CH 80

Chapter 80: (Extra) Sara’s POV Part 8

“Eh? You joined the art club?”

“Yeah. I was actually at the art supply store just today, and was on my way to the movie theater.”

“Still love movies, eh?”

It’s been a while since they last talked to each other, so the four of us walked in front of them while Natsuki-chan and Shimamoto-san caught up behind us. 

Shimamoto Aoi-san. I don’t know anything about her except that she is a junior in Shiori-san’s club. I do remember her well though. 

She approached Shiori-san and I at the mall. Shiori-san instantly was more alert than I have ever seen her before. She immediately changed her stance to protect me from this girl, and when we were finally done with her, I felt like she was shaking as she quickly pulled me by my hand away from her.

Why was she so scared? And why did she feel like she needed to protect me? I kinda regret not asking her anything after, and that I acted like nothing had happened.

Because both then and today. This feeling seems familiar.

Jealousy. Hostility. Sizing me up.

She spoke to Shiori-san with the face of a pretty junior, and sent hostility my way while still complimenting me on my looks.

Maybe she is just using me as a springboard to start talking to Shiori-san. There are many people like that in junior high school.

I wonder if Shimamoto-san likes Shiori-san. At the time I felt like it was some sort of rivalry from me being around a senpai she wanted to get along with, but now I’m starting to sense it’s more of romantic feelings towards Shiori-san.

. . . You really are much more popular than I know.

I felt resentful for it, like I’m taking it out on Shiori-san for being popular despite her having done nothing wrong. Maybe I can’t just leisurely take my time not knowing if I like her or not. If I don’t hurry up, someone else will snatch her away from me before I could even find my conclusion.

“Ahaha” I heard a happy laugh from behind. At the very least, I should be wary of her just as the voice of my rival.

Though I’m sure that there won’t be any more opportunities for me to get involved with her in the future.

Shimamoto-san and I were waiting on the train station platform side by side. The other four were going the opposite direction, so it was just us remaining. I should have seen this coming. But it’d be too obvious if I leave now, and it would be too hard to do that.

“Hey, What’s your name? Ah, We are in the same year, so would it be okay to talk casually?”

Unlike me, Shimamoto-san asked seemingly unafraid. I realize now that I had not even told her my name.

“Sara Fujioka.”

“Heh-, Could I call you Sara-chan then?”

It was more like she was seeking confirmation rather than actually asking a question. It’s hard to say no. When I said yes, She smiled with a satisfied face.

“Did you remember we met before?”

“. . .I remembered.”

“Awesome! I actually saw you on the train a few times in the morning. You and Sugimura-senpai seem to get along well with each other.”

“Ah, is that so?”

I didn’t realize I was being watched. There are a lot of girls in school uniforms on the train, so she must have been somewhere hidden amongst them.

Ah, maybe now that we’ve met each other this way, she will begin  talking to me starting in the second semester? I don’t want that. . .I don’t want someone else coming and distributing my time in the morning.

“Hey, how did you become good friends with Sugimura-senpai?”

“Eh, what do you mean. . ?”

“Sugimura-senpai isn’t easy to get close to. She keeps a distance from the juniors in our club. I want to get along better with her, but it isn’t easy- – -.”

While I was terribly paying attention, I tightened the muscles around my face to hide any feelings. Sorry. I feel bad for Shimamoto-san, but I’m a little happy.

Shimamoto-san’s image of Shiori-san is actually cooler than mine. Her smile is just a smirk for her. She is calm and friendly, but has an intellectual and unapproachable air around her. . .Are we talking about the same person?

“Sara-chan seems to be good friends with Sugimura-senpai. Would you be willing to cooperate with me?”

“Eh, cooperate. . .?”

I looked up after hearing her words, and met expectant eyes.

“Yeah, I want you to help Sugimura-senpai and I become friends. Please!”

It’s a seemingly innocent request yet it made me feel really uncomfortable.

It’s not just because I don’t want Shiori-san to be taken away from me.

Does she know how insensitive that request is? Does she know what she is saying.

(Hey, Fujioka-san, please. Won’t you?)

A bad memory flashed into my head. A terrible memory from junior high school.

We hardly talked before. But with a sweet voice a female classmate asked for a favor, and the memory of me doing it. I did it for the sake of self-preservation and this guilty memory.

