C227

I am Zixi, in the eyes of many people I am only Princess Anping.

Ever since I could remember, I knew that I was different from the others, even though the things I ate were often worse than the others.

Regarding his childhood, the most he could remember was that he hadn't been able to eat his fill.

Yes, as a princess, not being able to eat one's fill was a ridiculous matter.

Therefore, no one believed it, not even the mufei. At the beginning I tried to tell her, but every time I got her cold face and disgusted eyes.

After so many times, I finally learned to be good, and stopped saying things she thought were ridiculous in front of her. Every time before I saw her, I would ask my nurse to dress me up beautifully, and I tried to learn to smile, opening my mouth again and again, stretching it out and then turning it into some kind of fixed range.

I don't remember how long I tried it, but luckily I succeeded in the end. From then on, no matter if I was sad or sad, or even when I was hungry and dizzy, I was able to 'laugh' naturally.

Then I saw satisfaction in her eyes.

Yes, I was satisfied. That was the first time I learned that mufei was a beauty.

She was very pretty when she smiled, and I finally understood that the ladies who whispered about her beauty were not nonsense, because... She had the ability.

Even at such a young age, I couldn't help but be stunned by such a beautiful person, let alone a man.

But...

I'm not happy, and even knowing all this, I'm not happy.

Yes, I'm unhappy, not at all.

Beauty and the like are things that only last for an instant to me. After being stunned, countless nights were left for me to starve to death and no one could imagine that at that age, a four or five-year-old child would often not be able to eat his fill. Especially at night, I would always feel a hand desperately grabbing at his stomach …

What that beautiful mufei left me was only indifference.

A cold smile, a cold glance …

Even though she had gifted him countless luxurious clothes, but for a little girl like her who couldn't even fill her stomach, what was the use of such luxurious clothes? In the end, he couldn't fill his stomach.

It's a good thing that I have a wet nurse. If I didn't have a wet nurse all those years, I might not be in this world anymore.

Anping, yes, I am Princess Anping.

Everyone thought that I would be able to obtain such a title. This is the favor of royal father, and very few people know that this title was actually given to me by royal father. When I was still alive and became royal father, my name was Zixi.

The nurse took it.

Yes, that name was taken by a wet nurse.

Nanny, before you became my nanny, you were born into an influential family. You are a rare talented girl, skilled in music, calligraphy and painting. After she had given the man three children, he had taken her to court as a wet nurse, and she had never seen her own child again. Every time she looked at me, I could feel that she was looking through me at someone else. It's just that I would never say it, I would just pretend that I didn't know it, and then I would greedily enjoy everything that she treats me with.

If I don't say it, it's because I feel guilty. I'm worried that if I say it out loud, would my wet nurse treat me this way?

This kind of feeling was like a small thief stealing someone else's things. Even if the others didn't discover it, he was still very nervous and would always be afraid of being seen by others. Actually, I was secretly happy in my heart. I was even very happy that the man didn't have eyes, and that he had abandoned his mistress for the sake of a few dozen silver taels. For if that man had not done so, there would not have been such a good nurse for me, and I might not have survived at all.

The first time was when I was three years old and had a high fever and refused to retreat. She knelt outside the mufei's palace for a full six hours, but mufei was only in a hurry to pacify her imperial brother who had been punished in the academy. She let the mufei kneel for a few hours, but she never even saw the mufei. That night, Nanny hugged me and cried so hard that I could almost cry. In my daze, I heard Nanny talk about her past and then talk about that man …

At that time, royal father's health was already very bad. Even though a girl like me, who wouldn't even look at my birth mother's concubine, wouldn't have the chance to see royal father, I still frequently heard news about him. It should be said that my information is much more accurate than many people. After all, no one will pay attention to a little girl. As a result, the palace maids and eunuchs wouldn't avoid me when they spoke, so I was very clear about what my royal father ate, how much he ate, when he rested at night, what medicine he ate, which imperial physician he invited, and what the imperial physician said …

Of course, I never mentioned any of this except to my nurse.

Actually, it's not that I don't want to say it, but I really don't know who else to say it to except for Nanny.

And every time, the nurse just tightly hugged me, gently stroked my head, and whispered to me: "Zixi be good, other than the nurse, don't mention these words, no one else is allowed to say them."

At that time, I didn't understand why Nanny was so serious, but I still nodded obediently.

