CH 7

A beautiful girl with hair dyed pink stands in front of me? A beautiful girl? A Second-Year Senpai who calls herself <Shishiba “Balmung Fezarion” Kanon>, a slightly older girl, was giving an impassioned speech.

[The time has come. You, whose soul resonates with mine, have finally come to respond to my request. Oh, fellow regalo of the righteous cosmos! The celestial bodies have arranged themselves to the right path, and have returned to their rightful place. I heartily welcome your awakening at my call! Kuh……! My eye throbs…… That was close. It seems that your arrival has disturbed the magnificent Weltall hidden within my demon eye.]

She unnaturally puts her bandaged left hand over her right eye, which is covered by an eye patch. And I, half forced to listen to her over the table, languidly sipped the juice I brought from the drink bar.

I’m running out of juice and want to get some more, but I can’t seem to find the right moment to tell her (It’s her treat after all).

Incidentally, she’s wearing a black Gothic Lolita-styled mini dress with black coat over it like a cape (perhaps symbolizing that <Balmung Fezarion> part she attached to her name). She also has a tuft of silver mesh in her bangs and her left eye is blue, looking as if she’s wearing contacts.

[Ahh, yes. I can feel it. The soul buried in the darkness that is about to emerge from the endless void, the movement of evil hidden beneath the eyes of the entire world! Fufufu, it seems that the time for me to release this sealed power of mine draws near. My demon eye and the supreme artifact that resides in my left hand! However, I must regain it first. The source of the power of the chosen ones, we who possess the Spirit of the Transcendents! In other words, the Mighty Regalia! The infinite power in its full glory, the mysteries that govern all things in nature! The birth of a new me! The legendary…… Ugh! The Truth of the Sacred Sacrilege makes my demon eye throb……! Don’t tell me…… This is an omen foretold by the Grimoire!?]

She is a beautiful and stylish paisen, but I wonder what this is…… This subtle disappointment. However, the subtle disappointment she has was unlike Mary-san, whose disappointment is just on another level, moving around in all directions like a Klein vase.

[Now is the time for the holy light to illuminate the darkness! In the name of my covenant, transcending the boundaries of heavens above us, reveal yourself! I see it! All is visible within my eyes! You are the destined piece that will open the sky of the demonic heavens and fill the unending void leading the ninth dimension! Now, let’s make a Soul Contract to protect eternity!!!]

Shivering as if her words had brought her to an orgasm, she held out a piece of printed paper and a ballpen to me over the table.

In a surprisingly normal, clear-cut font, the content is as follows————–

【　Club Registration Form　】

Organization: Society for the Study of Paranormal Phenomena

""

Classification: Circle

Activities:

Research on Paranormal Phenomena

Practice on Psychic Powers

Activity Dates: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

Members: 3

President: Shishiba “Balmung Fezarion” Kanon

Vice-President: Tsurushi “Outside Force” Touma

Treasurer: Saionji “World Diver” Conan

Clubroom: Pending

Facilities: Library, Courtyard

In accordance with the above-mentioned information, I would like to report my intent to join the club.

Name: _________________________

[Now, sign here and together, we will survive the appointed time of the Apocalypse! Ahh, how I thank the Great Will of the Most Supreme Heavens for the intricacy of this day’s fated intricacies! Wouldn’t you agree!?]

[No, if you ask me, it feels more like I’m being led into a badger game.]

[Why!? ……No, that’s not it. You need not worry! Why is it that we are here!? It is because we felt the same glimmer in our destiny, a unison in our souls! There’s not the slightest need to hesitate. Let’s join hands together and unleash our hidden power!]

Kanon-senpai, looking flustered, folds her arms and tries to get me, who was still feeling undecided, to join her club.

[No, the entrance ceremony had just ended, so I was just thinking if I should put myself through the penance of debuting as a loner, so I just followed Senpai when you called me, and didn’t have any other intention, you know? Also, I was bored and eating alone in a family restaurant during lunchtime doesn’t really look good. ————Ah, I’ll order today’s daily chicken mixed plate.]

