#045 – Time to noscope some kids

#045 – Time to noscope some kids

After a few minutes of not being accosted by a stupid tentacle as I swam out of this place, I found myself back outside of the tunnel.

I still didn’t quite want to drop my guard, so I first made sure to get back to the golden gate before dropping down on my butt with a mighty sigh.

I sat there for a few seconds with my eyes closed.

The sunlight felt nice. Even if it was fake.

“Alright... Let’s figure out what else I got!” I cheered and put my backpack on the ground.

First, I removed the piece of paper from it and placed it on the ground so it could dry out in the sun before pulling out the other item – the water gun.

Then I used Appraisal at the more interesting object first.

Ink water gun

A water gun capable of shooting high-speed projectiles made out of any liquid fed to it by using a moderate amount of Ether. Can also create its own water or ink without supplying them first by using more Ether.

I blinked.

Well, I’d kinda subconsciously expected this when I’d first seen this thing, but...

“Chat, I got a gun,” I said in a flat tone.

The impression of this being a fantasy-ish world had been shaky since finding the spaceship, but for some reason, part of me still thought of it that way.

Well, now that mental image was truly and well shattered.

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit. It was just a water gun, but still. If water guns existed in this world, there was no reason real guns couldn’t exist too.

GeorgeDoshington: fuck yeah

Jeofffff: niceeeee

Obviously, I needed to test it first to see just how high-speed these projectiles would be.

I grabbed the thing and scrutinized it for a second. It was small enough that I could hold it in one hand but big enough that I could also use both hands if I wanted to. It had a big bright yellow barrel on top of it, presumably meant for water, and the rest of it was bright orange. It looked like a regular water gun with nothing special about it.

I shrugged, fiddled with it and found a way to detach the barrel. When I looked into it, I saw a dark void similar to the wallet and my backpack.

I hummed in understanding.

Then I had an idea.

I grabbed the towel from my backpack – which was still completely dry despite absorbing a lake’s worth of water at this point – positioned it above the barrel, and began squeezing.

A huge stream of water splashed into my lap and I squeaked in surprise.

“...Okay, I guess it is full of water.”

More carefully this time, I squeezed more water out of it and tried to fill the barrel just to see how much it could hold.

I sat there for what felt like half an hour as the water streamed out of the towel and the barrel chugged it all up.

Well.

“Right, I guess it’s big enough.”

I didn’t think I would have to worry about constantly having to reload mid-fight, at least.

With that test out of the way, I attached the barrel back into the gun’s mechanism and finally decided to test its main function. I grabbed it in both hands, heaved it, aimed at a random building, and pulled the trigger.

I did not expect the wet bang and recoil strong enough to make me roll backwards.

“Hoooly sssh...sheep, chat! What the heck?! This isn’t a gun, it’s a freaking cannon!”

GeorgeDoshington: jesus fuck

Jeofffff: aww yiss ur op now

KaiEbikoOfficial: holy cow!

Unfortunately, there were some downsides to the thing though. Namely, I could really feel my Ether dwindling now. And considering I hadn’t used that much Ether against the octopus, this water gun ate a lot.

Speaking of eating...

I put the gun down for the time being and pulled out my pizza and my trusty bucket to recover a bit.

Jeofffff: try the other setting

“Other setting?” I said between bites of the pizza. “Oh, right. It can create ink to shoot too. Almost forgot about that.”

Probably because the boss had been an octopus right? Even though the octopus had never used ink... Hmm. The boss drops felt like they were only vaguely based on the bosses. Wallet from the coins, an ink gun and a wholeass tentacle from the octopus, a glove and a bottle of juice from the giant weirdo...

Uhh...

I felt like there was some kind of backstory for that one. I hadn’t really thought about it, but if things from the dungeons were based on the civilization that used to be here – which I still didn’t know for sure – then what in the heck was the second floor’s boss based on?

The coin bosses were weird, but I could accept that they represented having to pay to enter the water park. The octopus was also eyebrow-raising, but I could see it as some kind of mascot for the park and whatnot. But what in god's name was the sauna guy supposed to be? The water park’s CEO? The resident creep? It felt like it was based on something specific.

Or maybe I was just overthinking it all. I should probably stop doing that.

Once I felt like I’d recovered enough Ether with the ooze, I grabbed the gun again, stood in the same stance as last time, aimed at the downed tree trunk, tried to mentally prod the trigger mechanism with my Ether to figure out how to switch settings, and once I found it, I pressed the trigger.

The moment I did, I felt a ton more Ether drain from me, my knees buckled and my arms went weak, and a split second later, the projectile burst from the gun’s muzzle with a bang, and I was sent flying back.

“Guh! Gah...” I groaned as I tried to get back up from where I’d landed. “Shhhovel, chat. Making ammo out of thin air costs a lot more Ether... Who would have thought?”

When I looked up, my eyes went wide and I had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing right.

The entire area where I’d been aiming was pitch black. Covered in ink, presumably. I barely noticed the hole in the tree trunk I’d shot. It was hard to see when everything was black.

“Huh...” I grabbed the water gun that had fallen off my hands and pulled myself to my feet again. “I guess I have a way to blind my enemies now...?” I mumbled.

It was like shooting sand into someone’s eyes at the speed of sound. It would technically blind them, but... well.

GeorgeDoshington: what if you feed it the goop

Jeofffff: that could be useful for big monsters

“Big monsters...?” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not gonna shoot things with the healing goop, George...”

Jeofffff: yeah like kaiju

Jeofffff: the shots won’t kill them but can blind them

I rolled my eyes.

“Why do you automatically assume that I’m gonna be fighting building-sized monsters, Jeoff? Are you trying to set up flags on purpose?” I grumbled in annoyance.

Jeofffff: just theorizing

Jeofffff: it would be cool if you did tho

“Right...”

It would be ‘cool’. But it would also be freaking terrifying. I didn’t want to fight giant monsters anytime soon. Meeting one giant killer robot was enough for a lifetime, thank you very much.

...

That was already a flag in and of itself, wasn’t it?

...Oh no. What was the final boss going to be?