CH 87

Chapter 87: (Extra) Sara’s POV Part 15

It was the day before Shiori-san came over. I was intently reading Shoujo manga. I bought some e-books of popular works, and borrowed some from Akiho-chan the other day. I’ve been reading them all day long. Sadly, I came to the conclusion that “These manga confessions aren’t very useful”.

Maybe it’s because the quality of the works are bad, maybe because they were love stories between a man and a woman, but it was at least not a good reference point for a possible confession I would make to Shiori-san.

In the first place, the relationships and confession setups are different from my life, so it’s only natural this would happen. It felt like wasted effort after I spent an entire day reading them. Why couldn’t I have realized this earlier?

“Manga is truly fantasy.”

There are lines that would make you laugh in real life, but they seem romantic or cool in a book. Akiho-chan, who loves shoujo manga, once said she wanted to be Kabedon or to be hugged from behind, but honestly that’d be pretty scary if you’re not dating the person.

Who do you think you are to Kabedon, Chin lift saying “Be my girl (Shining smile.)”!? Kissing someone sleeping. . .I understand the feeling, but that is illegal! I understand wanting to touch their lips too! 

Ahh, but not now. My problem is how to confess to Shiori-san. What kind of words and actions can I take to get her heart to swoon? I wish I had thought up at least one idea.

For a moment I imagined myself doing Kabedon to her, chin lift “Be my girl (Shining smile)” But then I cringed at how lame it’d be. I shot it out of my head.

Yeah, no way. . . that definitely isn’t going to happen.

“Confessing is hard~!”

What should I do? I haven’t planned a scheme at all. At this rate I wonder if I’d ever be able to skillfully convey my feelings?

The eve before my planned confession. Desperate due to my lack of love skills, I couldn’t come up with any lovely situations to put her in, eventually it became late into the night.

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The next day, Shiori-san came over totally oblivious of my plans to confess. As usual, with a dazzling smile, she said “It’s pretty hot today isn’t it?” and gave me ice cream as a welcoming gift.

Ah, why is she so nice? Just getting her smile towards me makes me want to confess. My chest was lightly squeezed as I was about to jump the gun, but it’s still too early. At least let’s sit down. I asked her to come inside, I brewed some tea, and we started studying as usual.

. . . Whoops.

I started to just study as usual, and I concentrated too much into it. That isn’t the point of her visit. I should have thought to start the conversation earlier, express my feelings properly, and become lovers. I should put my studies aside for today, and spend time with her like a lover. My plans have gone awry.

At once I need to stop the flow of this. How could I create the flow to a confession? Shiori-san is Shiori-san and is true to form by studying seriously, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.

When i stopped and wondered what to do, she said to me“Since you’re so amazing. There isn’t much I can teach you these days.”

Nice timing! This is my chance!

“It’s all thanks to Shiori-san’s easy to understand teaching method. I’m just able to keep up. If I was by myself I would have already fallen behind.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, but I thought I could help you more.”

“Ahaha, it’s only because my teacher was amazing”

“I’m honored. Although I’m lonely there aren’t many questions, so feel free to ask me if you have any.”

I have a question for you! Do you like me!?

. . .No no, that’d just be copying Yoko-san. Rejected.

“Is it true you were confessed to by a female junior?”

Shiori-san’s smile hardened as the corner of her mouth naturally tightly turned up. Her large eyes swam around as she was deeply distrubed.

Her smile usually doesn’t show much emotion behind it, but she seems to be the type that is vulnerable to surprise attacks, and when she is hit, her emotions are obvious. She is very cute in that way.

“That’s true. . .”

She looked like she had a headache as she said it.

Come to think of it, I never talked about my meeting with Shimamoto-san and refusing to cooperate with her. I think it would be good to tell her, but I feel like it’d just make it worse seeing how stressed she already is about her, so I wonder if I should keep it to myself for a bit longer?

Listening to more details, Shimamoto-san seems to be quite the assertive and resilient type. It wasn’t that simple, as it seems that she wasn’t the type to back down after being rejected.

“I really liked characters that kept their heads up even if they were given the cold shoulder in books and anime, but I realized that they are actually very annoying and scary in real life.”

Shiori-san’s exhausted words reminded me of those shoujo mangas I had thoroughly read. Characters with strong mentailities that won’t give up even if they get rejected or their target has a lover. . . Even though that’s a cliche, in real life that’s a scary thing. Perhaps without the manga cleaning up and adding sparkles it’s even more creepy and disturbing.

