Chapter 190: I don’t want to lose
Aizel’s one-sided questioning continued after she regained her composure.
How did I manage to slip through the Demonic Rift so quickly, how and when did I realize she was a regressor, and so on, all of which were difficult questions to answer.
Most of all, the question of what happened to the curse was one that I was deeply troubled by and eventually she came to the conclusion that it was the tears of the dead.
Of course, I couldn’t just say, “You must be mistaken.”
I struggled to explain myself, but my vague answer didn’t stop her from pursuing me.
She just wrapped her arms around my waist and conveyed that she didn’t want to let go anymore.
For the moment, it felt good and so Aizel continued to talk in my arms.
“...I asked him if it was the first time we met, and do you know what he said?”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘It’s an entrance ceremony, it’s natural for everyone to be new... Hmph... Well, I laughed because he wasn’t wrong... Zetto came to me like that, like a meteor that suddenly fell from the sky... This is where we saw the fireworks last time, remember?”
“I remember. You said it was your favorite place.”
“Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been there, because it’s kind of lonely to go alone.”
“Well, maybe we should go together next time. It’s quieter there, which is nice for me.”
“Together... Just the two of us, like last time?”
I nodded at her question.
“...Yeah, okay.”
Aizel was telling me a story.
As if I should remember.
As if she wanted me to remember.
“Again... again... again...”
Memories from the previous installment that I don’t remember.
“...Zetto said he liked the scent of the Orbison back then, too, and I thought that was really interesting...It made me realize that you hadn’t changed, that you were still Zetto.”
I listened quietly and filed away the memories as she recounted them.
It seems like a lot has happened.
Maybe I was a little closer to Aizel than I was in this episode and her behavior was different this time, probably because she didn’t feel the same way last time.
When she stopped crying, her voice conveyed a sense of loneliness.
It’s no wonder she walked a lonely path, not understood by anyone in the world.
I could only hope that by sharing her memories with me, her loneliness and emptiness would be alleviated.
“...It happened.”
Aizel’s lips close.
“You won’t tell me more?”
Aizel shook her head, as if there was still much left to tell.
“Well, there’s a lot I’d like to tell you, but it’s too much, and today’s not enough, and there’s plenty of time to come...I’ll make better memories with Zetto... It’s enough for now.”
“Good enough... I see.”
I responded with a smile.
No longer a regressor, Aizel had time to make memories, and there was tomorrow.
“Are you still going to attend the Academy?”
“Yes. I have work to do.”
“And what is it that Zetto needs to do...?”
“...I don’t know.”
Happy ending.
I vaguely hoped for that.
But as I listened to Heneryes talk about this and that, I thought more about it.
After all, just like in the game, graduating from the Academy isn’t the end of the story.
I wondered if I could reach a happy ending if I broke the ‘chains’.
I’m not sure yet.
After a brief silence, the door to the infirmary opens.
Squeak.
I see familiar faces.
Amon, Lucia, Crank, and even Orphele, who was quiet and didn’t talk much.
“...I guess I’m done here.”
Aizel made a point of leaving since she didn’t want to interrupt the others’ reunion.
Aizel didn’t seem impatient, that was a nice change.
Part of me wanted to make her smile more, as sad as she was, as lonely as she was.
I was chatting with Amon and the others, who had been looking at me wistfully ever since.
“...How is it that you can laugh as usual?”
“Haha, didn’t a miracle happen, I have to smile because it’s a good thing.”
“Mr. Zetto...! You’re still going to attend the academy, right? Without Mr. Zetto, our A class would be... Class A is....”
There was nothing there.
Suddenly, I lifted my head.
“Zetto...your arm...”
In my frenzy, I didn’t realize it.
Zetto had kept his promise, but he hadn’t come back whole.
As if to prove it, there were still bandages around his eyes, and the sleeve of his left arm was empty.
“Haha...I guess I couldn’t come back all the way.”
Zetto flashed me a nonchalant smile.
He’s trying to look like he’s fine since he didn’t want to worry me.
“...Well.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I knew a little bit about him now.
“...Hmph...”
But I couldn’t comprehend the pain he must have endured, the anguish, and so the tears fell.
“I’m sorry I scared you, Ms. Yuri.”
“...Not at all. You didn’t have to. Zetto shouldn’t be sorry. Just the fact that he survived...”
Just that I was given a second chance.
Just that I can hold your hand right now.
“That alone should be enough...”
“...”
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you... I’m sorry...”
It pained me to think that I would never be able to take back my last words to him.
He had always meant the world to me, and I couldn’t accept that I had ended it on the worst possible note.
“I didn’t mean to be cold...”
Zetto grabs my hand and brings it to his cheek.
“...You’re so warm.”
Everything melts away at the sound of his sweet voice. My blurred vision, my frozen mind, everything... melted away.
“I know where you’re coming from.”
“I...I got angry at Aizel.. She didn’t do anything wrong. I blamed her...”
I cried like a child who had done something wrong.
In his arms, I felt like a fool and told him everything.
“It must have been hard for you.”
Zetto stroked my hair and continued.
“But it wouldn’t have been any different if it had been Ms. Yuri instead of Ms. Aizel.”
Even through my sobs, Zetto’s voice was so clear that I could hear his sincerity.
“I would have saved Yuri, no questions asked, no hesitation.”
I wondered if Zetto would have made that choice if I had been in Aizel’s place.
I wasn’t sure.
“It’s just that this time it was Ms. Aizel.”
Zetto consoled me, as if he could see right through me.
“That’s what Ms. Yuri is to me.”
The tears that rolled down my cheeks were either tears of sadness or tears of joy, I couldn’t tell.
The tears flowed like rain through her memories, never stopping.
Zetto was still gentle and kind.
His embrace was cozy and comforting, and I didn’t want to escape.
“That’s what Zetto is to me, too.”
“...”
“So... Strong enough to protect you, strong enough that you don’t have to come to my rescue... Strong enough...”
She wanted to be strong enough to protect this moment, this future with him.
“I won’t let Zetto put me through this again...”
The momentary loss was so painful but her determination burned stronger.
Zetto, who had been stroking my hair, replied.
“...Then I guess I’ll just have to wait patiently.”
“Yes, Zetto, wait patiently.”
“Do you have to come to my rescue?”
The corner of Zetto’s mouth twitched upward.
“...Yes.”
Even with that answer... I was well aware that Zetto was far from the word ‘docile’.
So it was only a matter of being strong enough to catch him at any moment, even if he had to leave my arms.
I never wanted to lose that innocent smile etched into my focus again.