Well, even though she was obviously a suspicious person, the main reason I followed her was that she was a beautiful woman with a nice body, but at the same time, I just couldn’t suppress my curiosity to observe the precious mode of life of someone who suffers from chuunibyou.

Fortunately, it was lunchtime, inside a family restaurant near the university right after the entrance ceremony, and looking to the sides, the place is filled with students sharing seats with each other, surrounded by eccentrically dressed senpais,  who were either friends who got along with each other or were recruiting for their clubs, so we were able to keep a low profile.

[———–Kuh…… S- Still, you were more or less interested, so you followed me, right? I mean, this might be the first time I’ve ever met someone who would just order lunch in this situation without a second though…… As expected of the rumored <Twilight Guardian>!]

I’m starting to see the situation the more I talk with her.

It seems that she was trying her best to create a unique character, but it’s slightly spinning out of control. In the first place, I can tell that the conversation earlier was just a pretense when she sometimes forgets her acting.

In fact, from the very beginning, communicating with an alien-like person who speaks about things I just don’t understand is something like a constant boke-tsukkomi exchange, and I have no idea where we’re going to end up.

It’s like an astonishing roller coaster ride, so to speak. Like, you’re just supposed to start from Tokyo Station and go to Aomori, but you’d somehow end up getting the Machine Body: Andromeda…… or so you were thinking, but you’d suddenly find yourself in the Underground World, Pellucidar. Just like the conversation with Mary-san.

So, I can stay composed against someone of her level. I’m already an adult living in a big city after all.

[Ah, it’s alright. I’ll pay for my own share. ……Also, you’re also giving me one of those ring names?]

The name <Twilight Guardian> is a curious one, so I suppose I’ll google it for a bit.

Unnn. This is perfectly within the bounds of common sense, just as normal as heading for Aomori only to arrive at Suzuka.

[It’s not a ring name! This is one’s true name engraved in one’s soul! A sacred name that triumphantly shines its light in the whole world!]

Shishiba “Balmung Fezarion” Kanon, puffing out her plump chest, indignantly declared.

Around that time, at a table a short distance away……

[Arehh? Isn’t that the second-year student Satou?]

[Ah, you’re right. She’s in that outfit again. She really likes those kinds of stuff. It seems like she’s with a new student, but I guess she’s trying to recruit him. She’s really trying her best to prevent that club of hers to be abolished, but that’s just a waste of time and effort.]

[Yeah, the only members of that club is a ghost member and a game addict shut-in who hardly shows up…… Well, she’s probably desperate because it seems that if their club doesn’t have 5 members this year, their club will be abolished.]

[Ahh, I’ve heard that she attaches incomprehensible nicknames to her members. Like, that ghost member is named <Outside Force> , while that game addict is <World Diver>.]

[Heck, the person herself doesn’t call herself by her real name, “Satou Hanako”, and was introducing herself with an incomprehensible alias.]

[She may be a beautiful young lady with good grades, but even if it’s just for show, I wouldn’t want to be part of her clique.]

As soon as she overheard that conversation, Satou-senpai awkwardly stopped moving and broke out in a sweat.

[Errr…… Aren’t you going to order something too, Satou Hanako-senpai? You’ve treated me in the drink bar, so I could treat you if it’s for the salad bar.]

[S- Stop right there! Did you just call me “Hanako”!? That is just a name to disguise my common name. It’s just a nickname!]

Hanako-san emphasized so.

[Huh. So, the names of the other club members are also different from their names in the family register……?]

I guess it’s like a pen name? Remember a friend of mine who wrote under the pen name “Pink ☆ Nipple” on a novel submission site in high school that caught the attention of a certain publishing company and ended up being published (which is something her severely regretted), I pointed on one part of the registration form I had just received.

[That aside, no matter how I look at it, the name written here is “Shinichi”, so isn’t it impossible to read this as “Conan”?]

Upon my words, Kanon-senpai embarrassedly looked away and answered.

