CH 100

The letter was written in blood. Who was it? Who sent this to me? Was it Elise? Someone who hates me? My emotions came out full-blown as I was alone in my room. Rage made me tremble.

I became furious. Who did I ruin that made me have to read something like this? Was it Kyles who broke up with me? Or was it Elise who broke up with the Crown Prince? I don’t know. However, I’m not responsible for either of them. In both relationships, I was the victim, not the offender. I was enraged at such ignorance of calling me a bitch even then.

Why… When I have done nothing wrong, do I have to withstand such insults and scars in my mind?

“Sister, is there something wrong?”

I came back to my senses while I was deep in my dark thoughts when I heard Lumi’s concerned voice from outside the door.

“Marin, open the door! Are you okay?” asked Jianne.

“Marin! Answer me!” shouted Chelle.

That’s why being so quick to read one’s mind… is annoying. That was the case for Rave and my cousins. I looked at the mirror before I opened the door. It’s fine. I can’t see anything off about me, so they’ll never know.

“What’s all the fuss?” I asked as I opened the door.

The three of them were staring at me. Then, I saw Daisy standing behind them and froze without realizing it. Her usual sleepy eyes were so clear, unlike usual. Her deep forest-like eyes were visibly clear. It was my servant, who comforted me by bringing me hot chocolate every time I was bullied. My head started to hurt from her eyes that seemed to pierce through me.

I’m not a foolish coward. I’m unhurt by such pain. I’ve been saying it to myself so many times, but I can’t explain why it was so painful.

“Milady, are you alright?”

However, the brief travel to my past was over. I didn’t want to show my weak side anymore, so I lied, “I was just tired and needed some shuteye.”

I acted like nothing was wrong. Everyone looked doubtful but didn’t ask any further. They only sighed.

“Sister, tell us anything if you want to,” said Lumi.

“We’re always here for you,” added Jianne.

“Marin, we can do anything for you,” said Chelle.

“Milady, tell me if you’re tired. I’ll give you a massage,” said Daisy.

I smiled as there was nothing wrong with their words. I didn’t want any harm to come to them because of me. If my pain becomes theirs, they too might leave me as Kyles did.

***

When I was young back when my father was the supervisor to His Majesty, I felt like the world revolved around me. Everyone was friendly toward me and was kind. But my father’s sudden collapse from his seat and the downfall of my family came so suddenly.

The proud and confident 13-year-old me was puzzled by the sudden change in attitudes of the people around me. I was still the same, unchanged, but people looked coldly at me and insulted me just because my background had changed. My confidence and self-consciousness that I had built up fell to the depth slowly like that.

Kids are crueler because they don’t know how to cover their evil. The Northern Academy where I went after our estate moved, had kids calling me “Beggar Harrant” just because of poor-looking clothes. Children from families that tried to befriend my father before, began ignoring me and soon joined those who insulted me and looked at me with those degrading eyes. I tried to act calm, but people who were kind to me before changed their attitudes, which came as a huge shock to my younger self.