Yan Suizhi gave a start.
Due to him being outside the house earlier, his fingers were cold, whereas Gu Yan’s fingers were scorching.
Yan Suizhi let him hold his hand for a while, waiting for him to tide over that haziness of having just awoken before asking, “What is it?”
Gu Yan’s other hand was rubbing his temple. After a moment, he asked in a hoarse voice, “Where are you going…”
Yan Suizhi lowered his gaze to look at him, and something vexing softly scratched his heart again. It was hard to say if it was more ticklish or prickly. “To the kitchen, to get some medicine for you.”
“… I meant, where are you going with your scarf?”
Yan Suizhi finally recalled that he was still holding his scarf, and immediately broke into soft laughter, saying, “Going to the loft to find a hanger for it.”
Gu Yan started slightly, only then realising that he might have gotten something wrong, and pinched the bridge of his nose. The room was, for a time, utterly quiet. He didn’t let go, nor did the other take his hand away.
This was very rarely seen on Yan Suizhi, even giving a type of misconception that he was acquiescing to, or perhaps even indulging him.
Only, no one knew if this was a special privilege because he was unwell.
However, Yan Suizhi still wiggled the fingers that he had caught on to in the end, reminding him, almost jokingly, “Student Gu, the porridge downstairs is going to turn to mush.”
Gu Yan, “…Sorry.”
He let go. The slight warmth dispersed from Yan Suizhi’s fingertips, and was once again wrapped by coolness.
Until he went downstairs and opened the first-aid kit, Yan Suizhi’s heart was imbued with an indescribable emotion.
He shook out two pills onto his palm, then heard the rustling of footsteps from the staircase.
“Why did you come down? Take some medicine and go back to sleep,” said Yan Suizhi.
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Gu Yan’s actions paused. Holding the cup, he hummed in assent. “Mn. The flight got a notice from De Carma and Helan for testing to be conducted, so it was delayed for a while. I wasn’t sure what time I’d come back.”
“Just that?” Yan Suizhi said. “Were there any issues with the test?”
“…It was okay.” Gu Yan skipped straight to the conclusion, saying, “Otherwise I’d be in Spring Ivy now.”
Yan Suizhi stood by the stone pot, a hand stuck into the pocket of his pants, while his other hand gently stirred the thickening rice porridge clockwise. Hearing this, he didn’t expose him, but said, “The next time that you encounter anything, regardless of whether it’s good or bad—especially if it’s bad news—don’t hide it… If anything happens to you, I hope that I can know as soon as possible.”
After a while, Gu Yan responded with a vague “mn.”
“What ‘mn’?” Yan Suizhi turned his head over. “To be frank, your words aren’t very credible when it comes to this. Are you feeling more awake yet? Bring your photon computer over and write it into a contract so you don’t sound so slipshod.”
He smiled after saying this, and went back to carefully watching the pot of porridge simmer.
Gu Yan gazed at the view of his back without speaking, his dark eyes trembling. Words seemed to nearly escape his tongue, but swivelled to change into another question. “Previously, you mentioned… you found a new apartment?”
“Yeah.”
“Where is it?”
“Over at Belma Belt; it’s within walking distance from Southcross.”
“How are the furnishings?”
“Quite decent. The landlord is an artist, and the walls are filled with his artwork. It’s very clean,” Yan Suizhi said.
Perhaps the earlier injections were now gradually taking effect, or perhaps the warm water did soothe the body some. Gu Yan was more invigorated now than when he had gotten out of bed earlier, but upon hearing this, there was yet another long, drawn-out silence.
He refilled the glass with warm water, leaning against the glazed counter, his eyes following Yan Suizhi’s fair and slender fingers as he stirred with the porcelain spoon, and asked in a deep voice, “What time are you leaving?”
Yan Suizhi smiled, turning his head over to ask huffily, “Why are you in a hurry to chase me out?”
“I’m not.”
“Then why have you asked me twice in less than ten minutes?”
Gu Yan lowered his gaze, staying silent for a while.
Just when Yan Suizhi thought that he was choked speechless by this, and was stifling it back in again, he suddenly spoke—
“If I don’t ask, will you not leave?”
The slightly hoarse voice was low and deep. Its calmness was plain as day, yet it somehow caused a stirring in the heart, just like a jar filled with aromatic wine, sealed tightly behind arrogance; yet, in a moment of inattention, it left just the tiniest crack.
In the forty-three years of his life, Yan Suizhi had encountered all the different impulsive, zealous, overstated ways of expression that had always bore down on him like a surging tide, as though they wouldn’t rest until they could pry open a crack and get a response. After so many years of politely sidestepping all of it, in the end, what worked on him was this line from Gu Yan.
His hand, stirring the porridge, paused. He lifted his gaze.
Gu Yan’s gaze, that never left from where it fell on him, was lighter… and heavier than anything else could be.
Behind him, across the soft carpet of the living room and a few metres more, was a transparent glass wall. Eight newly-planted lamp pines were rustling, swaying in the evening breeze. Some lampflies had acclimated to the new environment, emerging sporadically, winding amidst the frosty fragrance of the lamp pines and dancing on its leaves, like scattered specks of starlight in the dark night sky.
Yan Suizhi gave a cursory look over and seemed to let out a sigh. He spoke softly, “Gu Yan.”
“Mn.”
“The lamp pines you got Joe to procure for you have arrived.”
“I saw.”
Yan Suizhi shifted his gaze to look at him instead. “I heard from Fizz that you aren’t actually that fond of lamp pines.”
Gu Yan paused. He brushed over it, “…Not especially.”
“Then… if I move out, will there be no one to look at these lamp pines?” With this, Yan Suizhi smiled, and, as if casually, said, “The contract I signed with the landlord is on a trial basis. I initially planned to wait for you to come back before leaving, then planned to wait for your fever to go down before leaving tomorrow. Now that these lamp pines have been brought over, I can only change my plans again. So, if you didn’t ask, I really might not leave.”
As Yan Suizhi spoke, he set down the spoon in his hand, unhurriedly took a soft hand towel, and placed the lid over the stone pot.
The faint gurgling of boiling porridge was muffled under the lid. The evening breeze outside the window was dimly audible; starbursts of luminescence fluttered around the lamp pines, and the wide expanse of soft carpet was suffused with an amber glow.
The room was warm and tranquil.
Gu Yan, who was just leaning against the glazed counter beside him with a glass cup like that, carefully watched his every move, then spoke in a deep voice. “I don’t know if I’m delirious from fever, but you’re giving me a bit of a misunderstanding.”
“What misunderstanding?” Yan Suizhi didn’t even lift his head, still minding the porridge.
“… A misunderstanding that I can say something crude, or do something crazy.”
Yan Suizhi’s hands paused. He finally turned over to look at him, lifting his brows. “Such as?”
Gu Yan lowered his gaze as he looked at him, then suddenly pushed his index knuckle beneath the other’s chin. “Such as this.”
Two folds gently creased his shirt at his waist from this movement. He tilted his head down slightly, and kissed the corner of Yan Suizhi’s lips.