[That’s actually his real name. Seriously, that’s the name given to them by his parents.]

[ [ ……………….. ] ]

No wonder the guy turned into a game addict shut-in. He too is a victim of the distorted modern society.

All I can do for the guy here is pray for his sake.

[———–So, which one are you getting? For me, choosing between different mixed fry lunches is difficult……]

[You changed the subject as if nothing had happened!? Rather, aren’t you curious about the origin of your soul name <Twilight Guardian>!?]

[It seems like they have three varieties in their salad bar, corn, onion and tomato, which do you want?]

[Can’t you listen to me!?]

No, I don’t really care what she’s saying, so I am trying to get her off that subject.

[I had information about you in advance and called out to you! After all, you stand at the center of the Chaos Spot that controls the Ren Line in the Demonic City Tokyo. It is your domain and the place of our battle. You have moved into the haunted apartment “Nebula Manor”, which is the subject of many gruesome rumors, aren’t you?]

A moment after the name of my apartment, “Nebula Manor” was shouted, the people at the surrounding tables, who had been talking about each other’s hometowns, e-mailing each other’s contact information and adding each other in different social media……

[ [ [ [ [ ……Hyiiihhhh……!?!? ] ] ] ] ]

For some reason, all of their eyes opened wide and gasped.

Just like an air pocket that took up all sounds, only the corner near us in that bustling family restaurant at lunchtime has gone quiet. Not understanding why it felt like I’m sitting in ground zero, I tilted my head.

[That’s right, but what do you mean by haunted apartment?]

[Yes! The people who moved into that apartment went crazy within 3 days, quit college, went back to their hometowns, and were never seen again. They were either possessed by an evil spirit, witnessed outer space apparitions, or were sacrificed by heretics. Anyway, there’s no shortage of such anecdotes about that place. I’m sure you’ve also witnessed bizarre sights and seen things that defy common sense, haven’t you?]

She leaned forward and asked, but I had no idea what she was talking about.

She seemed to be expecting an anecdote like “Tamori-san standing in the dark”, but rumors are just rumors, and there’s no such thing as supernatural.

[Unfortunately, there’s nothing out of the ordinary. I guess they must have thought the stains on the ceilings of the old building is a ghost and the rattling of the apartment’s cheap structure is some sort of poltergeist phenomenon.]

[No way!? My seventh sense is definitely detecting anomalies!? Something definitely must have happened!]

As I watched her get all riled up and forcefully explain about supernatural phenomena and psychic powers, I somehow understood the true nature of the subtle disappointment I had felt earlier.

In other words, this woman, Satou Hanako-san, is a sub-character by nature.

She is more capable and well-balanced than other people, but in other words, she’s a character without any unexpected factors or development. This means that although she isn’t excessive or deficient for life in general society, she isn’t a character who suddenly bursts into action when, for example, terrorists attack her school, gets summoned to another world, or suddenly gets involved in a battle for the fate of the world. Such is the role of a mob, which until now has not stood out.

But that being the case, a character like her would quickly fall into the supporting role. She isn’t the type that can act as the main heroine. She would be more like a sub-character or a sub-heroine.

Although it may not be as extreme as my earlier examples, she may have experienced such bitter experiences, and despaired the difference in destiny in comparison to her qualities and talents, and as a result, she has become this distorted huh?

[Gununununu……]

Glancing at the groaning Kanon-senpai……

[Well then, I’ll go order my meal~~]

While the hustle and bustle of the surroundings returned again, I pressed the buzzer on the table.

◇　◆　◇

Leaving Kanon-senpai who desperately tried to stop me from leaving after the meal was over————- which ended up with me being half-forced to exchange e-mails with her————- I returned to my apartment carrying a tote bag with my belongings in it.

[……Is it just my imagination or does this Ninomiya Kinjiro have a different pose every time I see it?]

Walking by the Kinjiro statue, which I feel has a slightly different pose from its trademark one, and greeting the mischievous Caretaker-san, who was drawing elaborate crop circles by knocking down weeds with a broom……

[Ah, Student-san. You should watch your steps~~]

I followed her kind advice and climbed the stairs of the apartment.

