CH 64

64 – Commitment

[Physis' POV]

Thinking about earlier, I stroked my lips. 

'How many hours have I been locked in my room like this?'

Today, Adilun kissed me and said, 'It's a stamp...,' as if it was some kind of a seal.

Even though she knew it was not a dream, she could act like that. Thinking about it, I felt a little pathetic about myself.

The weight of Adilun's kindness towards me was gradually becoming heavier.

'How can I repay her kindness?'

'She said until she is confident... can I have confidence in myself?'

'How many times do I have to doubt myself and resolve those doubts before I can fully trust myself?'

The answer was still unknown.

We still had a long time left and we would get to know each other through many experiences.

In the process, I would have confidence in myself... and she would have confidence in herself.

There was no need for impatience. I would remain true to myself, and she would do the same. Together, we would support each other and proceed gradually, one step at a time.

After finishing my thoughts, I opened the window for a moment.

'What should I do? Should I step outside and feel the wind for a moment before going to bed?'

Recently, I had been having trouble sleeping at night. During the social gathering, it was because of Adilun's defenseless appearance, and today it was because of the shy kiss she had given me.

She would approach me more actively... and all I could do was not push her away.

I also wanted to approach her more actively. When and how I could do that?

'I will have to think about it.'

As I stepped out of the room, unlike the warm day, I felt a bit of a cold night breeze blowing.

In the end, it was a complicated thought. But I had to continue with these thoughts.

After staring outside for a while, I heard someone's voice.

“What are you doing here?”

It was the voice of the same person who had been making my head complicated all this time; Adilun. 

She stood next to me under the moonlight and stared straight ahead.

“It’s just that my head is complicated because of you.”

“Aahaha, I knew it would be like that."

When I glanced to the side, her smiling face was more beautiful than anyone else's.

Was it the magic of the nighttime? Or was it because it overlapped with what had happened during the day, it was so fascinating that my mind became hazy.

"I... don't really know."

"Yes, I thought so. Actually, I'm not sure either. So, how was it? My first kiss."

To tell the truth, it was the second kiss now... but I answered honestly.

"Honestly, I didn't hate it."

“Eh, is that all?"

Adilun looked disappointed.

"If I just said it was good, wouldn't it shake your determination that you've vowed to think about?"

"Well, that's true. Please think about it more. I'll keep shaking you as I did earlier."

"Like earlier?"

"I'll be more active than earlier. So that other girls won't dare to touch you."

“If you act so frighteningly, I might run away too.”

"Try running away. I'll tie you up."

At my playful words, she responded with a mischievous smile.

"Hahaha, this is really... I'm trapped tightly."

"There will be many things to come in the future. For both you and me."

"That's right."

"I don't know what our future will be like, but I want to be with you all the way."

"I feel that same."

"Let's do well together. There will be many difficulties, and there will be times when we will have distrust towards each other."

“Yes.”

“Still, I think we can do well. From our first meeting, things were the worst, weren't they? Since we've come this far from that kind of relationship, we can do even better.”

“I feel a little uneasy. The anxiety of whether I'm the right person for you... It overwhelms me every time you show me kindness.”

“… … I’d like to say there’s no need to worry about that, but right now even I can’t say that.”

“In the end, it seems like we need time. Both me and you.”

I looked at her, standing beside me, and spoke in a subdued voice. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, looked up at the sky, then turned her head towards me and said:

“On the day when the promised time is up, I have something I definitely want to say to you.”

“Me too…  I also have something I definitely want to say to you.”

“Then, let’s try our best until then. Got it?”

“Yes. Adilun.”

“Shall we go in now?”

“No. I want to stay like this a little longer.”

“… …Yes. Okay.”

We didn't say anything else. We were lost in our own thoughts, just gazing at the sky together.

But that was enough. A sense of satisfaction filled us both, and we both felt a weight lifted off our shoulders.

“If this is the case, I think I will sleep well tonight.”

