CH 211

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know yet.”

At the fact that Hernan could only guess who it was, he decided not to utter the words that were threatening to leave his lips. He was used to Castor suddenly saying something unexpected so he thought nothing of it then. 

And shortly after that incident, Castor began to pay more attention to the 8th Princess. Hernan had been surprised. Because it had been so unexpected. 

“I’m heading to the Terena Palace.”

That was what he said. His sudden interest in her seemed to come out of nowhere. As if Castor had become a completely different person over just one day. 

And that interest of his was making Hernan nervous. Everyone he had seen Castor take an abnormal interest in has ended up….

‘Dead.’

But Hernan did not know much. Because Castor could read his thoughts and would sometimes take over his ego which was why all the information he received had been controlled and filtered. He had no complaints about it since he had sworn to be his sword for his revenge. 

“Hernan.”

“Ah.”

When Hernan finally raised his head, Castor was smiling at him. 

“Don’t worry. Nothing will happen.”

Under the humid silence, Castor handed him some documents. Before he realised it, he spotted a familiar name at the bottom of the neatly written characters. Ashley Rosé. Hernan brushed his fingertips against the name. His heart was pounding. 

“It’s because I have something I want to check.”

It was an instinct that only a Templar of Beasts could feel. Even as his sixth sense continued to warn him, he closed his eyes. 

“Alright.”

Drip drop.

After glancing at the broken quill in his hand, Hernan suppressed his anxiety.

“My child will be happy.”

That was what the one who took his [Companion] told him. 

She assured him that she would make her happier than anyone else so confidently. So, Hernan did not doubt her words at all. He believed that the girl would be some place comfortable, a place he could not provide for her. He thought she would be living a fulfilling and happy life. 

But after a while, his expectations were dragged through the mud. 

***

He stared at the sea of blood. With corpses of all the maids scattered about the space, he spotted the girl crying over the body of one of them. What was this? Hernan couldn’t believe his eyes. 

“I-I… Why are you doing this to me?”

He could tell the palace was old and had not been maintained in a long time. The red fading from the roof, the poorly-maintained garden and the withered flowers blossoming within them… Holding back her tears, the girl raised her head.

‘Why are you in place like this?’

Hernan tried to move his body but he could feel a block in his head. Castor was restricting him. When he lowered his gaze, he could see a thin red mist tightening around his body. 

“What do I mean to you?”

‘Castor!’

With his fists painfully clenched, his eyes felt like they were about to rip apart as he tried to glare at Castor. But he couldn’t even make a sound. 

Drip. Drop.

Her soft body that was as thin as a twig collapsed slowly. Even if he were to cry out, his voice wouldn’t reach her. Blood stained the white palace floors like rose petals on drawing paper. Eventually, he had to face the death of his [Companion]. His powers burst out of him explosively.

“Don’t worry, Hernan.”

Even in front of Hernan’s threatening presence, Castor was calm.

“You’ll be seeing her again soon.”

He held the sword that his knight, who had already morphed into a beast, had drawn before speaking. 

“Until now, I knew she existed but I didn’t know who it was.”

“… Castor!”

“I mean people like me. I finally found someone like me.”

That was one of the 10th Days of the Month of Habermia that Hernan could not recall. 

“Someone who can understand me.”

***

“Are you going to just s-s-stand by and watch again?”

Stand by? Hernan held himself up before slowly staring at the trembling girl. He only walked this way because he had business near the stele.

“C-Castor is going to kill me. Why? I-I… don’t want to die again. I-Could you help me?”

“…..”

“I don’t want to die anymore. Please…”

Even though she was so close, she still felt so distant to him as she clung onto his clothes and pleaded. Even as she continued to spout things he could not understand, her body could not stop shaking until he had to eventually catch her collapsing body. Perhaps it was because she was having convulsions. 

What was the girl doing in the Forbidden Forest and why was she crying? Hernan’s mind went completely blank soon after. 

“Again, I… I don’t want to… die… again. No. I don’t want to die.”

Hernan’s eyes started shifting in colour. A mist of deep purple started shakily sinking deep into his pupils. He couldn’t overcome his instincts. But he had to suppress it;. 

As he tried to calm himself down, he bit his lips before speaking through his trembling lips. 

“What…”

‘What is going on? Die? Who’s dying?’

The shock was preventing him from thinking logically. But Hernan still tried to be rational. If he had not tried to suppress his instincts, he had no doubt that he would have been running to Castor right away. 

“Please… let me be…”

But the moment her tears fell, he grimaced and pulled the girl closer. 

‘You said she would be happy.’

The purple within his eyes was glowing dizzyingly. As her shoulders trembled, she looked at him desperately. 

‘You told me she would be happy!’

The pitiful girl in his arms looked weak, young and desperate. She had clung onto past Hernan and told him everything, something she would have never imagined herself doing. She had grabbed onto him and pleaded for help. 

Hernan knew Castor. 

“Castor… killed you?”

No, even if he hadn’t known before, he knew now. He believed the girl’s words. Just then, pain struck his eyes. Light as bright as a torch soared from the depths of his blue eyes. As it rose a little higher, the light became a little clearer before culminating into a swirling storm. He was getting furious. At himself, not the princess. 

