CH 101

In my youth, when my mind was full of scars, I saw him. Crouched on the street, the young boy was carefully handling a wildflower to move it to a safer place.

“What’s Pail doing again?”

“He dirtied his clothes for some stupid flowers.”

When I saw that boy, Kyles, I was genuinely shocked. His hands and clothes were dirty because of some worthless flower on the road. And what he said…

“Don’t talk like that. Even if it doesn’t look worthy to you, it might be precious and beautiful to someone out there.”

…Felt like he was referring to me. My heart shook because he claimed a worthless wildflower to be beautiful and cared for it. If he finds something people find insignificant to be worthy, wouldn’t he do the same for me as well? I wanted to be close with him because I thought he would never betray me and remain my friend forever. However, I had no courage, so I tried to leave with a heavy heart.

That’s when Kyles approached me. He gave me his handkerchief as I was crying from being touched by his words and awkwardly asked, “Excuse me, but are you alright? Why are you crying so suddenly?”

After that, I was put into a dilemma when he first confessed his love to me. I didn’t feel that way for him, but I was alone. I was afraid he might leave, so I accepted his confession.

A year later, I was afraid that I might be a loner once again because Kyles graduated as he entered the Academy two years earlier than me. I wished that time would pass as fast as it could. Then, Beth, Aria, and Mion came to me. They were all my valuable friends.

It was like a dream. I had friends who liked me, and Kyles visited me even after graduating from the Academy. After leaving the small world called the Academy, I, unfortunately, awakened from that dream. Friends who became a part of my world had to leave me due to personal reasons. I was left relying only on Kyles. I was foolish and young, so I relied on him for everything. I talked to him about things I found troubling and even complained to him.

But after Kyles, who was the center of my life, betrayed me, I learned a great lesson. I learned that if I annoy people with my problems, those people can always abandon me. That’s why I won’t be weak anymore. I won’t be swayed by those who insult me.

***

I was on my way to the Finance department for an errand when I heard some whispers. I turned around to look and saw some servants.

“So, she’s the one…”

They were in beautiful dresses and well-groomed while insulting me. Even if I had my uncle’s family as support, it wasn’t enough to put out all the flames that had caught on. It was obvious that Elise and her cronies were fanning those flames.

“She’s the daughter of that fallen noble Harrant, isn’t she?”

“What a mess. A fallen noble became so confident just because she became an official.”

“That’s right. It seems her true goal was to grab herself a husband and change her social status.”

“Such lewd actions must have caused her to be dumped.”

I glared at them with the most vicious expression I could make as the insults were coming toward me. Then, I saw them flinching at the sight of me.

‘Don’t you dare talk about my actions. You don’t know half of how I lived… Do I want to change my status by grabbing for myself a good husband? Well, I do want to succeed, but I’ll do it with my own power. I don’t want to rely on someone else.’