why he was able to maintain his title as the Crown Prince even after engaging in brutal homicides resulting in numerous bodies having to be carried out of his palace. Especially since only a few knew about the emperor’s weakness. 

“There’s a strange rumour going around. The Templars of Chaos are searching for another [Heir to the Lord]… No, it is too strange.”

“Really?”

There was no way there would be a successor outside the palace. There couldn’t be a successor outside him and the 5th Prince. Furthermore, the 5th Prince was significantly weaker than him. Castor did not deem him worthy of killing which was why he was still alive. Hence, he was indifferent to the news he just heard. It’s life-threatening news but so what? He was bored. 

As if he knew everything there was to know. 

“There’s the 5th Prince.”

“No, what I want is someone… more powerful…”

Castor smiled. 

“I’m looking for just one person.”