‘Back when I didn’t know anything, I always thought you were happy.’

What were these feelings? Hernan did not know what these feelings were. He could vaguely tell that these emotions arising from within were due to his instincts. Perhaps his instincts were also sick of how pathetic he was. The sound of her breaths and cries mixed together before something that sounded like a sigh broke out of her. 

What was he thinking when he let her go? 

‘… Why…’

Wishing for her happiness, he remained on that barren land, survived his ruined city and continued to wish for her happiness even when he arrived at the palace. Instead of finishing his sentences, he groaned. 

“Were you not happy?”

Whether it be his fortune or his misfortune, he ended up not remembering any of this.

***

“Hernan.”

He raised his head. 

“Why do you look so dazed?’

The girl was staring at him calmly. When he came to his senses and looked around him, he found himself in the aedile’s office. He tilted his head. He wondered why he felt as if he had just woken up from a very long dream. 

“No. I think I just woke up from a very long dream.”

The girl grinned drily. 

“A dream? Did you doze off while you were supposed to protect me?”

He wondered if the girl knew how her empty expressions sometimes reminded Hernan of him? He might be strange for thinking this. But sometimes, he would be reminded of the unaged expression Castor has whenever he looks out the window. 

“I already told you. I hate you. I am going to make full use of you before throwing you away.”

Hernan did not know the reason behind the girl’s resentment and sorrow. He could guess why but he didn’t think it was the case. Nevertheless, he lingered around her. Even though he knew she hated him, he didn’t want to turn a blind eye to her sorrowful gaze. 

He didn’t know why she resented him but he wanted to be with her. 

Amor did tell him. Perhaps this was what his instincts were telling him to do. Just as Amor said, perhaps it was just his identity as the Templar of Beasts that was pulling him to her like fate. Even though he doesn’t see or hear her, he would still get reminded of her. Hernan asked himself, Was he just a pawn of fate? Did he have no self-will at all?

One day, he couldn’t stand it anymore and asked Amor. 

“Can’t you just follow what your instincts are telling you?”

The girl hated him. That was clear. Whenever she looked at him, her eyes would always be filled with resentment. Nevertheless, he wanted to stay by her side. Even after blocking her from Castor’s sword and ending up drenched in blood, even after the girl pushed her away so many times, his feelings towards her remained as unchanged as an old tree. Were these feelings of his from the blood of the beast desiring for his [Companion] or his human heart yearning for her? 

Amor explained. 

“Hernan, your [Companion] helps you suppress your instincts. She’s kind of like your reins.”

“So?”

“She’s not your mate.”

Amor smiled angrily. He hadn’t want to bring it up to him at first but he recalled the debt Amor owed him.

“Take me to Terena, the 8th Princess’ palace. I’ll be using one of my two chances.”

Hernan recalled the day Amor went out of his palace. The day Hernan helped Amor leave his palace was the debt Amor was referring to. He hadn’t told Castor he had gone outside. 

“Look closely, Hernan.”

The boy smiled drily with a face that looked no different from the one a few years ago other than a few wrinkles. 

“Your attraction to her might have been caused by fate but how do you feel? What are emotions?”

In Hernan’s eyes, Amor seemed to be glowing even brighter than he ever had before. 

“Focus on what you’re feeling. Your emotions are your own. Do you really not know?”

“… Why are you telling me this?’

“Because I’m going to die.”

Amor smirked. 

“It’d be nice if there’s at least one person on her side.”

Hernan had long been made submissive and obedient through force so he was accustomed to abuse. The physical punishments and the abuse he received from his father until he turned human from beast helped him overcome his instincts but he had never taken the new freedom and independence to think for himself. 

“Hernan, I don’t want you to fall in love with your [Companion]. Love is trivial.”

As he recalled his mother’s words, Hernan shook his head. 

He didn’t want to admit it so easily. If he did, he would be stuck wondering if he chose the right path. There had been thousands of people that died. All the Templars of Beasts who had cared about him died. In the ruins swept away by flames, a boy had appeared before him, overwhelming him with his brilliance as if he was the reincarnation of the Lord of the Gods showing him the path of vengeance. 

It was then did he decide.

‘This isn’t love.’

As long as he decided this was true, he believed that this was the truth. If he were to bring himself to admit it, he would have thrown everything away just to go to her. When he thought about the noble feelings he had towards her, he thought this could not be the trivial love his mother was talking about. When he thought about his father who had made his [Companion], his mother, lonely for the remainder of her life, he believed that this could not be love. 

However, the girl had broken through the walls he had built around himself. 

Ahn. The woman who was not the girl had told her. That the pain that was causing his heart to ache was love. The emotion he had believed to be reverence was actually love. 

Hernan had finally realised.

“Princess.”

This emotion was love. 

‘I’ve made a choice I’ll only regret for the rest of my life.’

However, regardless of how cruel this might be, the fact remained. The fact that he belonged to Castor. This was what he chose. This was what he abandoned the girl for in the past and chose.

Even if he were to regret it, it was already too late. 

T/N:

I noticed that I had forgotten to unlock the previous chapter. So sorry for that! I’ve unlocked it now