CH 40

Chapter 40: A Promise

My mother is a very bright person. 

She raised my older brother, older sister, and me, along with doing household chores. Yet she’d still say “I can’t stay indoors all day. I want to eat delicious Yakiniku with the money I earn!” So she worked part time moderately, went to the gym two days a week as a hobby with her friend, and ate yakiniku as she declared. She is a very mobile woman- – – She has already reached the realm of super mother.

When I took over as Sara’s tutor, I couldn’t afford to not explain where I was going every week. I told her that we were studying together and she was living alone. After hearing her family is away, She even told me to take care of Sara. I’m sure she’s always been interested in her. She is that kind of person. 

However the timing was really bad! Could it wait at least until I organize my feelings more? I wasn’t aware of it at all until now, this is a kick when I was already down.

However, running around my mind has calmed me somewhat. I’m too mentally tired. I have stopped thinking deeply.

Just think about what to do now, first wash my face, then make the porridge.

I look terrible right now. It’s obvious I was crying a lot if you see my face. My nose is bright red and my eyes are swollen. I can’t even go home If I don’t fix myself.

I looked up online how to clear it up easily. Hot to cold water, alternating, washing my face with a hand towel several times. I was relieved that you couldn’t immediately tell that I was just crying. I believed in the internet and put it into practice.

I relaxed on the sofa with a steamed towel over my face. What the hell am I doing? I’m really glad Sara didn’t wake up while I was tumbling all around.

“Um, this should be good.”

I checked the time, it was already about 8:30pm. I made a quick simple egg porridge. It was seasoned with white dashi, soy sauce, and mirin. It contains eggs and green onions in a thin rice porridge. The steaming porridge looked delicious, and because I’ve been crying so much I want to eat it.

I brought in a clay pot as a dinner for one. As expected Sara was still asleep.

I was a little scared to see her face after going through that, but perhaps my mental prepping has helped. I felt more calm than when I was unaware. I felt relieved approaching the bedside, but I sighed a little when I got to her bedside. Her green eyes opened slightly and looked at me.

“. . . Shiori-san?”

A sweet pang shot through my heart. It was a fleeting dream to think I could be calm. All she did was say my name.

I put the porridge on the side table and checked her complexion from a not too close position. She seemed better than before. The medicine must have worked.

“Sara, how are you feeling? Do you feel a little better?”

“Yeah, it feels easier to move. Thanks to Shiori-san.”

“I didn’t do much. I made porridge though, can you eat it?”

“Eat! I’m hungry!”

I slowly passed the tray and made sure it would not spill. Sara’s expression lit up as she took a bite out of the porridge. Saying “Delicious.”

Speaking of which, since we’ve started with Shogayaki, we’ve cooked a number of dishes together. However this is the first time Sara has eaten something I made alone.

My heart is feeling stuffy. The person I like is eating what I made while saying “Delicious.” 

“Make sure it isn’t too hot before you eat it.”

“Yeah. Oh, Shiori-san, the time. . .”

“It’s okay. I’ve already contacted my house.”

Or rather my home contacted me. . .Oh yeah, I was given a mission.

“Oh I see, that’s good. I’m sorry for taking up your time. Be careful on your way home.”

“Yeah, thank you. . . Well my mom told me to ask you if you’d like to come over during summer vacation?”

“Eh? To Shiori-san’s house?”

“That’s right.”

I wish it was something else, unfortunately that’s the only place I have to take you.

“However, it will be boring if you come. There isn’t anything to do there.”

“No way. I want to go to Shiori-san’s house.”

“Oh. Well, then. I’ll have to clean up my room.”

“Eh-, is there something you have to hide?”

“Kind of, I think it’s just something I usually do.”

It’s mainly hiding the Yuri books lined up on the bookshelves. Even though I only started reading in spring, it already occupies my entire bookshelf. Where do I hide those books? Is it safe to put it in a cardboard box and shove it into the closet?

I couldn’t tell her what I was hiding.

“I want to see Shiori-san’s childhood photos.”

“Okay.”

“Were you cute? What kind of child were you?”

“Well, when I was a kid I was always energetically following my older brother and sister.”

I was a tomboy as a kid. I loved playing outside. I can’t imagine how much I’m indoors now. There must be a photo of me holding a big water gun, or me sinking my teeth into a corncob bigger than my face.

“Eh, Shiori-san, is the youngest sibling?”

“Yeah, my older brother is seven years older, and my sister is four years older. Both of them aren’t living at home, so now I’m the only one there.”

“Wahh, no way! I wish I had an older brother or sister.”

She gave shiny eyes filled with envy. I actually never heard about Sara’s family structure.

If it was up until yesterday, I would have said “I’m like your older sister now, right?” But that doesn’t feel very good now. I don’t feel like talking about it.

“There must be a picture of the three of us together, I’ll look for it.”

“Thank you! I’m looking forward to seeing it! I have to get rid of this cold as soon as possible. I need to go see it soon!”

She handed over the empty clay bowl. Then dove into the futon again with an excited face, her medicine seemed to have worked. She looks much better than when I arrived. 

I measured her fever with a thermometer. She has dropped considerably to 37.4 degrees. This should be okay.

“This summer vacation will be full of fun. I get to go out and play with my classmates, and get to go to Shiori-san’s house. Oh let’s go together to a firework show.”

“Firework show? You aren’t going with your classmates?”

“Yeah. They are going to summer classes, or said they are going with their boyfriends. So when I heard that I thought I wanted to go with Shiori-san. Um, is that not good?”

This is unfair.

It’s this weakness I feel that I fell in love with. I was invited by my favorite person. She is looking at me with those hopeful eyes.

I can’t. 

It’s possible to invite me like this. I couldn’t win, even though there was sadness from being invited as a friend. Although going alone with Sara was too hard to ignore.

“Okay, let’s go. By the way, should we talk about wearing Yukata before going to the festival?”

“Waah, Yukata! I’ve never worn one!”

I was too nervous to talk more. After saying goodnight to Sara, I left the room.

I remembered her earlier. Her laugh, her smile, it would be too difficult to keep my distance. Her straightforward nature is painful, but at the same time it makes me happy. Above all, I feel like I can endure it with the help of Sara’s smile.

I somewhat now miss the Yuri works I loved from my previous life. I feel like I must sympathize with my ancestors who have suffered from unrequited love.

“Mai-Hama”’s president, “Nagatsuki’s Miko”’s Maiden, “My Kimi”’s vice president.  The big three unrequited love characters. It’s a pity those works don’t exist in this world.

“Wait, but aren’t two of the three Yandere. . ?”

I silently nodded as I washed the clay pot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~