“Also I’d be afraid of a Kabedon or a forcible tilting chin up like you’d often see in a shoujo manga. Or kissing a sleeping person, I wish they could be caught for sexual assault.”

I am in no position to be saying anything about this. But it was a failed attempt, so I’m safe. Ah, but I did feel them, so I might be out after all.

Shiori-san smiled and agreed with what I was saying, but after adding it was inexcusable.

“If I already like them alot, then it may be powerful to have a Kabedon done on me.”

Eh, is Shiori-san having a Kabedon done on her shoo-in?!

I wonder if she would be thrilled if I did it. Yesterday’s delusion of “Be my girl (shining smile)” is now way more realistic. . . No, I still can’t do that.

Incidentally, when I asked her what she would do if Shimamoto-san did that to her, she immediately replied that she would push her away and run away. So I guess I don’t have to be too worried about her being my romantic rival.

Rather than that, the topic should be about my confession. Since this has become a hot topic, now this is the chance, but I hopelessly faltered. I shouldn’t be pretending to be a good friend and telling her she can vent to me!

“Thank you. My junior who I have lunch with told me that if I could just find a lover then I could reject her, but that isn’t so easy. . .”

Pick me! Let me be your lover!

I can’t just say that! A confession in the form of just trying to be a candidate is lame. . .!

“Sara, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

“Ah, I see. Okay.”

. . .W-What? I’m so glad you asked me before I ran for office.

I’m so happy I immediately said okay, but that’s not what I expected. . . I mean, she probably meant it as a joke.

But this was my chance.

I can make a proper confession here and say I want to be her girlfriend.

Okay, I’ll say it! I turned to her with spirited determination. But – – -at the same time my enthusiasm faded with a few words.

“That’s not what I meant.” was written on Shiori-san’s pale face. If it was a face that made her feel a little shy or hopeful I think I could have continued with the momentum.

But it’s hard for me to say it with such a frightened face. Yoko said this much, but I wonder if she really likes me. It was too late after seeing her like this, my doubts arose, and it seemed impossible to confess anymore. So I made a way out. For the sake of us both.

“You mean as a fake girlfriend? Leave it to me! If it’s for Shiori-san I’ll help you in a pinch!”

I tried my best to smile, and when I said it, Shiori-san’s tense expression changed to one of “Oh, is that so?”. It was clearly a relieved face. Oh no. That hurts.

“Thank you. But It’s okay. I’ll do my best.”

Well, she said so.

Today I was determined to confess my feelings, but now I feel as if my heart has been snapped. The flow of our conversation has completely broken apart.

Shiori-san says she doesn’t want Shimamoto-san to hate me and make me do stuff I don’t want to. I am used to girls hating me though. I don’t want to be hated, but if it means I could be in a relationship with Shiori-san, then I’d be fine.

“A-Ah, I was rejected.”

“Fufu, It’s regrettable I couldn’t have a cute girlfriend-.”

If you’re going to say it’s regrettable, then just actually go out with me! Don’t make that bad taste joke.

I haven’t even confessed nor been rejected yet, but my heart hurts. If I don’t force myself to smile and make light jokes, I’m afraid I’d cry a broken self.

I was so pumped up until this morning, but how did it come to this?

“Well we got side tracked, so I think it’s time to get back to studying.”

I pretended to simply be looking down at my reference book after saying that. With this my face is hidden.

It can’t be helped, today is not the time. There will be so many opportunities in the future. So don’t let this get you down.

I desperately tried to remind myself of that to comfort myself, but in my depressed mood, those words are falling flat. On the contrary, that depressing feeling was getting heavier and heavier. I worked hard for the rest of our time to put a smile on my face.

I’m not good at acting, so it’s a miracle she didn’t notice. However, it was the first time that I wished Shiori-san would go home early.

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“Thank you for today. Please be safe on your walk home.”

The gloomy time has finally passed, and by the time I saw her off at my door, I had calmed down a bit.

It’s not good. I would like Shimamoto-san to share even a teaspoon of her strength.

. . . I wonder if I can even win over her as such the weak-willed person I am. I’m sure I’ll get another chance to confess my feelings, but by then Shiori-san may have Shimamoto-san or someone else in her heart.

“Ah. . . Shiori-san!”

I stopped her, and as she turned back to me, reflexively my hand reached out to touch the metal door behind her, not letting her leave yet.

