CH 123

Mayer’s face went rigid from shock. Then, grimacing, he twitched his lips as if wanting to somehow refute my words. It took him a long time before he timidly asked, “Are you… very mad?”

“Excuse me?” I blinked, confused. Did I look angry? I tentatively touched my face at his sudden question. My lips were slightly raised, my eyes were shaped as usual, and it wasn’t like I had raised my voice… There was no particular reason to make me look angry. Tilting my head, I muttered, “But I’m not mad?”

However, Mayer already seemed convinced that I was.

“Please, do not be too offended. I admit that, initially, I approached you under the assumption that you had the knowledge I needed. I believed that the information you had regarding dungeons would dramatically speed up raids,” he explained.

“Of course, I understand,” I nodded. Strategic information was beyond important; it was like gold. I could understand his decision. Were I in his shoes, I would have gone frantic in recruiting myself.

What I couldn’t grasp was why Mayer mistakenly thought I was angry.

My empathetic reaction didn’t seem to satisfy Mayer as his tone became even more pleading. “But now, more than information, I need your abilities as a support mage. I truly think of you as an outstanding, irreplaceable support mage. Our Dark Knights—no, I need you.”

From where he sat, his earnest gaze nearly burned a hole in my face. He had my arm in a grip so strong, I feared that if he applied just a little more force, it would break. I had no clue why he was so desperately affirming my value.

Prying him off me in bewilderment, I tried to calm him down. “I get it, alright? You can stop now.”

“But…” Mayer’s lips twisted and some strands of dark hair fell over his golden eyes. The man’s strangely misaligned gaze infected me with his anxiety. As if regretting his hasty words, he mumbled, “I… do not wish to be hated by you.”

He spoke as if he was certain I held negative feelings toward him. And yet, I had no idea why he thought I hated him, or why he believed I was angry. “Why exactly do you think I’m mad?” I asked.

Unlike his usual self, Mayer dithered, hesitating for a long moment before answering. “You keep your source of information a secret from me, but you must have revealed it to Fabian. Because you were abandoned by him, you refrain from telling me…”

I interrupted him. “That isn’t true. I never told Fabian either.”

Immediately, Mayer’s face softened.

At that moment, an unbelievable thought crossed my mind. “Alright. I’m going to be guessing now, so please only answer if I’m right or wrong.”

“I understand.”

“When I said ‘I can’t say because it’s between us’, you took that as ‘I won’t tell you, but there’s someone I did tell’ or something along those lines. Right or wrong?”

“…Right.”

“The reason I’m not telling you, Captain, is because I’m mad at you. Yet you guessed that my anger was because you focused on the information I have instead of my abilities as a support mage. Right or wrong?”

“…Right.”

“Oh, brother.” I pressed a hand to my forehead, not sure if the heat was from the alcohol or from anger. With a heavy sigh, I contemplated whether to be scathing or consoling. I would have liked to use the former, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Seeing Mayer acting timid with his shoulders drooping was too much. Despite being as big as a grizzly bear, I had to admit he did look pitiful.

I forced on a gentle smile, mustering the kindness in me, and comforted him. “Mm… I worded it wrongly before. It’s not that I can’t say because it’s between us. It’s the kind of secret that can’t be shared even with our relationship… Even you have something to hide from me, don’t you, Captain?”

“But I have confided all my secrets to you…”

I switched off the kind tone and retorted flatly, “You don’t call that confiding—you call it being found out.”

The things that could be called Mayer’s secrets, such as his family issues, dark element mana, his hair color affecting by his mana, his past in the first playthrough, and so on… I had come to know them all by coincidence, by forced circumstances, no? Yet he spoke as if he had voluntarily revealed them to me.

Taking advantage of the moment to act like a victim… I really couldn’t let my guard down against this man.

“Anyway… I’m not mad. And it’s not that I’m refusing to tell because I’m disappointed with you somehow, Captain. I understand everything, alright?”