“I don’t think I will be able to sleep.”

“Ahaha. Really? Because of me?”

“Yes.”

When she asked teasingly, I nodded without hesitation. As a result, a flush began to spread across her face.

“How am I supposed to sleep if you say that all at once? I won't be able to sleep tonight....”

“Are you feeling nervous too?”

“Yes.”

“… … Shall I sing you a lullaby?”

“That's something I should be doing for you, shouldn't it?”

However, she provocatively replied with a flushed face.

“Oh, dear. It's better to postpone that for later. I might just end up attacking you.”

“It's okay even if you do attack me.”

I almost lost my reasoning at those words, but… … I barely manage to hold back.  I couldn't give in to her provocation. It was not yet the time.

Even if she allowed it, I didn't think I should and could accept it myself.

"...I'll just pretend I didn't hear that."

“You know, Physis.”

“Yes.”

"From now on, every day, I'll provoke you like this. It's been 8 months...no, now it's 7 months. Every day for 7 months."

“Are you going to test me?”

"Yes. If you show any weakness, I'll attack you, so please endure it. I'll endure it too."

"....I'll try my best."

After that, she and I had a little conversation and then went back to our rooms right away.

'Darn it. Looks like I won't be able to sleep tonight either.'

* * *

[Adilun's POV]

Closing the door, I threw myself onto the bed... and recalled the things I said to Physis today.

Words that were meant to provoke him. Words that I threw at him, words I'd never said before.

Thinking about those words made me feel embarrassed, but I couldn't afford to be ashamed right now.

There will be countless other women who would target him, and I could lose him to any one of them in a moment's inattention.

Therefore… …to prevent that from happening, I would continue to provoke him. I would make him look at me more and more, even if it was just once.

During this time, I would learn more about him and strengthen my heart. We must not suspect each other, even under external pressure.

That way, even if we faced difficulties after we were married, we could trust and rely on each other.

Seven months... A long or short time, depending on how one looked at it. I wondered how much trust I could build with him.

I was curious and excited.

My heart was racing and I was covered in anticipation for the future.

He must be thinking of me right now too, right? I couldn't be happier knowing that he couldn't sleep because of me.

In the future, I hope that I would have the largest share in his mind more than anyone else. And when we finally got married, I hoped that we would have an unshakable trust in each other.

I only wished for that.

“Hehe.”

As I vaguely imagined the scene, I couldn't help but laugh out loud with joy.

I hoped that day would come soon.

* * *

[Physis' POV]

In the end, I couldn't sleep. It was not like I was someone who got tired from only missing a day of sleep, but Adilun's continued provocative behavior over the past few days was enough to drive me crazy.

All night I could only think of her. On the contrary, the more she behaved like that, the less sure I became.

She was so much kindness to me... Could I really repay her properly?

'No.'

I shook my head.

I shouldn't be thinking like this. If she was kind to me, then I should also show her the appropriate kindness.

As we exchanged kindness with each other, the trust would eventually form, and we would have to overcome countless hardships to come based on that trust.

According to the flow of the story I saw… … Sooner or later, a change would occur in the North. A legion of numerous demon beasts invading the ice wall of Rodenov.

Having grown up eating human malice, they would grow stronger as the world would become more chaotic. Given the already chaotic situation of the empire, they would definitely invade the north.

'I will have to prepare.'

That was not all. The situation with Crocus Duke and the ominous east, and the situation with Tallet Ram, a barbarian country beyond Ortear, was also imminent. If Tallet Ram invades Ortair, the aftermath of a fierce war could also trigger an epidemic.

None of the hardships that awaited us in the future could be taken lightly.

So I hoped. I hoped that she and I could firmly armor ourselves with trust in each other until the end of our lives and overcome the hardships to reach a happy ending.

To do so, I needed to become stronger myself. To be able to protect her. To be able to protect our happiness.

As dawn broke and the dawn slowly began to shine, I made that promise while looking at it.

--- End OF The Chapter ---