CH 88

Chapter 88: (Extra) Sara’s POV Part 16

I’ve been conscious of Shiori-san’s lips since the beginning of summer vacation.

I wanted to touch those lustrous things. When I secretly poked them, they were way more comfy than I thought. I wondered how it would feel and what kind of face Shiori-san would make. Before I knew it, I could only come to think about those lips.

And now, even if it was by accident, I kissed her.

It was amazing, even if only for a moment, it felt like pudding. Although I can’t really compare it to something like pudding or marshmallow. The sensation on my lips as they touched hers was completely different from poking them with my fingers.

If I could, I would kiss her again right away, and explore the feeling more thoroughly.

However, unfortunately that wasn’t possible.

She was dumbfounded in my arms, with shaking arms she gently pushed me away. Staggering back and leaning with a pale face against the door. Perhaps she was sorting out what just happened. Her eyes went wide, and her hand covered her mouth. She stopped moving.

“Um. . .Shiori-san?”

That reaction hurt me quite a bit.

Her shoulders jumped after hearing my call. She slowly raised her head. I was relieved that our eyes finally met, but in the next moment, her face distorted, and large tears began to spill from her eyes.

“Eh, w-wait!?”

Did she hate it so much? 

She fell to her knees in front of me, half-guilt, half-sad crying and flustered.

Both hands covering her face as she sobs, it made me realize that we had done something irreversible.

“Shiori-san. . .”

I squatted down in front of her to properly apologize. Her moist eyes met mine.

“. . .I’m sorry, sara.”

After apologizing to me, tears spilled out again.

“I’m sorry. . . Your first kiss. . . I’m sorry.”

Ah, that’s right. She is that kind of person.

This was your first kiss too, but you felt sorry for me, or that I may be shocked, so that is what comes to your mind first? Yeah, I see.

You idiot. Far from being hurt, I am happy.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t cry.”

“But I screwed up, it’s all because I was messing around. . .”

“No, I was the one that started it.”

She shook her head, and said she was the one to blame, how can I convince her?

Tears were still spilling from the corner of her eyes, wetting her cheeks. Although she looked a little better than before. 

I gently wiped them away with my thumb as she muttered “Ku. . .”, she was as fragile as a newborn puppy, and then her tears started again.

Aahh, she was just starting to calm down!

“Sorry. . .I . . . I’m weird for crying.”

“No, you aren’t weird. However there is no need to cry.”

Shiori-san apologized and I shrugged again.

How do I get her to stop crying? In those shoujo manga I read yesterday, there was a scene where a girl was crying, then the guy kissed her to make her stop. But as usual, I can’t imitate that. The most I could do was wipe away her tears.

After a few minutes of comforting her by wiping her tears and brushing her head, she finally calmed down. She shyly smiled and said “I’m alright now.”

“Sara, that was an accident. You can strike it off the records. So it doesn’t count, alright?”

“. . .Ah.”

“So therefore. . . Don’t worry about it, just forget about it.”

“I refuse to!”

Her shoulder jumped a lot after I shouted that. I surprised even myself, but it was the truth.

I can’t just forget the kiss from earlier, and I don’t want her to forget it either.

I hesitated a lot, but now I resolved myself. I made up my mind, and took her hand and tightly squeezed it.

“I. . .”

My voice became hoarse.

I gulped down my saliva and tried again.

“It’s because I like Shiori-san. . .I’m happy my first kiss was with you!”

I said it!

I finally said it. I like you properly.

Now that I finished it, my heart was racing so fast that it was about to burst, and I’m worried about my sweaty hands touching her, but that’s trivial now. I confessed!

What do you think! With my sense of accomplishment mixed with desperation, I raised my eyes to look at her expression.

Eh, wait a moment. That wasn’t what I was expecting.

It wasn’t flustered and red like usual, but it wasn’t a disgusted expression nor an excited one. Shouldn’t there be something more? I don’t know what to do about this!

“Um~?”

I confessed to you, but could you like, give me a reply? I called out with that feeling in mind, and Shiori-san, who seemed to have come to her senses, replied. “Ah yes.”

“Um, sorry. I froze.”

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“I was just a little surprised. . .”

“Ah, yeah.”

That’s right, you’re surprised.

She is still kind of fluffed up, but she doesn’t seem to have had a bad reaction to it. At Least she didn’t feel disgusted. 

I wanted a good answer if possible. Actually I’d like a “I like you to”. I have imagined that in my simulations of a mutual love, so come on!

I clenched my fist while I patiently waited for an answer. Then she finally called out.

“Um. . .Thank you. I’m a little embarrassed, but I’m happy you like me.”

Her cheeks blushed as she became embarrassed, she fidgeted as it filled my heart with anticipation and happiness.

I’m so happy! Does this mean it was a successful confession!? Is it mutual?!

“So then. . .”

“Yeah. As long as Sara is okay with it, let me be your first kiss.”

“. . .Yeah?”

Oh, that is also important, but that isn’t what I was talking about?. . .Um?

“To put it into words is a little embarrassing. But I feel blessed that you liked me as a friend that much.”

“Eh, frien-!?”

No, this person. Did I not get it right! What is this “blessed to be a friend” stuff!? Who would want just their friend to be their first kiss!?

I have to tell you again. I like you as a friend, but I also like you romantically. I want to be your lover!

“Well, then I should get going.”

“Ah. . .”

She stood up and I followed.

No, don’t go home. I still haven’t. . .

“See you later, Sara.”

She said that and waved with a smile, and then walked out the door. All I could do was wave back without saying anything extra.

I stared at the slowly closing door. I stood stunned. I went to look infront to see if she was there- – -but she wasn’t.

Once it was over, I couldn’t endure it. I fell to the floor as it all hit me at once, naturally I began to sob.

“Fu. . . Why? I said I liked you. . . I confessed! !”

Did she just not get it? Or was she trying to dodge it?

I put it bluntly, how could she not understand? She avoided giving me a clear answer. Even now, she left as if she was running away.

In other words, my best effort to express my feelings was not accepted. Even though I gathered the courage to tell her so clearly, she didn’t take me seriously and treated it as if it was just friendship.

“Uuuu. . .Waaaaaa. . !”

I shouldn’t have confessed. 

I might have been able to sort out these feelings if I had been rejected like Shimamoto-san, instead of being left in this half-assed state. It’s too much to ask, she won’t even give me guidance.

Even so. Even though something like this happened. I couldn’t give up hope that it still might be possible. 

I might become a nuisance, and it would be easier for me to just give up. But still- – –

“As I thought, I like you. . .”

No one heard my little confession this time.

Shiori-san said she was afraid of being persistently pursued, but it’s not easy to let go of these feelings. Her tender smile, her calm way of speaking, how she is easily moved to tears, all of them I absolutely like. There is no way I can immediately forget about you.

So please let me keep liking you, just for a while longer. Because I won’t trouble you. I won’t annoy you.

After I made that decision, my feelings became lighter, but sure enough my heart still hurt.

I cried a little after that though.