Ah, before I realized it, this was a Kabedon. I couldn’t help but smile a little. I never thought I would actually do this.

Shiori-san, who had stiffened up from surprise, slowly faced me. Even though I wasn’t touching her, I could feel her heating up, and hear her heart racing.

“Hehehe, Kabedon.”

For the time being, I tried to make a joke of it, but she glanced at me for a moment, and then averted her eyes. 

If I’m not mistaken, that face- – –

“And, chin raise.”

I wanted to properly see her face, so I forced her to look at me while maintaining that joke, and it was just as I thought.

Her face was so cute. It was bright red, panicked, embarrassed, and unable to hide her emotions because it was a surprise attack.

(“If I already like them alot, then it may be powerful to have a Kabedon done on me.”)

Hey, so as I thought, you do like me? With watery eyes and dyed red down to your neck, how could you not think of me like that?

Ah geez, I want to kiss her as we are! I now know a little about what it’s like to be the pompous man in a Shoujo manga. If the girl I like has such a cute face, of course I’d want to kiss her. I’m holding back so much right now!

“Ahahaha, Shiroi-san is bright red!”

“I-I became r-red, t-that. . .”

“Hey hey, is your heart racing? Are you shook?”

“. . . . .Yeah. So, please give me a break.”

Ahhhhh, so cute!!!

Hey, right now she just admitted she had a crush on me right? Because she was thrilled, right?

I’m happy. So Happy happy! I’m so happy that it completely changed my lousy mood to the happiest I have ever been.

I could confess my feelings now. Right now is the best chance! But I want to look at this cute Shiori-san a little longer.

“Shy Shiori-san is so cute. I want to enjoy it a little more.”

“. . .I-I’m not cute.”

She should be more aware of her cuteness. I admit that she has a sexy appearance, but her facial expression and gestures are extremely adorable. Right now, she’s enduring the embarrassment from a chin raise so much she seems to be writhing, it makes me feel a little mean.

I may have gotten too carried away with my happiness. Her face was still red, but Shiori-san raised her eyebrows and said in a slightly angry tone.

“. . .Hey, Sara. Did you forget what I told you”

“What?”

“You are attractive, and liked by both men and women. So be careful.”

“Ahh~. . .”

Yeah, she did say that.

At this stage, hearing that from Shiori-san tickles my feelings, but she did say that before.

“If you do something like this, you might be mistaken as trying to instigate something, and open to a counterattack. It’s dangerous isn’t it. . .? Especially when it’s in a room with just the two of you.”

It isn’t a misunderstanding, I’m trying to instigate something.

No, I don’t mean to instigate something, but I’m doing this because I thought it would be fine if something happened with Shiori-san, I would never do this with anybody else. In the first place, I have no intentions of letting anyone other than Shiori-san into my house.

“Because, it’s Shiori-san it’s fine?”

“Ara, if you are going to push me this far, I might think about stealing your lips, do you understand?”

“Eeeh–?”

You won’t say that again. . .I wonder if you’ll never say it again. If you were somebody that would put your money where your mouth is, I wouldn’t be having this much trouble confessing.

In general, Shiori-san has been making these kinds for a long time. Even when we had only known each other for half a month, she would tease me by saying “Do you want to be seduced?” or even today with “Do you want to be my girlfriend”. 

Of course none of those jokes came true, and it was only me that was hit hard by them.

“Geeze. What did you expect would happen after provoking me so much?”

Shiori-san said that she wasn’t a shy and cute girl like she is, but right now she has the face of a charming adult woman, and my reaction to it was immediate. She wrapped her arms around me to the back of my neck.

This unexpected counterattack and the sudden warmth made me hot from head to toes. Of course my face is hot and my ears are burning.

Seeing me in turmoil, she said with a satisfied expression “Shy Sara is cute too.” S-sooo cruel.

“. . .I’m not shy.”

“Really? Then it’d be okay if we do this a little longer?”

“Eh, wait Shiori-san. . .Ah!”

What? A little longer? I didn’t even have time to process it.

I was pulled closer to her by the arms wrapped around my neck. Unable to keep up with this momentum, my legs began to wobble.

By the time I could realize what was happening, Shiori-san was already fully my view, there was no way I could avoid it. My left hand pushing onto the door was useless at that moment.

We only touched our lips for a moment. Still it was enough time for me to bask in the softness and warmth of them.

My left hand on the door, and my right hand wrapped around her to support her as she became unbalanced. All I could think about was what just happened.