Isiah tried so badly not to trigger any bad emotions in Ciel's heart, he just tried to fix this no matter how much time this would take .
He just didn't want him to be hurt by him anymore , Isiah followed him slowly , the urge to feed was still there but around Ciel, he had to make himself look the best way so that the little one won't be hurt .
" Can we talk right now ? " Isiah said with a gentle voice , a voice that was reserved especially for Ciel, and it was so hard for him even to use it .
" You didn't help me find my parents, I went to find them by myself " Ciel said after a long time of walking aimlessly in the snow .
" I said that they were dead, that is the truth , so why am I hearing another version spreading around , tell me that Eijar and Ethyl are just brain damaged at this point " Isiah said gently to him while staying away .
Isiah kept the distance between them because he knew that getting closer to him was just making him very anxious.
" I know that they are not dead, Isiah , you want them to be dead " Ciel said while looking at him angrily .
Clearly Ciel didn't know what he had done to Isiah .
he just said something with his innocence but that was very deep and it hit Isiah deeply .
' Want them to be dead ? I ….maybe I am ' Isiah thought , even if he found them alive in Emperium Isiah had some thoughts about killing them brutally for leaving Ciel in Delwias Island suffering .
" Dead ? Hmmm, yes I want them to be dead, they treated you very bad" Isiah said very calmly .
He was going to say more bad words about them but he didn't .
" I knew it " Ciel said then turned around , it felt like he wanted to walk away but Isiah just walked very fast and stopped him from taking another step .
" Don't go , we have to talk , you said it , we have to talk , don't run away from me , I am not going to hurt you , please tell me that you know that at least "
When Ciel felt Isiah's hand on his arm , he just pushed him away. Isiah thought that he hated the fact that Isiah touched him when the real reason for that was that Ciel felt pain in his bruised hand.
Isiah just stepped back thinking that Ciel was disgusted or afraid of him, he just couldn't force him even to talk to him after all that happened .
"I am never going to stop looking for them, " Ciel said while glaring at Isiah .
Isiah nodded his head and then sat on the ground , he felt like his body was going to move uncontrollably if he didn't do that .
Therefore he just had to take some time to listen to his own thoughts .
" Do you have any idea where they are ? " Isiah asked, just trying to distract himself from thinking about the people he killed and the urge to feed .
" I don't know, " Ciel replied firmly .
" I asked you before about the story , your story and …and …it didn't end well that day …I regretted even asking you about it …and even then you never told me about what you told ethyl and Eijar …I don't care if it is just bullshit but I wanted you to say those things to me …" Isiah was talking while gasping for air , he just didn't want to keep thinking about the urge, however his body was just in deep chaos .
" I don't want to level up with you , I want to stay here, I search for them , and I don't want to accompany you while you kill everyone on the road …" Ciel said slowly .
Ciel always talked in a slow way as if he was choosing his words selectively .
For a 5 years old kid he was way smarter and also way wiser , he only talked normally when he lost his temper and shouted at Isiah, except for that he was always mistaken for being older than his real age .
" You didn't seem to have a problem with that in Delwias Island " Isiah said to him .
Ciel didn't reply to Isiah , therefore Isiah realized that he made him uncomfortable by saying this .
A moment of silence spread in that place , Isiah just closed his eyes then bowed his torso above him as if he was bowing but he was not , he just couldn't tolerate the ideas and the desire he was feeling .
Ciel looked at Isiah when he did that very surprised then said :" Leave me here with them "
" Them ? "
" Ethyl and Eijar " Ciel explained .
Isiah opened his eyes right away then looked him in the eyes then said :" There is no way I would leave you here behind me , you are going to level up with me "
" I don't want to "
" I don't care , Ciel " Isiah insisted
Ciel just continued to walk because Isiah was not even listening to what he said however Isiah said to him loudly :" I told you that you are my family , so why do you assume that I would leave you behind me "
" Family !"
" Yes "
Ciel stopped walking then he turned around to face Isiah then said :" My family …left me "
When Ciel said those words , he was about to cry , he just couldn't say more but Isiah understood that he wanted to say that Isiah was going to leave him too when time came .
" They are not your family , I am " Isiah shouted at him .
He knew that the relationship between him and Ciel was special but the kid was having so many doubts lately due to Isiah's actions and also the past that was hunting him .
' Leaving a 5 years old kid to face everything all by himself '
Isiah knew that Ciel was not going to come closer therefore he had to accept the distance that was between them .
" Did I hurt you by any chance or something , why are you not accepting me next to you ? Even if I am going to hurt everyone on my way, I will never hurt you " Isiah said to him this time gently .
Ciel just kept looking at everything around him but never looked at Isiah .
"They lived there by choice , I know because I heard them talking about the life they had in a higher region "
When Ciel said those words, Isiah just felt stunned, all of his senses were focused on Ciel and what he decided to share with him .
He didn't even say a word to him just to push him to keep talking .
" They always spoke about the life they had there , it was nothing similar to Delwias Island , and I didn't know most of the things they spoke about , it felt like it was something unrealistic "
Ciel stopped for a moment to collect his breaths then turned around to face Isiah , then he just continued talking to him in that same tone .
"However , none of them told me about anything , I just heard that they lived in a different region before once when they were about to level up , yet they kept talking about their lives before , I couldn't understand why they spoke that way about their life before until the day they left "
Isiah's heart was melting because of the frustration shown on Ciel's face , even the way he was talking made Isiah feel terrible.
" nothing they said before was in this region , I don't even think if they were from where to begin with "
Ciel stopped talking that moment therefore Isiah just looked at him deeply as if he was getting a secret agreement from him to talk with him .
Ciel was waiting for Isiah to talk to him, therefore he just said after a while :" Tell me Isiah, you hate me right ?"
Isiah said to him slowly and calmly :" I still don't know how is that possible , I have never heard of something like that in my entire life , and I don't know why you came to this conclusion , however if you believe this then I am not going to say that it is not true , I think we should look into this …"
Ciel bowed his head , it felt like he was feeling deep guilt at that moment , however isiah didn't notice that .
" No need to confirm it , I did confirm it after they level up , they were not the only to me Ciel "
" I just did " Ciel said firmly
" Ciel, it is not the time for you to just pull away from me , you said this to Eijar and Ethyl , how about you share it with me ? "
Ciel just shouted at Isiah at that moment :" you keep asking and asking and asking , I hate this , Isiah , I hate it "
When Isiah looked at Ciel he noticed that he was breathing heavily , he felt like he had put a lot of pressure on him therefore he just said :" I am sorry "
" No, you are not "