My feet are strangely heavy today, probably because of the many things that happened.

It may have just been my imagination, but my eyes are kinda blurry and I feel like I saw white hands seemingly floating up to my feet and grabbing my ankles, but I’m someone who has been riding my bicycle 17km to and from school since I was in grade school.

When I returned to my room after steadily walking back and not minding the heaviness in my feet, gradually shaking it off before I knew it, I found that translucent hallucination woman rubbing both of her wrists with teary eyes.

Perhaps because of all the nonsensical stories I had heard today, the room somehow seemed dark.

I wish I could divert my emotions at a time like this————

As I put down my luggage and changed my clothes, I received the usual phone call from Mary-san.

With the perfect way to pass the time in hand, I quickly picked up the phone and answered.

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. Seeing one-eyed characters makes me want to crush the other eye too……”

Mary-san came in with a greeting that made me think that she had seen everything that happened around me today. Also, she’s making a lot of problematic statements for a Hero and for a human, but well, when it comes to Mary-san, I suppose that’s just the same as usual.

[……But well, I guess it’s better than Kanon-senpai’s two-faced hurtful remarks.]

All these nonsense about how people here came from the pits of hell. It’s much healthier to enjoy a conversation with Mary-san, who seems to have an appendix growing out of her brain, than to be told about invaders from another dimension.

Telling me to have a sound mind, what the heck is she talking about……

As a question that I shouldn’t think about suddenly popped into my mind, I covered it up and put it away somewhere on the shelves in my mind.

I’m not sure if she somehow heard my inner monologue or not……

“What are you talking about? Is it perhaps the black sheep Hanako-san, who is always eating her food in the toilet of a girl’s school……?”

[You’re wrong! Rather, you guys are doing that!?]

Bullying people is no good.

“Mnghh, so it really is true? Mary-san’s womanly intuition is detecting a flag of infidelity…… Well, I’ll get back to that later, but right now, I’ve got a bit of a problem……”

She isn’t someone that would normally relax in her questioning, but it seems that she was in serious trouble.

A Mary-san who modestly brings the issue to me……

But well, rather than that, I’m not sure if it’s just my imagination or not, but I can hear what sounds like a lot of people jeering on the other end of the call.

[Did something happen?]

“Errr, ummm, it looked like only the tip was left stuck there, but I just couldn’t get it out, so I tried forcing it, but everyone in town saw me and got mad at me……”

My mind went black at that.

[————-W- What the heck happened!?]

“Like I said, I found it on the roadside, not knowing about it and seeing its tip stuck in there…… Mary-san did her best in pulling it, but even with all my strength, I couldn’t force it out……”

[Calm down! First, take a deep breath, drink some water, and then calmly tell me what’s going on!]

I suddenly felt a shiver run through my chest.

Don’t tell me, someone tricked such a small, stupid child and forced her to……

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. Alright. I’d like to have some water———— Right, a farewell cup of water that settles this matter. Also, I don’t want Mori n* Mizu. It has to be evian water…..”

Mary-san went and demanded someone for water.

I’m not sure why she’s being all picky at her orders, and I think that the analogy she made there is slightly wrong.

After a moment, Mary-san, who seems to have calmed down after drinking some water, continues.

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. Actually, while I was walking around today……”

The following is a summary of her story————

Mary-san was taking a walk, when she happened to notice a sword in the town plaza that had its tip stuck in a rock. And then, Mary-san got so curious about it that she climbed up on the rock and tried to pull it out, but it wouldn’t budge.

It still wouldn’t budge even when she was standing firm with both hands holding the sword’s hilt.

She got fed up and brought out the <Annihilation-Type Mobile Heavy Armor> that she bought yesterday, but it didn’t budge even when the armor transformed to full power.

