Volume 3 - CH 5

Chapter 5: Chinese Noodles

It was already lunchtime, so I stood up.

“I’m out for lunch.”

I said, locking my computer. My colleague, without taking his eyes off the monitor, answered “Enjoy your meal.”

As usual.

Normally, I’d go to Yoshida-senpai’s desk and invite him. But not today.

I quickly walked over to Gotou-san’s desk.

I went up to her and before I even opened my mouth to talk to her, she looked at me.

“Ah, Mishima-san?”

She bowed her head in confusion as if she was saying “What’s wrong?”. Don’t “What’s wrong?” me.

Gotou-san should have also noticed. Something was wrong with Yoshida-senpai in the morning. There’s no way it didn’t bother her.

“Gotou-san… Would you like to have lunch together?”

I suggested this with a dead-serious expression on my face. She looked at the screen, nodded, and then said quietly.

“Go ahead. I’ll send an email and catch up with you.”

“Alright. I’ll find a table for us then.”

“Okay.”

She smiled and looked at the monitor again. Seeing her typing on the keyboard, I quickly headed to the cafeteria.

I searched the cafeteria to find out where Yoshida-senpai was. While I was talking with Gotou-san a moment before, he and Hashimoto-senpai had already ordered food, sat at a table, and started eating.

Watching them out of the corner of my eye, I stood in front of the vending machine with my meal ticket[1]. Usually, I take fried salmon, but today I wasn’t in the mood. Actually, today I wasn’t in the mood to order anything at all, so I was just staring at the machine.

As people began to gather behind me, I could hardly relax. I was thinking about taking udon or soba when one particular button caught my eye. I pressed on it as if I was drawn to it. I got the meal ticket and gave it to the counter.

“Oh, not going to order fried salmon today?”

“Nope, not in the mood.”

“That happens sometimes… An order of Chinese noodles! Here’s your number.”

I’ve already become known as a “fried salmon girl,” which is actually pretty cute. I took the number and went to a table.

I chose a place away from Yoshida-senpai’s table, so he wouldn’t hear our conversation. While I was waiting, Gotou-san also came. When my order was ready, I picked it up at the counter, then met Gotou-san at the table.

“I brought my lunch.”

She said, showing the bag from a convenience store. There was only a salad inside.

“As usual.”

As I sat down, I pointed at Gotou-san’s bag.

“Is that really enough?”

The moment I asked, her eyes widened and she laughed.

“Hehe, so the junior’s acting like a senior?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you think that’s enough?”

She asked. I always hate when someone answers a question with a question.

“No, I didn’t think so, that’s why I asked.”

“Hehe, exactly.”

Gotou-san took out a salad from the bag and tore open the package. She smiled as she was mixing it.

“Well, at least I’ll have a proper dinner then.”

“…I see.”

So this isn’t enough for her. I don’t understand. Is it that difficult to say “Not enough”? It’s just two words, why dance around it? Although I didn’t have any reason to ask her that question either, so I just agreed.

“Well then…”

Gotou-san shot me a puzzled look as she was splitting the chopsticks.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“…You already know, don’t you?”

“Hehe.”

She giggled and put some salad in her mouth. Chewing, she again gave me a puzzled look. She wanted me to say it.

“It’s about Yoshida-senpai. No, not him… rather about Kanda-san.”

“About Ao Kanda-san?”

She just swallowed the salad and nodded.

“I was surprised.”

“Did you know?”

“What?”

“That she knew Yoshida-senpai.”

I remembered the morning assembly. Everything was obvious.

“No, I didn’t know this either.”

Just as I thought. Gotou-san looked at the table and shook her head.

“To begin with, I had nothing to do with Kanda-san’s transfer. I only reviewed her documents that were passed to me.”

“So that’s how it was.”

While talking, I grabbed my bowl of Chinese noodles and began to eat. Thick and rather loose.

What an unexpected turn of events. It wasn’t easy for me even with Gotou-san alone, who Yoshida-senpai is in love with, then a high school girl that ran away from home appeared, and now there’s also a senior from his high school days.

Besides, he looks at her in a weird way. It feels like in that gaze there’s even more “love” than in the way he looks at Gotou-san.

“Hehe.”

She chuckled and again drew my attention.

“What?”

“Such a stern look.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“Of course about you.”

Her shoulders were shaking as she giggled. She looked at me, narrowing her eyes.

“Are you afraid that Yoshida-kun will be taken away?”

Her words pissed me off. Her self-confident attitude, to be precise.

“Aren’t you worried too, Gotou-san?”

I asked without even thinking. But I figured that until I ask her directly, she is not going to answer.

Her eyes widened in surprise for a moment, but then she recovered and tilted her head with her usual smile. Without saying anything, she continued to chew the salad, while I was eating noodles. It swelled even more.