I had to break this boy’s heart in a roundabout way but there was no way she’d be liked if that happened.

As a result, she got her heart broken too, and I got even more flack because I got involved.

I should have said no, but I was afraid. I was afraid that by saying no, she’d misunderstand and think I also liked him, and that her anger would then be focused on me. I was the one who cut off a classmate from me and had his feelings hurt out of self-preservation.

Did she want me to do the same to Shiori-san?- – – I won’t ever do that.

“Sorry, I won’t help you.”

After I clearly refused, Shimamoto-san looked truly confused, and said “Why?”.

There was no anger towards me, nor disdain. Just pure surprise.

“There are multiple reasons, but the number one is that I don’t know you. Shiori-san is an important friend, I can’t help somebody that I don’t know.”

“Huh. . .Yeah, that makes sense.”

Oh I managed to pull it off without her getting angry. If she was convinced already she probably didn’t think too heavily about it.

I was relieved for a moment after seeing Shimamoto-san reflect on what just happened, unfortunately it didn’t end so easily.

“Well then, we’ll just have to get along, then you can get to know me!”

In one swipe, that remorseful feeling she had a moment ago went away to a smile.

I thought she wasn’t as bad as I thought. She just doesn’t seem like the type of person I could get along with.

She’s probably the type of person who has had a smooth life up until now. It seems like she believes there is no way her dream wouldn’t come true.

“Hey, don’t you know you’re saying something really rude to me?”

“Eh?”

“I mean, for the sake of you getting along with Shiori-san, you need to get along with me, so you’re not interested in me as a person, but still you’re saying let’s get along, right?”

“Eh, I didn’t say that!?”

But in the end, that’s what it means.

If Shiori-san wasn’t involved, she wouldn’t try to get along with me, right? She wanted to use me as a stepping stone.

There’s no need for me to get along with this person, or get to know them better, right? Furthermore, you wouldn’t want someone who just wants to get closer to your dearest friend.

When I told her these things, Shimamoto-san was beyond surprised and froze, she looked at me with a blank stare. Seeing her like this, I understood she really didn’t have any ill intentions, but that is irrelevant. 

“Umm, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, but I could see how it’d look like that.”

Shimamoto-san finally grasped the meaning of her words. She dejectedly apologized.

“I may have also said too much. I’m sorry.”

“No, I was in the wrong. I’ll give up on trying to cooperate with you.”

“Okay.”

It was a little awkward, but I’m glad she gave up peacefully. So as it goes, she is still Natsuki-chan’s friend, and Shiori-san’s junior, I don’t want to cause any problems with her.

“Also these kinds of things get complicated when you try to get someone else involved. If you want to get along well with Shiori-san, I think you should just talk to her directly.”

“I see. Okay! Thank you, I’ll do my best!”

“. . .Yeah.”

I didn’t want to say good luck.

Because this girl might like Shiori-san. If they actually start getting along well, there is a possibility she will make progress with Shiori-san, and from there start dating.

What? Shiori-san getting a lover??

There’s that. But something else.

I don’t want Shiori-san to have a lover “other than me”. I don’t want to give her to anyone else.

Just imagining Shiori-san giving her heart and those soft lips to somebody else makes me want to cry.

I finally understand. As I thought. I like Shiori-san.

Why did it take me so long to understand? It’s of course love.

I’m happy when I’m with her, I am happy when she says my name. The mere thought that those feelings could even be directed at someone else fills my heart with jealousy and possessiveness.

Love is really troubling. I wonder if we become girlfriends, will this anxious rumbling go away? 

Okay, this is no time to be idle. 

Now that I know this, I’ll confess my feelings to her as soon as possible. Shiori-san likes me too, so I’m sure she will be happy. . . right?

Shiori-san, you do like me, right?

Is that why she always takes good care of me, or perhaps is she just being nice. Maybe that passionate look I saw in her eyes when she pushed me down was just my desire to see it in her.

I thought she liked me on her own, but she didn’t confess that to me. What should I do? A second ago I was filled with confidence, but it’s now crumbling like a sand castle.

What if I made a mistake. . ?

My heart was racing as that doubt suddenly swirled around my mind. It echoed loudly in there, and a ringing sound loudly occupied my hearing. It felt cold all of a sudden and my fingertips trembled.

Suddenly I felt lost, as if my foothold just vanished. I felt completely helpless.