Eventually, gotten tired of trying to pull it, she decided to draw obscene graffiti around the sword pierced in the stone and wrote the words “just the tip” nearby, and while she was taking out her anger, the townspeople, hearing the commotion, gathered around……

[Cuts everything to pieces. The symbol of the town, which is said to cut through everything and one day defeat the Evil God. What the heck are you doing to the Legendary Hero’s Holy Sword <Empera Sword>, you brat!?]

(T/N: Kote Ken)

———and she got scolded.

Incidentally, I don’t know if the people there just found saying “Emperor” difficult, but what should be <Emperor Sword> is now apparently pronounced as “Empera Sword”.

That aside, what the heck is this brat doing now……

(T/N: Koutei (Emperor) got turned into Kote.)

“A Hero’s sword? In that case, the Hero Mary-san will pull it out of the stone! And so, I’m going to get serious from now on……!”

And then, hearing the sword’s history, instead of apologizing for what she did, she instead went and actually did the opposite (←Mary-san calls at this moment).

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. And now, everyone’s seething with rage that it’s scary. Even though it was just an innocent childish prank……”

[Where exactly is that innocent!? With what you did, you can’t complain even if you were burned at the stake right then and there!!!]

You drew a freaking p*ssy symbol around the Holy Sword! Go drink that farewell cup of water and commit sudoku!!!

“However, even though I said I could do it, I’m already running out of ideas…… What do you think I should do……?”

No, I think you’re already at a complete standstill. If you’re going to ask for advice, I wish you would have asked me that a little earlier. The only thing I can think of now is to turn the whole area into ruins with the <Annihilation-Type Mobile Heavy Armor> and escape…… No, wait.

[……That Holy Sword apparently can “cut through anything”, right?]

“Well, it apparently has that setting……”

[In that case, rather than “pulling” it, you should “raze” through the direction the sword’s blade is pointed and cleave the rock in half?]

At that moment, I heard her lightly clap her hands.

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. I never thought of that! I’m glad I asked. This would be our first time working together……!”

It’s not on the level of a cake-cutting ceremony though.

“Let’s say our vows at the same time. For richer, for poorer……”

Reciting out the marriage vows from memory, Mary-san rustled around on the other end of the call.

After lightly flapping her short arms and legs, she gripped the hilt of the Holy Sword with both hands and seemed to raze it downward with all her weight.

A moment later———–

Klang.

The sound of something being destroyed echoed.

“Ah, it broke……”

Mary-san’s voice sounded listless.

“It’s metal fatigue. Or perhaps, this thing may have been more poor-quality than I thought……”

[ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ Like hell that’s the case————!!! ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]

Immediately, the angry shouts of the people’s tsukkomi on the other end of the phone and me were unleashed at the same time like a tsunami toward Mary-san.

◇　◆　◇

And in the end, as expected, the people couldn’t just come together and gang up on a little girl. And since Mary-san was nominally an authentic (?) Hero, the broken Holy Sword was given to Mary-san as it was (due to the adult’s judgment that a broken Holy Sword is bad for their reputation), and later, a dwarven blacksmith reforged it and remodeled it into a knife according to Mary-san’s wish.

[The Holy Sword got turned into a Deba knife……]

Responding to my mortified words, Mary-san, in her usual tone of voice……

“Japanese katanas have always been called a “Manslayer’s Knife” for a long time, so it’s basically still the same……”

[No, that’s the opposite of what it means!]

“And now that it has been reforged, its name will now be changed to <Empera Sword II>……”

It somehow turned into a knife with a cursed name, something someone brings around to slay people at night.

(T/N: Kote Ken → Kote Two → Kotetsu. A knife highly-priced for its extreme sharpness and edge retention.)

“Hello, it’s Mary-san. <Empera Sword II> craves for blood tonight……”

Ah, I guess it’s alright huh. Not like there’s anything to subtract from Mary-san’s zero decency.

While Mary-san was in that mood, such a thought popped in my mind.

Nevertheless, there’s indeed a difference between a natural and someone acting on a pretense. With this comparison, I realized that the impact brought about by the eternal sub-character, Kanon-senpai, was wiped out before I knew it.