#044 – I’m not desperate enough to eat this

#044 – I’m not desperate enough to eat this

To nobody’s surprise, instead of the entire octopus, only the pink tentacle emerging from the water next to me answered my angry call, making me curse under my breath.

I immediately spat fire at where it stuck out from before it could drag me under water again, but the whole thing dodged to the side unlike all the previous times. It then lashed out at me in a horizontal swipe and I only barely managed to summon my key sword in time to block it.

What I didn’t expect was something suddenly smacking me in the head from behind and dazing me for just long enough for the pink tentacle to get around my weapon and curl around my waist.

I sucked in some air and held my breath just in time before the thing pulled me underwater again – I was getting really tired of that.

I lit myself on fire, trying to get the damn thing off me, but this time, it kept its grip despite my fire burning through the plush and creating a thick screen of steam around me.

I grit my teeth to stop myself from inhaling the water and began struggling even harder, desperately trying to shake the damn thing off, but it just couldn’t be done.

I activated Bullet Time again and everything – including the tentacle gripping me, thankfully – slowed down to a crawl. I used that time to re-summon my key sword that I’d accidentally dropped when I’d gotten dragged under, and finally pried the tentacle off of me.

I quickly swam to the surface and took a gasp of breath before looking back into the water.

Just as I’d thought, the tentacle hadn’t come out of a portal like usual; it had come straight out of the water instead. I could see the rest of the tentacle leading deep underwater where it suddenly vanished.

The jerk was not just invisible, but also hiding underwater! That wasn’t fair at all! How was I supposed to do anything with my fire build? This was a direct counter!

Still in my Bullet Time, I briefly glanced at chat to see if they had any suggestions and did the first thing I saw Jeoff say.

I summoned John, my faithful cameraman, and sent him underwater to watch the octopus and hopefully help me figure something out. Then I placed my glove under me, created a bubble, stepped on it with both my feet, and just like last time I’d been here, I ignited my hand, burst the bubble, and sent myself flying into the air with the knockback.

This time though, I sent myself straight up, and before I even recovered from the whiplash of the pop, I began flapping my hands like a dazed chicken.

For once, I actually turned off Bullet Time manually as soon as I got launched and then watched the water below me as I slowly floated down.

By then, John had gotten right next to where the invisible octopus must have been because I noticed the tentacle-shaped white shimmer just like before. From up close though, I also noticed the various bumps on it, just like the eye-filled white tentacle had.

There had to be a reason why the octopus signaled its position like that despite doing so much to hide itself, right? That white tentacle had to be somehow important. I needed to target it. Or really literally anything else besides the tentacle that endlessly regenerated.

I noticed another suggestion from chat and quickly reached into my backpack and pulled out the ultra dry towel before tossing it under me. All while continuing to flap with just one hand, which surprisingly still somewhat helped me fall slower.

True to its function, the towel began to slurp up all the water like a parched man in a desert, causing the whirlpool-like currents at the edges of the room to get even faster and more violent.

It didn’t take long for the pink tentacle to shoot out of the water and lash out at me again. But since I saw it coming, I immediately spat at it and covered it in fire before it could reach me, causing it to flinch back away from me.

Then, to my surprise, something else shot out of the water. A purple blur whipped out and before I could even realize what was happening, it slapped me in the chest, pushing out all the air out of my lungs, and made me tumble through the air, which completely disrupted my gliding trick.

Fortunately, by the time I landed in the water, it was still deep enough that I didn’t have a hard landing, but shallow enough that I wasn’t in danger of drowning anymore.

I managed to quickly recover, glanced at John’s screen, and saw that the octopus was nowhere to be found. It must have moved from its spot after knocking me out.

Sneaky bastard. Why did it feel like it was more intelligent than most monsters in this dungeon?

I scanned the room and sent John to do the same and quickly spotted the telltale hint of white shimmer on the wall on the other side of the room. There was also the yellow portal right next to it and the moment I noticed it, I summoned my key sword, charged it with fire, and slashed behind me with it.

True to my instincts, my blind slash actually hit the pink tentacle trying to sneak up on me. Breathing in, I shot another Flame Bullet at it, causing it to move and cancel its invisibility again in the process. The pink tentacle likewise dragged itself back through the portal.

Now I got you, you bastard.

Before it could teleport out again I shot another Flame Bullet at it while swimming closer. At this point, the water levels were getting low enough that I could reach the bottom with my feet without submerging my face.

But the monster blocked my fireball with its pink tentacle and before I could shoot it again, it opened another portal and jumped through it.

I grit my teeth in annoyance.

Before the portal closed though, I made John try and go through the portal on a whim. And to my surprise, it worked. Soon enough, I was looking at myself from above through the little screen in front of me.

Jeofffff: it’s not

Jeofffff: dude cmon

I ignored him and proceeded to poke the chest for a few minutes like always.

Nothing happened.

Nice.

I put away the weapon back into my backpack and heaved the chest open even as water began to flood back into the room from the tunnels now that the towel wasn’t absorbing it all.

There was a tentacle inside the chest.

I immediately recoiled, summoned the key sword to my hand and prepared myself for a fight... And then I suddenly felt very silly because that tentacle was detached and very much not moving on its own. Also, not made out of plush like the boss.

“Ahem. It’s not a mimic, chat,” I announced.

GeorgeDoshington: lmao

Jeofffff: you don’t say

KaiEbikoOfficial: uh why is the dungeon giving you tentacles?

“Eh... Who knows?”

I quickly replaced Craftsman with Appraisal – I’d kept it because I was still struggling to properly channel my Ether without it – and appraised the tentacle.

Ancient octopus tentacle

A piece of the legendary octopus’s meat. Infused with Tempor to keep it from going bad.

“Huh... Wait, it’s meant to be food?!” I squeaked and looked at the thing in horror.

Who would eat that thing?!

Blouterest: oh I love octopus!

Blouterest: it’s delicious!

I looked at my chat in horror.

“Delicious?! That thing?!”

Was I being pranked? Now I didn’t even wanna get close to that chest anymore.

Jeofffff: isn’t seafood generally healthy n stuff?

“I...I mean, I guess?”

I still didn’t like it. To me, octopus tentacles were... well, tentacles. Gross slimy grabby things... that could teleport, regenerate, and go invisible, apparently.

But chat insisted that it was probably delicious and likely healthier than my magical pizza.

Ridiculous. As if I would eat tentacles when I had infinite pizza.

I spent enough time hesitating that I didn’t even notice the water level rising. When it began to stream inside the chest, I hurried up and ran to the chest again.

“Okay, fine! I’ll just store it away! It’s not like I’m hurting for space!”

I shrugged off my backpack and with great reluctance and a good deal of disgust, I grabbed the damn tentacle – which was bigger than my freaking arm, augh – and stuffed it inside. Then I quickly glanced at the other items in the chest and my eyes widened.

“Oh, crap...”

The second item looked like a water gun, but the third one was a piece of paper with scribbles on it and it was already getting wet.

I had no idea what it was for or whether it was fine for it to get wet or not, but I didn’t want to risk anything, so I stuffed both of the items inside the backpack and zipped it up.

Once the chest disappeared, I put the backpack on again and began swimming out of this place.