But a child, in the end, is still just a child. Even if I'm a lot earlier than other children of the same age, I'm still a child after all. Unintentionally told a imperial sister that she wasn't doted on that she vomited blood at night, and then … Then I was thrown into a lotus pond.

Although the willow leaves had already sprouted in the capital, it was still cold in the third and fourth months of the year. A three or four-year-old child was thrown into a lotus pond just like that. If it wasn't for the wet nurse finding me in time, I would have been frozen to death even if I hadn't drowned.

Fortunately, the wet nurse found me in time and fished me out with all her might. But even so, I was still scared and cold. At my young age, I fell ill with a high fever and kept talking nonsense. The children of the imperial family would always die prematurely. Every year, there would be many children who would die, and no one would be able to find out the reason why. In the end, they were still unable to raise their children.

Even though royal father is still in that position, everyone is calculating when he will leave. Countless eyes are fixated on that position, and for children like us who were born in the royal family, every single one of us has to die, so every imperial concubine will do everything possible to protect our own child. As for the family …

Unless the mother race is powerful and capable, she'll be like me.

Of course, no matter who it was, they were still better off than me. At least they didn't have to worry about not being full or wearing warm clothes.

Being looked upon as a face by royal father, mufei was indeed doted on when she was young. However, after she grew old and her royal father's health was not good, she slowly lost her former glory. She was determined to protect her royal brother, so this daughter of mine naturally didn't have any extra energy. Or did Nanny use her hometown's Earth Cube to make a last stand …

I don't remember a lot of things, and then a lot of them were told to me by the nurse.

At first, the wet nurse thought that I wouldn't be able to survive, but miraculously, I gradually recovered. Furthermore, my originally weak body also improved.

This was a blessing in disguise.

The second time we were forced to leave the palace, the nurse mentioned him again, but that time she mentioned him as if she had seen a handsome young man, and said that if her son were still alive, he would look the same.

Soo Soo, yes. It was a elegant young man.

He looked to be seventeen or eighteen years old. Although he was dressed in ordinary clothes, which could not be considered gorgeous in the slightest, but …

With his sharp features, deep eyes, and powerful arms, he always gave others a sense of security.

He was the first male outsider I'd ever seen.

Yes, an outsider was a man who was only related to his royal brother.

Even though mufei had spent all her energy on royal brother, he had treated me quite well. During those years, the happiest person was royal brother who had come to visit me.

Every time, I would have to carefully hide it well and eat it bit by bit, not allowing myself to finish it all at one go. This is because my royal brother wouldn't come every day, and if I finished it all at once, then it would mean that I would be starving for a very long time.

He was completely different from his royal brother, who always wore a faint smile, and I had never seen a smile on his face before.

However … But he saved my life...

At that time, royal father was already in a bad situation, he would be lying in bed everyday and the palace would be in chaos. If it wasn't for the wet nurse who sneaked out with me, maybe I would have died in the chaos too.

And he saved me.

That was the first time I saw such a chaotic battle, and it was also the first time I saw so many people die. Only then did I realize that my life was so fragile that I could have died if I wasn't careful.

Along the way, he was the one who was hugging me tightly. I could hear the constant sounds of fighting and killing. My face was covered in blood and the air was filled with the smell of blood. But … I felt unusually warm in his arms, as if I didn't have to worry about anything with him there …

When I was seven or eight, I asked him, "Big brother, will we meet again?"

He laughed, and that was the first time I saw him laugh. He laughed and shouted back, "Yes, yes, of course!"

The third time is...

Before her woman gave birth, she knelt in front of me and begged me to forgive that man. At that moment, I felt as if my world had gone dark. I agreed, because she was the closest person I had ever been to in this world. Yes, the person closest to me in the past. I once thought that even if everyone would let me down, bully me, and treat me badly, she would always accompany me.

But at that moment I knew I was wrong.

I have not seen her since that day, nor have I seen her again, even when she was kneeling outside the Phoenix-Garden.

Until her death, she had never seen her again.

If she had told me earlier, I could have... I can back down, I can... He's her son, and I can understand that she wants a grandson...

After all … After all, she had three children, and the only one that survived was this one. Moreover, it was so outstanding that it was even more outstanding than all of the princes. He should have a descendant, no … Perhaps many of the descendants...

But I can't accept what she did...