After swallowing, she sighed.

“But…”

She said, looking away from me.

“Yoshida-kun’s reaction was really strange. This was the first time I saw him that interested in a woman.”

Well, of course… She didn’t answer my question, again.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Exactly. Me too… I haven’t seen it in a long time.”

“In a long time?”

I didn’t say “The first time,” so Gotou-san stared at me. In such moments, she reacts pretty quickly.

“…No, nothing. Forget about it.”

“Are you sure it’s nothing?”

“Yes, I am.”

Before Sayu-chan appeared, Yoshida-senpai also looked that way at Gotou-san. But I didn’t want to tell her that.

I ended the conversation and just stared at her.

“So what are we going to do? Just leave them be?”

“Leave them be… Neither you nor I are dating Yoshida-kun. So it’s up for him to decide.”

“That way, Kanda-san will really take him away.”

“Hehe.”

She laughed, but I frowned.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Gotou-san fell silent again and looked straight into my eyes.

“Whatever will be, will be, right?”

“But…”

I couldn’t answer right away. As if she revealed her true self and her words suddenly hit home.

“Human feelings can’t be controlled.”

“Um…”

“Forcing him to fit the desired mold, even if you got the result you wanted…”

She stuck chopsticks into the salad and looked at them. It felt like she was squeezing my insides, and I was just waiting for her to continue.

“How long will it last?”

“W-Well…”

I barely brought myself to say anything.

“So, you are saying that there’s no point in trying?”

Gotou-san closed her eyes and shook her head.

“I’m not saying that there’s no point. It’s just…”

Lowering her head, she continued.

“Even if he accepts the mold initially, over time he’ll return to his original self.”

I realized that she really believes this, and that’s why she says this to me.

It’s usually hard to know what’s on her mind, but here, Gotou-san exposed her feelings. I was surprised.

However.

At the same time, it gave me an unpleasant feeling in my heart.

“Why’s that?”

I suddenly blurted it out.

Gotou-san looked at me.

“You’re just afraid of the consequences.”

She didn’t answer me anything, yet I understood everything.

“You can make an effort, and maybe lose something sometimes, but you prefer to wait until everything becomes exactly the way you want it.”

After I said that, Gotou-san frowned for the first time.

I didn’t know why, but I was completely enraged. Perhaps because she likes Yoshida-san and doesn’t do anything, or because I realized that I’m losing to her.

I was furious. So, I wanted to tell her everything.

“Whereas I’m more afraid that if I don’t do anything, I’ll lose what I can possibly get. Wait for everything to be as I need it? And who said that this moment will even come?”

“Mishima-san.”

“Isn’t it arrogant to just stand by and be chosen by someone who’s wanted by so many other people? Is this the mold you were talking about?!”

“Mishima-san!”

Gotou-san said louder than usual and I regained consciousness.

The dining room became quiet. I looked around as our colleagues looked at us with displeasure. Yoshida-senpai and Hashimoto-senpai from the far table also looked at us.

“…You’re making too much noise.”

Gotou-san said annoyingly.

I cleared my throat and bowed.

“…I’m sorry.”

My face was burning, but I understood. I overdid it.

Gotou-san smiled and shook her head.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You also need to speak out sometimes, Mishima-san.”

“No, I’m really sorry…”

“Hehe.”

Gotou-san put down her chopsticks and stretched her arms.

“Well, as for Kanda-san, you just have to observe.”

“Observe?”

“Yes, exactly.”

She nodded and raised her index finger.

“You shouldn’t do anything before we find out what kind of relationship they had and what he thinks about it.”

“Well, you’re right…”

“Until we find out, we’ll just observe. And if there’s something strange, then we’ll intervene.”

She smiled, picked up her chopsticks, grabbed the salad, and continued to eat. It seemed strange to me, so I said.

“You act like it doesn’t bother you.”

“It doesn’t.”

“But you like Yoshida-senpai, don’t you?”

I asked her that question and she blinked a few times.

“I do like him, that’s why I think that there’s no point in doing something.”

“Huh?”

I blurted out.

I didn’t get what she meant. But she said it seriously.

While I was just batting my eyes, Gotou-san pointed at my bowl.

“If you don’t eat, the noodles will get soggy.”

“Oh.”

I looked at the bowl, the Chinese noodles, which I hadn’t really eaten, were getting soggy.

Seeing me grabbing my chopsticks, Gotou-san started to giggle.

“You’re so cute, Mishima-san.”

I frowned in reply and retorted.

“And you’re weird, Gotou-san.”

Her eyes widened and she laughed.

[1] Editor’s Note: Not to be confused with the American “meal ticket.” Most restaurants and cafeterias in Japan have a “meal ticket” system where you place your order via a meal ticket machine.